I have not been "there" with this subject matter, but I think of it ALL the time and it's one of the reasons I remain celibate.  I have a great fear of having to hear this one day upon trying to get intimate with someone or upon revealing (if I'm even stealth, for that matter) I'm biologically female and have no desire to really hide it.

The closest story to it I have:  My first "kiss" was with a boy... long time ago, I think I was in 5th grade?  Truth or Dare, of course, but it was intentionally set-up to happen.  It happened on other occasions in sweet innocent.  Awh!  The good old days.  (Boy how kids have changed, lol.)  We were friends since we were very very young, sadly he moved away about a year later and we didn't keep in touch.  NO internet back then either, haha.

Anyway, a few years ago I found him on MySpace and we friend-ed up.  It was so awkward.  We could chat up a storm as if we never parted as friends, but I still have that damn crush on him, however, I know nothing will ever happen because he likes females, and he likes them very feminine!  It is the biggest slap across the face knowing I transitioned to represent ME the way I FEEL, but now lost out on a potential relationship because, the "real me" isn't of the taste of so many, including those we may have once been with, or had a potential relationship with.

And then trying to find someone, so much fear, but I see so many successful relationship and wonder how on earth they get so lucky.  I feel like the food of a fetish sometimes.  Who knows!  It seems safe to sometimes stick with your own type (other trans. members)... but that simply would be a really bad way to think and live your life. 

Hey, hopefully we are the start to the world changing and not basing love and relationships on genitalia.

I hope we are the start of something new too....in my book love really should have no gender!

Dude Im in the same exact position. I posted like and identical topic a wile back. Im am so in love with my best friends it hurts. it kills me. it makes me painfully jealous and almost sick to see her with other guys. She tells me she likes men.. that were born with all the parts... and thats always how it will be. i got no advice because im struggling with this really hard and i dont know how im gunna get over it. we've been best friends for over 4 years now. im sorry man, i really know how it feels.

Quote from: Lee11 on May 06, 2011, 07:48:43 PM
I hope we are the start of something new too....in my book love really should have no gender!

Unfortunately, most people (including me) seem to have expectations about our lovers' genitals. Maybe some of that is due to conditioning. Over the last few years, I've been noticing that my students seem to be more fluid about both gender and sexuality than the previous generation.

I dread the day when I start getting interested in a guy, get serious enough to come out, and am rejected because he's "not into women." I'm not looking for a relationship right now--I have way too much other stuff on my plate--but I honestly don't want to be single forever. Still, I don't relish the risks involved in looking seriously for a partner. I don't give much for my chances. I'm pushing fifty, I'm gay, and I'm trans. Three strikes, yer out.

Quote from: Michael James on May 07, 2011, 10:52:48 PM
Dude Im in the same exact position. I posted like and identical topic a wile back. Im am so in love with my best friends it hurts. it kills me. it makes me painfully jealous and almost sick to see her with other guys. She tells me she likes men.. that were born with all the parts... and thats always how it will be. i got no advice because im struggling with this really hard and i dont know how im gunna get over it. we've been best friends for over 4 years now. im sorry man, i really know how it feels.

Thanks for this! You are right this is the same situation. It makes you kinda crazy but you have no control...if you ever feel like e mailing me please do...I am sure we share days that are identical with this!

Unfortunately, most people (including me) seem to have expectations about our lovers' genitals. Maybe some of that is due to conditioning. Over the last few years, I've been noticing that my students seem to be more fluid about both gender and sexuality than the previous generation.
I dread the day when I start getting interested in a guy, get serious enough to come out, and am rejected because he's "not into women." I'm not looking for a relationship right now--I have way too much other stuff on my plate--but I honestly don't want to be single forever. Still, I don't relish the risks involved in looking seriously for a partner. I don't give much for my chances. I'm pushing fifty, I'm gay, and I'm trans. Three strikes, yer out.

The subject of gender and sexuality sure is complex....and I hope you are wrong about your chances...I am pushing 50 myself!!