Recently, I was faced with this dilemma. I was at a concert (My first time out in a skirt at a non-LGBTQ event). As I do not "pass" at all, I chose to use the men's room.

I was so uncomfortable - I zipped in and out.

Of course I used a stall but ugh how filthy it was!

I just felt like this was not my territory! I am so going to get a letter to cover any possibility of legal issues and use the women's whenever I am dressed in a skirt.

Quote from: Jamie Nicole on August 20, 2011, 11:55:59 PM
when it comes to transvestites, who do not identify as the opposite sex, which restroom should be used if and/or when in public? Same question for crossdressers?

I have a better question. Why do you keep bringing this up given it's really none of your concern.

Quote from: tekla on August 21, 2011, 11:05:44 AM
Actually, lots of clubs, particularly in big night club areas like NYC or SF, have taken all the doors off all the stalls on police orders.

Honestly if a club has had to remove the stall doors on police orders, that probably isn't a safe place to be anyway!

Quote from: Jamie Nicole on August 21, 2011, 02:16:45 PM
what the hell does ethics have anything to do with it? lol  unethical?  nobody is pointing fingers at anyone.  do CD/TV identify as the opposite sex?  No, they do not.  Do they live 24/7 as the opposite sex?  No, they do not. 
therefore, I, and many others, believe they should be using the restroom according to their sex and not their appearance.  If you argue otherwise, and you have, you might as well argue that anyone (non TG/TS/CD/TV included) should be able to use which ever restroom they want regardless of appearance.
I think you have a great misunderstanding of the FUNDAMENTAL difference between transsexual and transvestite/crossdresser!

Gotta love how she starts off asking a simple question, then uses her own tread, once again, to TELL other people how they ID.

Honestly, it's a bathroom.

I say use the one you're comfortable in. I work at a movie theater and although I pass as male most of the time I'm just so used to being in the women's that I go there. But I feel very uncomfortable doing so. So when I'm visiting my work (or working, since I'm not really out yet) I try to just plain avoid sexed restrooms. I use the family one. If it's full I wait (but if one of my coworkers is watching I use the ladies', even though I would rather not).

Soon I'm going to come out. I have to pass my citizenship test first. Then I can be *me* without worrying. And once I do I'll start using the men's. But that's going to be another month or so. =]

i guess id say whichever you pass more as. i mean if you look male even if you wear a dress, then i guess go to the mens for example?

being told youre in the wrong restroom though not illegal is still... well uncomfortable and annoying right so

This is just my own opinion. But if you (anyone...not pointing a finger to any particular person here), as a transsexual feel the need to put rules and regulations and feels so strongly about who pees in what bathroom then I think you have underlying prejudice issues that needs to be worked out.

It's just so ironic seeing transsexuals fighting over how CDs shouldn't use a woman's bathroom. I guess they totally forgot how we fought like hell to get the right to pee in a stall of our comfortability; and now given the right (in some states), we get this hard pressed ego to do the exact same damn thing the bigots did against us just recently and to this day.

Pretty messed up if you ask me.

As Annah has said in not so many words, y'all need to stop being such narrow minded elitists. We're all in this together, humans, the earth, life. Let's all hug, share some coco, and watch the FTMs try to write their names in the snow. 

Quote from: Annah on August 28, 2011, 01:20:07 AM
But if you (anyone...not pointing a finger to any particular person here), as a transsexual feel the need to put rules and regulations and feels so strongly about who pees in what bathroom then I think you have underlying prejudice issues that needs to be worked out.

It's just so ironic seeing transsexuals fighting over how CDs shouldn't use a woman's bathroom. I guess they totally forgot how we fought like hell to get the right to pee in a stall of our comfortability; and now given the right (in some states), we get this hard pressed ego to do the exact same damn thing the bigots did against us just recently and to this day.

Great point, Annah. It's like people transition and all of a sudden want to put up this velvet rope for people they feel are deserving of rights. I dunno, I think we should be more tolerant toward ALL people who get oppressed. People of color, different nationalities. Whatever. I'm with you!

