Quote from: Da Monkey on May 24, 2011, 07:16:07 AM
I agree. Plus how is that even relevant at all?

I would assume it is a sincere intent not to mis-gender tekla in replies. I've had occasions when I had to re-word a reply over just that concern but i assumed it would be more obvious if I was supposed to know.

i do realize there are members here who prefer to be "non-gendered" and respect that, but i can certainly understand that someone would consider that courtesy would impel them to make sure they got it right.

One might even argue that, in this setting especially, being deliberately vague about it if you were NOT in fact wishing to be understood as androgynous or "non-gendered" would be an act of rudeness.

but I never saw it as worth commenting on. perhaps tekla is trying to make a point.

If we keep in mind the difference between a mutually respectful discussion about different beliefs or opinions on the one hand, and rudeness on the other I think we can all get along.   There is always the chance of learning something new. 
I have always regarded  Tekla as "Tekla", gender generally irrevelant  to most discussions anyway! More interested in the opinion than the appearance, knowing that any posts will be interesting.

Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on July 03, 2011, 02:53:06 AM
If we keep in mind the difference between a mutually respectful discussion about different beliefs or opinions on the one hand, and rudeness on the other I think we can all get along.   There is always the chance of learning something new. 
I have always regarded  Tekla as "Tekla", gender generally irrevelant  to most discussions anyway! More interested in the opinion than the appearance, knowing that any posts will be interesting.

Karen.

Oh i agree.

but what I'm referring to is this:

Let's say that tekla says something controversial (shocking i know, lol) and a reply misunderstands (IMO) what was said.

i jump in and say. "I believe you misunderstood tekla, what she meant was..."


Screeching halt.

She? Maybe? should I have said "he"? Maybe?

so I go back and re-word the post to avoid gendered pronouns.

maybe that's the goal, but if there is NOT such a point-making going on, and tekla is NOT trying to present and androgynous persona, then it's a perfectly understandable thing that someone would trip a bit on the conundrum of how to handle things like pronouns without giving offense.

the saving grace, of course, being that tekla doesn't strike me as the sort who WOULD get offended if mis-gendered.

Quote from: tekla on May 24, 2011, 02:14:01 AM
good sir or is it madam, what is it?
You do realize that that's about the most un-enlightenment statement you can make around here don't you?

The word you're looking for is most unenlightened and I ask because you make pretty judging statements.

Twice about tattoos, saying to one person "when they are ready to be a man come to back to you", and also the general public can comment on other people's tattoos according to you, you're not going to be doing that we know tekla unless you're in a safe environment.   Now this thing about tattoos and your claim to working in the entertainment industry raises a warning flag, quite a few artists and performers and the stage crews and roadies are likely to have tattoos, tattoos are everywhere you apparently work with these people, I'd have thought you'd know tattoos can enhance beauty or just be simply part of someone's uniqueness.  So I doubt you work in that industry in the capacity you claim, that's my opinion.

You've also said women here need 'more backbone'.

I'd like to know where you're coming from, one of the binaries, dual, questioning, none or a variation.  If tekla you're making statements about people like the ones I've raised I'd like to know who is making those statements, an avatar pic to back up the judgements, up to you of course not too. 
What I see is someone making unenlightened and also bragging statements.  Too try and make something of being asked your gender and actually most people want to pass as one (being one does not have to be a cliche if it's from a place of  personal expression).  You also probably made something of me wanting queer and straight junked, I see nothing as queer or straight, end of story.

Quote from: tekla on May 24, 2011, 02:14:01 AM
But what's best is "Doctor".  That way its not a self-designated (and what are those worth anyway?) statement, but a designation placed upon me by others, which is much more valid in the real world as it more than adequately reflects what 'others see me as' which is of far more value than than any internal dialog offers.  It's also gender-neutral, which makes it even better as it does even less to answer the original question.

You're a doctor as much as you've stage managed Cyprus Hill, or worked with David Copperfield, making bragging statements without evidence?   Any normal person provides photographic evidence or a website (even bevariationstter) adults know making claims like those is a fantasy internet life like me claiming to be a pianist without evidence it's a fantasy internet life.  You could plead not backing up your claims with wanting to protect yourself because of the nature of this site, personally no evidence at all because of that?  I think I'd not make up silly fantasies and just actually start living my life.  But really the issue is I think you might want to transition but you can't for some of the many reasons people don't or haven't, that's my take on it, I hope you do take the plunge if it will make you happy.

Quote from: tekla on May 24, 2011, 02:14:01 AM
Oh yeah, that 'weird style of quoting" is called formal writing, which was far more important for my generation to learn than apparently it was to yours, so we were taught to write like that.  But the main reason is I don't want to attract more attention to the quote (which is merely my starting place) than to the more important stuff, which is what I'm actually writing.  And by important, I mean what I'm writing and thinking, not what you are simply reading.

I graduated from a top 20 university in the UK (no that's not bragging haha) and what you're doing is called unreferenced quoting, it's easier to know who exactly you're replying too tekla and if you look in academic papers all citations have author and the work, so you want to call what you do formal writing?  Imagine a book or article without referencing any authors names.

This is old, get over it.  Put it down and walk away.  Everyone else has.  Hell the original poster has left the site.  Get a grip.

Hugh, Am I having trouble following this thread, or am I having trouble following this thread.    On the subject of Sensitivity to myself and others, a strange thing happened to me today in the sensitivity to myself which probably will transfer over to the sensitivity of others.  Or not.   I got up and I felt like very effeminate like I was like cotton candy inside.   All sticky and mushy and warm.   I wanted to take the world between my boobs (which I have little of because not taking hormones yet).    I feel like female is really getting real for me.   So, that's all folks.

I have elected not to have surgery or take hormones and I'm fine with that. EACH Person's situation is different and I am mindful of that.   GENNEE

Quote from: rejennyrated on March 07, 2011, 02:58:50 PM
Over the last year or so we have developed a fine tradition of posting good luck threads for people soon to go in for their surgery. This is obviously a very kindly gesture and a sign of the real concern that we all hold for each other.

However without wanting to criticise anyone can I make a gentle plea for people to be sensitive to the many here who have found themselves stuck and unable to progress to SRS due to circumstances or lack of funding.

Offering our support and good wishes to those approaching a major life changing event is highly to be commended. However we need to be careful that in our enthusiastic support for them we do not inadvertently end up rubbing the noses of those less fortunate in their situation.

It would be terrible if someone committed suicide because of depression brought on by a rather vocal reminder of the blessing that others are soon to receive and that they fear that they may never reach.

Thanks Jenny; for looking out for some of us, in the interest of all. I'll keep my inner cheerleader in time out while in such threads. When I read that when of my sisters is about to have surgery though, my heart leaps and I want to go bouncing round the room. I may never have surgery, due to some health issues, but I've reconciled that. That isn't what makes me me. I promise though, that I will curb my enthusiasm.

Surgery of any kind is scary to say the least. I been through two back surgery and need a third one. For the most part I faced them all alone (glad I can walk now.)
People who face any kind of surgery have to remember till you wake up you don't know what has transpired?? I know they need to stay in a positive frame of mind so so so any word or time u give them is Great (Says Toni the tiger.) Ps only my thought

Hey, may be all the people who have been rub the wrong way by the posting of the people "over" congratualting those who are getting their SRS can go an occupy wall street

Jen61