I totally agree with everyone here, its your life, and life is realtivtly short, so live it your way, and make your self happy, follow your heart. A lovely person on the inside, that projects that, is a beautiful person on the outside. Everyone has the potential and the actions to be either beautiful and or ugly and most of the time it does not have anything to do with "preceived" physical attractivness.
Also, beauty, size, its all relaitive. I'm 5'9'', and weigh 130 lbs, and have a size nine foot. I wish I had a size 5 foot, and was 5'4". I have a natal girlfriend that is 5'11" and weighs like 150lbs and wears a size 11, she wishes she were 5'9 and could wear a size 9 shoe. Its all a matter of prespective.
As far as transtion goes, don't think so far ahead, just take day by day, a step at a time and just let things work, soon your female self will be emerging and you won't even realize it, and when you look in the mirrior, you will be beautiful, regardless of what you used to think.
I think we have all felt the same things your are feeling. I once thought the same thing. But the HRT will work, and if you decide later there is FFS, but even with that, there is still the emotional and mental side of precption. So just take care of your mind and self now, and do whats right for you.
In the end you will be as beautiful as you want to be.
-pass-