For me the most important thing I did before I came out to my family was to prepare my situation. Rehearse what you're going to say. Rehearse and refine, over and over. It doesn't matter if you think it sounds cheesy, silly, bad, or what have you, because it's not what will come out. I prepared my speech for several weeks, and when my expected opportunity flew by because I hadn't accounted for the unaccountable I was unable to spring my routine as intended. This lead to improvising an opportunity out of thin air, on the fly, with all sorts of family time whirling around me. My hand was forced and I had to make a few less-than-ideal move involving hotel rooms and telephones; that sounds a lot worse than it really was.
What I took away from my experience was when the words do need to flow, they will gum up and fight against you as best they can. The first sentence was the hardest, but after that it was like playing hop scotch in the yard with what I rehearsed out in front. Perhaps it couldn't flow exactly as I had intended, and perhaps there was a bit of rambling or ranting in there, as you can tell I often do, but the message was clear. The other thing learned was everyone will react differently. My younger brother, of the 4chan generation, simply stated, drunk off his ass for the first time in his life, "Well that makes sense." My father was solemn and asked a lot of logistical questions, something I had sort of anticipated. My mother was my wildcard. There were two possibilities, a good and a less good, but not bad. Obviously the less good option was the winner. All I can advise for a less than ideal reaction is to give someone space. Everyone copes with this sort of thing differently. For my mother it was 6 glasses of Champagne and 14 shots of good tequila; she's not an alcoholic. Eventually she came around and now showers me with cast offs of lotion and makeup and other things I can't exactly afford just this second in my life.
In the end it's your decision, as everyone else will say, to open up to your family. Though I do feel, even if it turns out poorly, trusting your family, and having the guts to spill yourself out in this way, is the only way to truly feel some sort of satisfaction with yourself. Having to tread softly through life around certain people is just short of total misery. Being free feels so much better, even when some people don't totally agree with how you wish to live your life.
