That is one mad box 
I am pretty good at putting together PCs too. But there is a lot of work in all those lights I am sure! You obviously have some skills. Setting up the front panel is annoying enough let alone all the little wires that no doubt had to be sorted for that.

WELL THE BEST I CAN SAY IS COME LIVE WITH ME AND MY MOM.We are in central pa with lots of amish and mennonites and good farmers who care. You could help me by watching mom while i get work done here on my farm.= http://directory.ic.org/22661/Veterans_Mountain_farm___swords_to_plowshares_in_Pennsylvania

i'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation, natalie. as much as i'd like to "import" you over to my place here in norway (you seem to me like a very charming woman), i realize i don't have the necessary economic funds for doing so. i could really use a job myself..

might it be a possibility for you to look for an already established (but still small) company that may recognize you skills with computers?  just thinking there has to be some place out there that cares more about your skills than your education

liked your song for the day, btw

here's me wishing you luck!

actually, i'm even praying for you. stay strong, girl!

Good luck with everything, I wish I could help!
But i'm on the other side of the country. I'd totally try and fix your car for you though.
I could only give advice about the car from where i am...Rex the mechanic at your service! X3

fragility is hard to deal with...

I just found a law student willing to pay for my college if I moved to him too, yeah I got my wish! He's young too, damn lucky me. He owns a company, and all. This is THE ONE. I found him.

But anyways, just try your hardest in life and all things fall in place.

I'm sorry it came to all that.  I'd offer you a place to stay if you find yourself in western PA.  Otherwise, good luck with everything!

you have to be true to yourself and it sounds like you are!   Unfortunately, for most of the civilized world, being transgendered is something that is not completely understood so therefore it is feared.  We are outcasted, loathed at, and feared.  But, we are true to ourselves and how many can really say they are true to themselves?  Too many times as you know, it is our families that do not understand and cast us out according to the sociological values that they know.  But, we are not alone in the world.  there are quite a number of other species on this planet that can and do change their sex midway thru life!
Thankfully there are sites like Susans that let us reach out and find a new family and network of support!
Hang in there!! You are being true to yourself and living the way you were intended to!

After seeing your pics in other threads and here, I can only say that you have an AMAZING face and you pass so well!

When people are alone, they think.

If I was a parent, which I will be soon, the thought of leaving my child alone, and in a situation such as what you are going through, would eat me alive.
Aside from outside influences, I think I would eventually see the err of my ways.

I am not saying all people are like this, Im just saying, you never know.

My family disowned me because of my drug addiction, but this is a different thing all together.
June 1st I had 10 years clean, and we talk, and hang out, but I think me being transgendered is going to totally test their love and their minds.

I cant suggest moving to Vegas, because economically things are very difficult here for most people. However, if you ever are in the city, message me and I will cook you a good meal  and see if we can help. 

Please be strong, I know just thinking about your situation has caused me severe depression and I dont think you should be alone. I also dont think you should sell yourself for economic security, but thats your decision and I know I have sold myself, for drugs so Ive been there.

At least you are being yourself

It's Ok doll.

Seven to eight days

Cindy

Wow... all I can say is that you are a far stronger person than I would be in your situation.  I wish you all the best.

Amy

 It will be inside a card. I can cry, I cant be beaten,

I've been raped, I have been ignored.

I have never lost and neither will you. 

Hang in, be strong.

Simple words, deep meaning

Sleep well tonight.

I'm here


Cindy

You look fabulous in those pictures, I only hope I can look half as good as you over the next few years.

With regards to your family, if you've decided to call it quits with them (I wouldn't blame you if you did) then wait until you feel emotionaly strong enough & tell them that you are cutting them out of your life, this will give you a control over them instead of the other way around.
I havn't seen my father for about 5 years now, we had an argument because he went from seeing me twice a month to maybe twice a year once he met my ex girlfriend, I told him quite plainly that i'd never liked my step mum but had been friendly & polite to her for 17 years because he was happy with her & he was out of order for blanking me since I met my girlfriend.

