...ya can't pass with it? All ya get is acne, some unwanted hair in some places you don't want it, baldness, ect... what's the point of T if your not gunna pass as male with it? I've been on T for a little over 6 months now and I just got back from the store and while I was checking out, the girl kept calling me ma'm. I wanted to die when she was doing that. I didn't feel comfortable correcting her b/c she saw me as female and other people were around, it was so embarrassing. I thought at 6 months I would be passing. Apparently not. I was dressed in black jeans and a black shirt with writing and a black jacket. And of course I was all bind up. My chest is not as flat as I want it to be, but it does pass as being flat enough. How long do you have to be on T to pass as totally male?

If and when I'm able to grow facial hair I'm doing it. I know my mom will be upset, but it's so upsetting being seen as female, especially out in public. That whole experience put me in a really bad mood.  I wonder what made her see female instead of male? Even when I spoke, I still got ma'm? My voice isn't girlie anymore. I thought my voice was male? My voice isn't real deep yet, but it should pass as male. Frustrating!

When people see you as female and use female pronouns in public, do you correct them or let it go?

Depends on who you are. I'm at 8.5 months, still seen as female around 90% of the time...granted, it's slightly more often than what I had before. My comfort with some parts of my body have gotten better.

That totally sucks your still seen as female being that many months on T. Isn't that so frustrating? I'd be ready to give up on T if I'm one year and not passing. I would say a year into T you should pass. Some are passing way before a year and I wish I was too.

Glad your comfort with some parts of the body has got'n better.

Well, passing and such aside, T helps if you plan on getting top and/or bottom surgery. Also it helps with your voice, which can only really be changed by T. Same with facial hair and such.

It's incredibly frustrating...mostly because I know there's nothing I can do to change how other people view me. I did a survey not too long ago asking people when were they read as male regularly and I think it was around 98% were read as male within the first year.

Dominick, everyone's bodies change with T in their own time.  Some people get changes fast, others slower.  and sometimes it depends on the amount they are taking, or the amount they took initially. 
If I were you, I would try not to compare myself too much with others.  Your body will change at its pace.

I remembered reading in a thread here that people say the voice doesn't really completely finish lowering until about 2 years being on T.   If you've only been on for a little over 6 months, I'd say you got to be patient a little while longer.

T WILL change your body and it WILL allow you to pass with it.  But it takes its sweet time to get there.  Just hold out hope.

That's all I can say.  I am pre-T and I got to keep holding out hope that I can get on T soon and then that the changes will happen for me as well.

We are obviously far more sensitive to misgendering than cisgendered people.  I know, I was, and got hugely irritated even though I knew I didn't pass.

If you guys have been on T, have your voices changed?  If so, stand up, be confident, laugh, and say, hey, I'm a guy!  Lots of young cis-guys, esp. heavier guys, have more feminine features.  Heck, my own son gets misgendered and there is nothing feminine about him.  He just gives people an eye roll when they call him 'she.'  Like they're so stupid they think I'm a girl.

I'm also assuming your documentation is changed that many months on T?  That shuts up a lot of people when  they see male name and M on your ID.


Jay

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 04, 2011, 03:58:33 PM
...ya can't pass with it? All ya get is acne, some unwanted hair in some places you don't want it, baldness, ect... what's the point of T if your not gunna pass as male with it? I've been on T for a little over 6 months now and I just got back from the store and while I was checking out, the girl kept calling me ma'm. I wanted to die when she was doing that. I didn't feel comfortable correcting her b/c she saw me as female and other people were around, it was so embarrassing. I thought at 6 months I would be passing. Apparently not. I was dressed in black jeans and a black shirt with writing and a black jacket. And of course I was all bind up. My chest is not as flat as I want it to be, but it does pass as being flat enough. How long do you have to be on T to pass as totally male?

If and when I'm able to grow facial hair I'm doing it. I know my mom will be upset, but it's so upsetting being seen as female, especially out in public. That whole experience put me in a really bad mood.  I wonder what made her see female instead of male? Even when I spoke, I still got ma'm? My voice isn't girlie anymore. I thought my voice was male? My voice isn't real deep yet, but it should pass as male. Frustrating!

When people see you as female and use female pronouns in public, do you correct them or let it go?

for the last question I must say sadly NO, I almost never correct people when they got me female pronoucing,
I hate to correct people because I feel like im the bad guy getting angry over something they dont understand.
if I correct them they might even point out why I look so femenine and it just make me more angry. I do say im a guy if they ask but sadly I tend to be a sissy and just ignoring it, and get me out of mess.
-
being on T or not is up to you and everyones choice,
I love the chance T have made for me so far but I can diffently see your point.
I think the world are pretty unfair and some just tend to pass way more easy than others.
I know this guy, even after meeting him the very first day he got T he still looked Way more boyish than me and after having T for 3 mounth you couldnt tell,
--
I really hate the fact when I dont pass, I had everything from very maculine clothes and short hair to very long hair and femenine clothes, but when people see my face they either see, a boyish girl/a very young looking guy.
its suchs and there really nothing I can do about it..

