hi guys, this is my first post.

(if you see random letters or backwards words, thats what happens when i do my nails by the computer and spill polish remover all over my7 laptop.) as you see, i'm not ftm, my boyfriend is though.. and i'm asking for help to ease his mind please.

so he opened up about something very private and scary to me last night for the first time. he'd like to know if his thoughts are "normal" or not, and seeing as though he has NO guy friends, bio or trans, i've come to you guys for support, as he is computer tarded.

a little background, he's 28, been on t for a year and a half and is strictly straight and always been. with that being said, his concern lately is hes found himself thinking about what it would be like to have a "real" penis. deeper than that though, he has no personal relationship with his own genitals, is uncomfortable at the thought of watching porn for fun due to being envious and for years any sexual talk made him very angry.
anyway, so hes been thinking more about it lately, and what hes thinking is.. since hes never been around a penis, he feels disconnected from himself even more cuz he knows nothing about what he should have. what he wants is, a non sexual interaction with a guy to kind of show him what its like to have one. what it looks like limp, medium, hard... but in a completely non sexual way. remember, he has NEVER seen one besides ONE time in a porn that he watched alone just to see if the feeling would go away of him "needing" to see one. obviously, it didnt. he feels very disgusting and ashamed for having thoughts like this and is wondering if anyone else has ever felt this same need. i'm sorry if this is confusing.

I know where he is coming from.

It's a weird feeling to feel the need to have something that you've never really seen or touched before.

The only time I've seen them in real life was when I was in high school at a party. Guys whipped theirs out to measure and fight about whether a cut or uncut one looked better. It was quite the party :/

Anyway, when I got use packers I often wonder if I am placing it right, if the bulge is too big or small. etc etc. I am not sure what advice to give him if he wants to see one in person if he has no cismales he is close to that know about him but I would suggest him looking into getting a ReelMagik prosethic perhaps?

If he can't bare to watch porn, what makes him think seeing one in the flesh will be any better?
I would start him off with pictures. Have him Google "erection photos" there is a soft hard gallery if you go to the right site. I'm assuming I can't post the link.
.... I'm sure someone on craigslist will show him their junk, but they are probably a creeper.

i dont think he can grasp the fact that he's okay the way he is. and i KNOW that's easy for me to say not being in the wrong body. and i also dont think that porn is unbearable because of anything other than if he and i were to watch it together that i must be thinking what our sex would be like if he had something "real". which i would never think, by the way. but again, it's not like i can judge the way he feels, i have to do my job and just understand. im not sure how much pictures will help, but what i thought was finding more natural porn, people that self make their own at home and masturbate on camera, ya know? a lot of times men will start soft and it shows the process of what it looks like from stage to stage. what do you think? something more 3d. and i agree, craigslist can be creepy. he looked there a few weeks ago, and he's naive to a lot of things so he was surprised at how many different types of people are interested in ftm's. and nothing fell into the category he was looking for. i think i have a friend who wouldnt mind showing him.. so we'll see. as long as the feeling hes talking about is "okay"? hes so ashamed.

I have felt the same exact way and almost even went as far as resorting to craigslist. Then I worried about being killed or rape by some creeper. So either your boyfriend and I are both really abnormal, or his thoughts are perfectly fine. I really wish that I had a guy friend to show me his. Sometimes (before T) I even have wondered if I could just play the part of a girl to hook up with a guy to see/feel one in real life. I eventually decided I just couldn't...I'm just not into that. I often find myself watching videos on xtube and youporn, but to be honest, it only makes things worse for me. Now I just REALLY want to touch one. I feel like a creeper too...but well, it's I guess a somewhat natural curiosity.

That's exactly what I needed to read. What other people wont understand is that its not sexual. He doesn't want to sexually please a man, or go as far as anything physically sexual at all. Its just curiosity. Thank you so much for replying.

http://www.erectionphotos.com/

it's a totally non sexual site that shows photos of limp and erect penises.

Quote from: hergie3 on August 17, 2011, 05:37:20 PM
im not sure how much pictures will help, but what i thought was finding more natural porn, people that self make their own at home and masturbate on camera, ya know? a lot of times men will start soft and it shows the process of what it looks like from stage to stage. what do you think? something more 3d.

For that, just Google 'XTube'.  It's the YouTube of amateur (natural, homemade, whatever you want to call it) porn.  There are all sorts of penis sizes, hard, soft, and in-between.  I think a video gives a better idea of how things look and work, compared to a photo.  I looked at XTube a lot when I was deciding what to do for bottom surgery.  I have never seen a penis 'in person,' so this was the next best thing.  I wanted to see what regular (and smaller than average) guys looked like, not just the ripped and hung guys found in professional porn.  There are also some trans guys showing off their growth.  You have to make an account, but it's free.

I'll second the recommendation for erectionphotos.com.  I also found this site very useful, and it's nice that the presentation has more of an academic slant, rather than being porn.  And frankly, the guys who have 1-2" penises make me feel like what I've got, while not average, is certainly within the realm of male possibility.

And your boyfriend isn't alone in being curious or wanting to see/touch a "factory-issue" penis and balls.  The thought has crossed my mind, and I considered asking a friend if I could examine his (he's the kind of guy who wouldn't be bothered by such a request).  But, in the end, I didn't ask.  He may not have found it terribly awkward, but I would have.  I was also worried about it bringing up feelings of jealousy or inadequacy on my part.  In the end, the internet satisfied enough of my curiosity.

The site Andy posted has been very helpful to me, especially the "Soft/Hard" section .

I think it's normal to be curious. If we had been born with this equipment, a lot of our memories and life experience would be different, just from that. We're missing those memories and experiences and trying to fill the gap, so to speak.

I have read stories of FTMs having a good friend or brother display their equipment for educational purposes. Nothing strange about it if both parties understand what they're doing and are ok with it.

Everyone has already helped so much.. I've relayed all of your information. Thank you. Every guys different, im just trying to be as supportive as possible. Sometimes its frustrating, feeling like his issues are more important than mine, but I deal. Im a lesbian, and learning how to be a good girlfriend to a straight man is hard at times. Im inexperienced in a lot if ways also. But there's a section for people like me on this site too so ill keep learning.