Well, basically i am a ftm transexual that likes to crossdress (into female clothes)
Though i plan to have full srs, and have horrible dysphoria and wish i could have the surgery tomorrow. I don't enjoy anything about having a female body right now. But for some reason..i like to crossdress sometimes. it's weird, almost like a different mindset I get into sometimes when feeling down. I will crossdress into some of my old female clothes i have (some sexy/cute stuff) like heels, skirt or short shorts, lingerie, nylons, and makeup.
i mean, i don't really know what i'm asking. but i just feel like it seems weird, especially since i'm a transguy, and one that can't stand my female 'parts'. does this mean anything? is any other ftm like this? am i just crazy? lol
also, i guess this just sorta came up since i randomly asked my mate if he likes crossdressing (i.e. seeing me crossdress, not him crossdressing). i know i'd brought it up before but forgot what his answer was or if i'd even gotten one. I really only wanted to ask so i know if he likes it or not, so if he didn't, then i wouldn't bring it up with him, and if he did, maybe he'd want some pictures or something. He seems kind of irritated, or atleast confused, saying i already am crossdressing (since i'm ftm, and wear guy's clothes normally). and don't get it wrong, he's totally on board that i am trans and everything else. I think it was more just the whole gender thing that can get confusing if you don't think about it just the right way. so i just wanted an answer, and told him that if it's easier, pretend i'm post-op and totally how i want to be and i crossdress into female clothes. after that, i don't really think i even got a straight answer still. he seemed kind of uneasy, and was saying how he didn't want someone else being attracted to me or something. but i told him it's not like i crossdress and go out, it's just private in my own room once in a while. so basically i still didn't get a straight answer, so not sure if he just doesn't like it and doesn't want to tell me, or if he's just preoccupied with all this other stuff related to it so can't give a straight answer. i think i just won't bring it up anymore until after srs or we are living together.
anyways, that's sort of just a side story, as i'm mainly wondering about myself and crossdressing.
also, i almost feel guilty when cd'ing, so i think of just go into a different state of mind and try to enjoy it. for some reason, and it sounds weird, but i feel more like a guy when i crossdress into female clothes.
any input?