My documents haven't changed...no name change, no gender marker change. My voice has changed but some people think I just sound like somebody who smokes...a lot.

I think that having a friend around to call other people out has been a lot of help. I feel like when I'm alone and misgendered I'm the smaller person/opinion less wanted, etc. When I have a friend that corrects others for me, I feel better...and usually safer. I actually went to dinner with a friend of mine who is also trans and has the same problem with correcting people. I told him I would correct people for him if he did the same for me. Really, it's easier, I feel safer, and I know I have support in that kind of a situation.

Quote from: Nygeel on August 04, 2011, 05:14:19 PM
My documents haven't changed...no name change, no gender marker change. My voice has changed but some people think I just sound like somebody who smokes...a lot.

I think that having a friend around to call other people out has been a lot of help. I feel like when I'm alone and misgendered I'm the smaller person/opinion less wanted, etc. When I have a friend that corrects others for me, I feel better...and usually safer. I actually went to dinner with a friend of mine who is also trans and has the same problem with correcting people. I told him I would correct people for him if he did the same for me. Really, it's easier, I feel safer, and I know I have support in that kind of a situation.

its nice when people correct themself or for others,
it also show they got respect in your, and in themself enough to suport you.

friends are very important for me in my transdition and life generally, they put me up for all my ignorance, and the crap parrents can give,
and I love them very much

If I was on T for months with little changes I would be at the doctors getting my levels checked.

T eventually makes you pass, I think, I mean it takes cismales like 10 years. Is estrogen more effective?

Quote from: Sharky on August 04, 2011, 06:23:13 PM
If I was on T for months with little changes I would be at the doctors getting my levels checked.

I definitely second this.

most people have pretty significant changes even in the first 3 months. obviously everyone reacts differently but generally people notice changes pretty quickly. I wouldn't be so quick to believe that "it must just be taking longer, but it will definitely happen" especially when you get out to the point of 3/4 to a full year. almost everyone I've seen has a beard and a Morgan Freeman voice by then. do your guys blood levels read in the male range?

Quote from: Sharky on August 04, 2011, 06:23:13 PM
If I was on T for months with little changes I would be at the doctors getting my levels checked.

Yeah, checking levels is a good idea...expensive though.  Just the T-level check is like $200 for me.  My insurance covers it all, but a lot of people aren't so fortunate.

I think sometimes the changes are harder to see when A.) it's yourself and you're overly critical of yourself,  B.) the people around you see you everyday and they're too close to it, or C.)the people around you stick their heads in the sand and refuse to see you as a man no matter what. 

Periodic video logs are very helpful for perspective, I find.  You don't have to upload them anywhere, or you can make them unlisted on Youtube if you don't want them floating in the ether(net).  When I'm frustrated because I get mis-gendered or am just in a self-deprecating mood, I watch the differences in the videos. 

Dominick, I don't know what your voice sounds like now or what it was like pre-T, but if at 6 months you've not had significant change, I'd consider taking inventory of your other changes (hair, muscle growth, downstairs growth) and if none of it seems to have changed that noticeably, I'd look into getting your levels checked, if possible.  I know we're not supposed to talk dosage here, but did your doctor mention whether your dose was a fairly standard dose, or lower?   

Quote from: RyanThomas on August 04, 2011, 06:52:39 PMalmost everyone I've seen has a beard and a Morgan Freeman voice by then. do your guys blood levels read in the male range?

Nope.

Decent beard but sucky moustache and sideburns, and beard is still mostly chinstrap.  I hate it.

Voice is absolutely horrible.  Deeper than it was, but not deep at all.  Mostly raspy.  Also hate it.

And I'm 3 years on T.

I did pass starting at the 3 month mark, but I blame that mostly on my age than anything else.


Jay

Quote from: JohnAlex on August 04, 2011, 04:48:14 PM
Dominick, everyone's bodies change with T in their own time.  Some people get changes fast, others slower.  and sometimes it depends on the amount they are taking, or the amount they took initially. 
If I were you, I would try not to compare myself too much with others.  Your body will change at its pace.

I remembered reading in a thread here that people say the voice doesn't really completely finish lowering until about 2 years being on T.   If you've only been on for a little over 6 months, I'd say you got to be patient a little while longer.

T WILL change your body and it WILL allow you to pass with it.  But it takes its sweet time to get there.  Just hold out hope.