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on August 28, 2011, 04:05:25 AM
Great point, Annah. It's like people transition and all of a sudden want to put up this velvet rope for people they feel are deserving of rights. I dunno, I think we should be more tolerant toward ALL people who get oppressed. People of color, different nationalities. Whatever. I'm with you!

I wish title 7 was exclusive instead of inclusive, and by exclusive I mean exclude nobody! :3

edit: For folks who aren't entirely familiar with Title VII of US Civil Rights Act of 1964

We regularly have a situation where the 'star' demands a private bathroom, or just wants to use the one that doesn't resemble a prison jail break like the backstage men's room at the Warfield does.  So we give them the woman's room, which is a lot nicer, and the men's room becomes unisex.  Everyone gets over it.

I don't give a flying fig who (of any gender ID) uses the same bathroom as me as long as I can do what I need to do and leave without incident.  My preference is to use the ladies' just because it is the "correct" one for the true me, but I would have no problem using a multi-stall unisex bathroom like the ones I've heard exist in some parts of some other countries as long as it was safe for me to do so. My biggest concern is "will somebody try to beat me to death against the sink if I use this bathroom?" If so, I evaluate my other options and choose the one involving the least risk to my health.

Of course, my clubbing days are behind me and, except for my current and hopefully soon to be former job, I generally don't have reason to go to the places where I am most likely to be at risk in the first place.

which restroom?

The one that is closest when you arrive at critical mass 

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 28, 2011, 08:35:43 AM
Women dont want men in the women's restroom, its pretty simple really. You know it is.

Of course it's simple.

Where the problem arises is: how some people here define women. What's sad to see is so many post op women on this board saying: -anything less than post op = man-.

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 28, 2011, 08:35:43 AM
Women dont want men in the women's restroom, its pretty simple really. You know it is.

That's the exact phrase conservative people and lawmakers say about us.

It's a shame when we start saying the exact same thing.

everything you stated in your conclusions is still the same thing society says against us as trans people.

There's a saying: "what's the difference between a Crossdresser and a Transsexual?"  The answer is three years.

Who are we to judge the thinkings of a particular crossdresser.

It's interesting how we change our values when we reach certain milestones in our gender expressions. It's also more interesting how quickly such a judged group of people can so easily do the same thing: judge back.

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 28, 2011, 11:25:55 AM
Yes, it is interesting that we all have opinions.

as does Michelle Bachmannk, Pat Roberston, and Michelle's husband who stated: "Homosexuals are barbarians who need to be educated and disciplined."

I'm definitely uncomfortable with the idea of a bloke in the women's washroom. However, the person's safety is more important than my comfort. A crossdresser, especially one who passes well, is going to be running a risk to their physical well being walking into the men's room.

We have a right to BE safe. We don't have a right to FEEL safe - especially not when that comes at the expense of ACTUAL safety for someone else.

I also used the men's for 27 years (well, excepting infancy) despite being a girl. I did this because I was presenting as a guy (crossdressing, in fact) and going into the women's would have been dangerous. Haven't most trans women done this? Entered men-only spaces? Seems vaguely hypocritical to complain about other people using a bathroom not associated with their gender.

This would all become a non-issue if unisex bathrooms (with full doors) became the norm.

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 28, 2011, 11:31:58 AM
As do millions of women around the world (desiring their restroom for their use).

Michelle Bachmann and many others would see you as a man in a dress who got a sex change but a man nevertheless. What would you say to her then?

If you were born in Ohio or Tennessee you cannot change your gender on your birth certificate. What would you say to them?

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 28, 2011, 11:37:04 AM
(sigh) Your making this to be about me, instead of those tens of millions of women who want their restroom.

I dont think this discussion is going anywhere other than a personal attack. I've been clear. I think we are done.

I'm not making this about you. You just happen to be against it and posting so I am posting back. Im comparing the ideologies of trans people who do not allow CDs into the bathroom of their gender presentation as the same as society who does the same against trans people.

The hypocrisy is so thick you can swim in it.