Quote from: RomanAlexander on July 18, 2011, 10:13:25 PM
I know what you mean, I feel exactly the same way But I think that going through it the second time will be a lot less agonizing.

I feel the same way. I'm actually really excited for a second puberty, because this is the one that I've been waiting for

The worst part, undoubtedly, was the monthly curse. Just behind that, though, was that when I'd finally decided I didn't need T, because I was passing just fine and figured I could deal with the other crap on my own, my face started feminizing more, much to my horror. For those who aren't aware, around age 25, the female face begins to undergo a new round of feminization. In a mere 4 months or so, I went from passing 95% of the time to only about 30%. I went to the doctor and got my first T shot within 2 days.

Alek, remember guys slur words togetha, as in "Yawanna" insted of "Do you want" ,  which I found most women will say . Listen to how men talk and have a cassette recorder near by and practice it usin the privacy of you're own home . Send Me a P- M if you need to, I'm happy to help ALL Transgendered individuals ..... ellen

I felt like a ticking time bomb of testosterone and every second was leading closer and closer to me being more male. I hated thinking that my body was doing things that my mind didn't want to be done. Ugh, I hate testosterone. It's a nasty, nasty beast of a hormone (although I'm sure you trans-guys enjoy it ).

Hmm, I am not yet on HRT (So not sure if I qualify for this thread but Ill write something anyway  )

Physically the muscles (Not that many but I guess if you are TG you noticed every little blimp of your body, so), the facial hair, sex drive....and my latest addition *drumrolls*  chest hairs! Theyre still small and its not much yet, but its creeping up on me and I am getting fixated on it, thinking how long it will take before Ill have to shave them to just wear a unisex low cut top

So, I am having a fight with Testosterone, I am losing and  tired.

Mental- and Emotionally its my constant overanalyzing whether I would be able to pass, get used to my newly chosen name, whether I wont ever get the desire to get back to being 'male' . I dont know why I have these doubts or confusion buts it's getting worse the closer I get. And the strange thing is that my desire to start with HRT gets stronger aswell....so thats conflicting me a little.

The hardest part.... was watching my body turn into wrong gender and trying to conform to the gender everyone expected me to be. That led to a good chunk of my life of being miserable and hateful towards myself which impacted the ones I cared for.

I think the hardest part for me is finding an endo who wont break the bank.

estrogen induced misery and shame

(I'm still pre-HRT.)

Feminine curves (I call them dents) and huge hips. I'm hoping T will smooth this down a bit. :/
My voice doesn't bug me, it sounds male a lot of times. Uncle Flo is a minor annoyance.

facial hair
male sex drive
feeling like I'm living a lie every time I'm seen as male.

Periods.

Periods... Are horrible. Go see how many girls enjoy them. 

Everything else is tolerable. You can bind, or wear loose clothing, for the breasts. Curves are no problem either. Some bio-boys have high-pitched voices.. But periods are just horrible; the headaches, sleepiness, pain, messiness..

I am with you, Ribbons, they are the worst for me to deal with every month.  While I am having cramps I am constantly being reminded I have those internal parts.  At least after the first 2 days of leaking blood, I can get by usually with changing tampons twice a day.  I do wish my chest mounds were smaller and not be firm so they would flatten better, but it the monthly mess that is my hardest.

I'm still pre-HRT, actually. And the hardest part for me is honestly my Gottverdammt "monthly". And my voice, but I've been working on that. While I hate my chest, I'm lucky that I'm small and binders are super-effective. So yea, my "monthly". Especially since I use an STP packer, my biggest fear is being in a situation where I have to use a public restroom while I'm on my "monthly"... I have to use the stalls, and I don't feel comfortable sitting to pee...but I'm afraid I'll bleed on the floor or something... =A=
That and the obvious reasons. I describe my uterus as the foreigner that hates me...(ovarian cysts & endometriosis= more pain than breaking an arm). I'll be happy to be rid of it. ASAP.