We met in a pub for a chat to try & resolve the problem & he bought a half pint & told me that he didn't owe my ex an apology for refusing to have anything to do with her & that I had until he finished his half to apologise to my step mum for saying that i'd never liked her, my response was to down my pint in one, I told him calmly & politely to enjoy his life & walked out of the pub, it hurt to have to do it but it also gave me the strength to carry on because I was the one who ended things between us.

Since I came out about planning on the transition word has reached me through family that he thinks what i'm doing is disgusting, wrong & he doesn't ever want to see me but because I was the one who finished our relationship this doesn't bother me, I wasn't suprised by his reaction as he's always been narrowminded, in fact he was the reason I kept my ->-bleeped-<- (is that a real word?) hidden for 30 years.
In hindsight I wonder if I broke contact with him because he was one of the biggest things that stopped me transitioning as over the next few years I broke friendships with everyone in my life who would object to this process, I only decided about a year ago that I had to do this but it feels like i've been subconciously preparing for this for years

The decision must be yours at the end of the day but I feel that taking control of your life back from controlling people is a very important coping tool.

Best wishes, big hugs & please stay strong

Sarah.

However you dress or are treated by others you will remain who you are inside.

Sometimes we need to wear pretty horrible uniforms in some situation. We do it because we have no choice.

But as long as you believe in yourself, it doesn't matter how you look. Frankly, from your photos, it will be a bit difficult for you to pass as male anyway.

But, given your present circumstances, it might be better to take up your parent's offer. At least until you can sort your life and your health out.

That's my two pennith worth.

okay god damn all this is awful

Don't move back in with your parents. Really.

In regards to income etc, could you work towards living somewhere with a good public transportation system? If you get roommates, in many cities you could get rent for 500 dollars or so. That would leave 300-400 dollars spend on transportation, food, and medical care and you would probably qualify for food stamps. You could try find a city that is more liberal than where you are now too and further away from your parents. Just being in a new area might help, it does for me (mainly different issues though).

I'm sorry if this is totally unhelpful but please do not give up and keep trying to find a way to push through. One day at a time if necessary.

I can't really offer any advice or help, I just want to tell you that you are an incredibly brave and strong girl Sarah.

it's horrible how problems always seem to wait until they all can pop up at the same time, making your life so much harder in so short time..

you showing up in court as a woman won't only be interesting, it'll be awesome if you can stay firm in being your real self. from what you've written it seems you don't really have any much to lose anymore except for your life (which i hope you won't give up on no matter what), so i hope you'll stay strong and confident as a woman and take whatever comes at you with dignity (it's still ok to feel weak and cry, that's a different matter, just don't ever let them see you taking on a male role again)

sounds like the worst thing they can do is sending you back to your parents, as they will do their very best to hold you back. anything else gives you the possibility of getting yourself up to a better place than you've ever been before. even if you end up homeless and penniless, you may still find unexpected help and opportunities

Quote

sounds like the worst thing they can do is sending you back to your parents, as they will do their very best to hold you back. anything else gives you the possibility of getting yourself up to a better place than you've ever been before. even if you end up homeless and penniless, you may still find unexpected help and opportunities

I agree. Homelessness and the situation you're in now is really, really hard. But lots of people have been there before. It's not an end.

Quote from: SarahElls on June 13, 2011, 11:40:37 AM
First shot of my body, I'm told I'm too think, but anorexia will do that to you?  Still flat but I think I would be at this weight regardless.  Trying to recover and eat more, but it's hard getting my mind back around to normal eating habits, lol.

It definitely takes a while to get back to that.  Nearly two years in my case, and only until I started HRT and decided I wanted a shot at having breasts.  The most difficult part is that, when you get back to healthy eating, you get bloated a lot to the point that sometimes your stomach can look distended.  It's terribly uncomfortable too, but you have to push through it because even that will go away after some time (so I'm told... hasn't happened to me yet after three months of normal eating).  Weight distribution is also messed up; many natal females wind up with belly weight first on a refeeding program.

Above all, stay strong!   Some day, this will pass and you'll be amazed at the perseverance of your spirit.