Hi all. I am a 23 year old post op transsexual, having had my operation back in 2003. I've noticed that my sex drive has dramatically decreased since the operation and it's really messing things up with me and my boyfriend who i've been with for 2 years.
I'm of course still on hormones....I take Estrafem rotated with an Estrogen/Testosterone (low dose) every day but my sex drive just won't come back.
I mean this is horrible, lol!!!! I feel totally satisfied with my results, body, myself in general aside from this. I just get irritated alot when my bf wants to engage in any sort of sexual contact and it's very bothersome for him and especially me knowing how sexual i used to be. I was wondering if any of you that are knowlegeable or post op could offer any advice. I'd appreciate it greatly. ::Hugs::

Edit to remove doseage

Maybe have your endo look at your proportion of testosterone and make sure it's not affecting your sex drive. Also, could be thyroid, iron deficiency, or any number of problems.

You should probably talk to a doctor about it and go for a thorough round of blood tests and other tests.

If nothing physical is found, then there are therapists who specialize in the area. It may be something psychologically you're not aware of.

Dennis

Nada, Rien, Nichts, Niets, ничто, ingenting,  沒什麼東西, 何も, لا شيء, τίποτα, 아무것, niente

Does it matter?

Of course it doesn't!



It has never mattered!



tinkerbell

Yup.  It is a wonderful gift of mental freedom to be rid of it!  I've often wondered how this view of intamacy of mine influenced me to transition.

I'm glad to see you're sense of humor is still in tact Tink.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on January 22, 2007, 10:56:55 PM
Yup.  It is a wonderful gift of mental freedom to be rid of it!  I've often wondered how this view of intamacy of mine influenced me to transition.

I'm glad to see you're sense of humor is still in tact Tink.

Cindi

Actually the only funny thing I did was to translate the word "nothing" in different languages, the rest is no joke.

tinkerbell

Sex drive - what the heck is that.  Someone drove off with mine and they haven't come back yet   But then I'm in no conditin to even think about sex

Steph

i'm [not] post-opt yet. my sex drive has been in the area of 0 since i began hrt, and [I don't care either].  if i cared about my sex drive, i'd definitely question my transsexuality

Isn't it dangerous to drive while having sex?

I traded mine in too.  Don't miss it either!

-Sandy

My excuse is being 69 years, 7 months and 17 days old.  But I can still spell sex.  See?

Robyn

i had surgery 3 years ago, previous to that i never had much drive, now that i'm through with surgery i have even less..... its starting to create a rift at home.... he's dosing with T and i'm on shots of E..... i feel wonderful with my body, fully sensate, self lubricating multiple orgasm capable... i just never have any drive....  i dont want him to suffer because i dont have any drive.... but i'm not sure what to do. i love snuggling and being really close etc etc but it takes me almost forever to get warmed up..... once i get warmed up things get rather hot and both of us are left very satified... but its so infrequent... and i know he must be struggling with frustration....

Classically, it's men that have the sex drive and pursue women.  Often women have a "headache" or they just spread their legs and let their men get off.  And if the guy asks, women say, yes, it was great, you're such a great lover.
I had my surgery in 1986, twenty years ago.  I am not a sexual woman.  I know it is possibly true that some women have a huge sex drive, but possibly they are only trying to please men rather than themselves. 
It is natural to lose your sex drive when testosterone decreases.
Just spread your legs honey and enjoy your womanhood 

Quote from: ruthie on February 27, 2007, 10:10:24 PM

Just spread your legs honey and enjoy your womanhood 

LOL  ...well, I'm afraid it isn't that simple yet.  Perhaps in another six months when everything is totally healed up.


tinkerbell

Hi BK, If there are no physical problems it's worth remembeing that what you've been used to was the male orgasm, your in new territory now girl. As a woman you will have sensations that are not as clearly defined as a guy's, but more of a subtle feeling of being swept up gradually. So maybe if you focus more on the "pathway" to reaching a climax you will be less anxious. Lets face it, anxiety can be a real buzz kill. -Jonie:)

Speaking from my own experience it is possible to have a sex drive through hrt and post-op. My ability to cum or orgasm (and there is a big difference there) is lessened, but that wasn't the goal during sex to me anyways. The major goal was to make one's partner feel good and to feel good in the process oneself as we have sex. I have a strong sex drive and always have had such, but sex isn't important, the intimacy with the other is. Enjoy what you can, but don't let it become a purpose in life. (Former sex addict speaking).
Rashelle

I asked in the wrong thread

Quote from: SSindysmithI have a question for those that have experienced penetration post-op.

I have this crazy idea that it will feel like I am being stroked.

Can you describe the feeling?

Uhhoh this is a hard question to answer and to verbalize. My answer is from my experience. For me it does not feel like being stroked. What it feels is "RIGHT" in that it feels as if I'm penetrated. When I first woke up after SRS and Dr. Chet said it's ok everything is alright. I did not need to look or too feel the bandages or any other form of checking to make sure the offending organs from before were gone. What I felt was that everything was in it's right place and natural. That was the most wonderful feeling to wake up to ever. It colors my thoughts/feelings on being penetrated now in that what it feels is natural and different then from what it felt like having those dangly bits between my legs before.
Rashelle

*giggles*  Oh boy, recently I've been hearing certain terms on these forums which, for some reason, make me giggle. 

tink

It is a totally different feeling.  There is nothing like it in the male experience. It's sorta like the difference between squeezing and swelling.  Does that make any sense?

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on April 07, 2007, 01:19:25 AM
It is a totally different feeling.  There is nothing like it in the male experience. It's sorta like the difference between squeezing and swelling.  Does that make any sense?

Cindi

Well Cindi, I haven't experienced anything "in the male experience" for a very long time, probably as long as you have, so that "male part" doesn't  make sense to me.  However, the "squeezing and swelling" part may make some sense depending on how things develop in the future.

tink

I'm not desperate to have sex "every day" like Hidrix, lol.  I want my fiance to enjoy me as a human and not a sex toy.