I've been sniffing around these forums for maybe 2 or 3 months now, so I guessed it was time to make an account
But here's the rundown of moi:
When I was younger (I am an older teen now), I used to play with boys a lot, just because girls were too sassy, too worried about getting their hair messy and their shoes muddy, whereas I couldn't have cared less. When it comes to being socialized as a boy or girl, it's kind of a mix for me. The only time I played with other children was at school, where I guess I spent 60% of my time with guys, and at home I would play video games and the like, simply because I wasn't interested in playing with anyone else outside of school. Now i'm in secondary school, i'm hanging out with girls more, as social standards say I must. But there's a lot of "girly" things I have just never got. Wearing makeup, clothes shopping, talking about who we crush on and stuff just makes me feel embarrassed. I have guy friends too, and if I was honest, I fit in with them more. As nasty as it sounds, I would much rather have a burping competition with my guy friends than leaf through magazines and talking about makeup and bitching about people. I guess that's what just floats my boat.
I have pretty much accepted myself as male. In my childhood, back when gender didn't matter, I was always the male character in video games, just 'cause. And now i'm older, I can see myself consciously making those choices because they make me feel happy in myself. I bought a binder in secret just to see what it would be like. Need I say how great, confident and happy it made me feel, just a little change like that?
It makes me wonder whether I should go further.
However, like most, I got some things stopping me from transitioning. I'm worried about being wrong as much as I am worried about being right. What if I come out and my family rejects me? What if I lose my friends? Would I ever physically represent what I want to be? I'm pretty young, and the only person that knows I have gender dysphoria is my mum. She pretty much thinks that it's a phase. She told me that if I wanted to go along with it she would support me, but at the same time she doesn't understand why I would want to "get rid of" [female name]. I think she sees it as kind of "Killing" my old self, and forgetting my childhood ever happened. Her children mean a lot to her, and i'm worried about how supportive she'll actually be.
But anyway, a big "Hi" to you all! I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people were in my position as well, and that i'm not some kind of freak that thinks they got handed the wrong parts. So awesome to see how many actually go forward and make a change
Sending good vibes to you all.