That's all I can say.  I am pre-T and I got to keep holding out hope that I can get on T soon and then that the changes will happen for me as well.

Thanks. I hope you are able to get on T soon.

Quote from: sneakersjay on August 04, 2011, 05:07:03 PM
We are obviously far more sensitive to misgendering than cisgendered people.  I know, I was, and got hugely irritated even though I knew I didn't pass.

If you guys have been on T, have your voices changed?  If so, stand up, be confident, laugh, and say, hey, I'm a guy!  Lots of young cis-guys, esp. heavier guys, have more feminine features.  Heck, my own son gets misgendered and there is nothing feminine about him.  He just gives people an eye roll when they call him 'she.'  Like they're so stupid they think I'm a girl.

I'm also assuming your documentation is changed that many months on T?  That shuts up a lot of people when  they see male name and M on your ID.


Jay

Wow, that sucks that your son gets read as female sometimes, but that's good it doesn't bother him.

I haven't had anything changed over... no money. When you get your name change is that when everything changes over, like gender?

Quote from: Sharky on August 04, 2011, 06:23:13 PM
If I was on T for months with little changes I would be at the doctors getting my levels checked.

I had my last T levels checked in February and they were in the normal male range. My next T level check is in November. Should I ask to get my T levels checked sooner?

Quote from: Natkat on August 04, 2011, 05:10:58 PM
if I correct them they might even point out why I look so femenine and it just make me more angry.

That's what I was thinking too, so I didn't say anything.

Quote from: Bahzi on August 04, 2011, 08:17:46 PM
Yeah, checking levels is a good idea...expensive though.  Just the T-level check is like $200 for me.  My insurance covers it all, but a lot of people aren't so fortunate.

I think sometimes the changes are harder to see when A.) it's yourself and you're overly critical of yourself,  B.) the people around you see you everyday and they're too close to it, or C.)the people around you stick their heads in the sand and refuse to see you as a man no matter what. 

Periodic video logs are very helpful for perspective, I find.  You don't have to upload them anywhere, or you can make them unlisted on Youtube if you don't want them floating in the ether(net).  When I'm frustrated because I get mis-gendered or am just in a self-deprecating mood, I watch the differences in the videos. 

Dominick, I don't know what your voice sounds like now or what it was like pre-T, but if at 6 months you've not had significant change, I'd consider taking inventory of your other changes (hair, muscle growth, downstairs growth) and if none of it seems to have changed that noticeably, I'd look into getting your levels checked, if possible.  I know we're not supposed to talk dosage here, but did your doctor mention whether your dose was a fairly standard dose, or lower?   

As far as dosage goes, I'm not sure. She said I was in the normal male range, but I didn't need a lot of T b/c I'm small.

I don't take videos of myself, but I do takes pics so I can go back and see the changes. I don't see much b/c everyone says I look the same, only difference is my hair is shorter. My voice I think passes as male. I posted it once in the "do I pass thread" and people said it passed as a young male. I'll post another voice clip. I just got to get it onto my computer. I'll post it soon.

I keep wondering if I got read as female b/c I'm so short? But then again, I got read as male by the cashier at the pizza place like 2 months before.  So, I'm really confused. Everyone is reading me differently.  I didn't even think I looked female going into the store. The only things I can think of is that the cashier lady maybe thought I was a very butch lesbian. But my head isn't shaved. Maybe my hair is too short? Maybe it's bringing out some feminine features? Or my height? I'm not really sure what pegged me as female.

how tall are you?

Quote from: RyanThomas on August 04, 2011, 09:43:25 PM
how tall are you?

About 4'10

Quote from: Nygeel on August 04, 2011, 05:14:19 PM
My documents haven't changed...no name change, no gender marker change. My voice has changed but some people think I just sound like somebody who smokes...a lot.

I think that having a friend around to call other people out has been a lot of help. I feel like when I'm alone and misgendered I'm the smaller person/opinion less wanted, etc. When I have a friend that corrects others for me, I feel better...and usually safer. I actually went to dinner with a friend of mine who is also trans and has the same problem with correcting people. I told him I would correct people for him if he did the same for me. Really, it's easier, I feel safer, and I know I have support in that kind of a situation.

That's a good idea, have the friend correct the person, that way you don't have to feel uncomfortable correcting the person yourself.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 04, 2011, 10:02:17 PM
About 4'10

I don't mean to make you upset but I think your height may be the deal breaker. until you absolutely definitely looked like an adult male, I would either assume you are female or a primary school aged boy. if your doctor says your t levels are fine, then I suppose you do just have to be patient.

not everyone develops so fast, six months isnt that long, some people take a few years to fully pass