Okay this might be another one of those posts where I obsess over the wrong things.  Sorry if that's the case.  I just need to get this off my chest because it's bugging me.  This isn't really an FTM issue but I would rather vent on you guys than anyone else.

Right now I am very much into live action role playing with about 30 - 50 other people.  It's fun and I'm learning quite a bit about myself while doing it.  Now just like in any big social group people divide themselves into segments.  Based on interests and personality and, if you want to be cynical, social class and ethnicity. 

Now there are two or three main groups at least from my point of view.  One of them is laid back, basically accepting, some snarky humour but nothing terrible and just nice to be around.  The other is a big pile of jerks basically.  They think of themselves as better than everyone else in role playing and in life.  They even refer to themselves as 'THEY', with all capitals, expecting everyone to know who THEY are.  They are also loud and obnoxious and everything that happens they have an opinion on it.  There is probably another group that I'm not really aware of.  Then there are people who are in neither group and I'm sure they feel it.

Right now I don't belong to either one of these groups.  I'm on the fringes of both.  Of course I'd much rather be in the first group.  The problem is, the obnoxious group is 'courting' me for lack of a better word.  They are inviting me over to their parties, saving a place for me at restaurants and being super nice to me.  This is great ...  but the first group sees me hanging out with the second group.  They are starting to distant themselves from me and I don't like that at all.  I'm not sure why the second group is doing this.  Surely they can see I'm nothing like them.

I should say the first group is completely male and the second group is male with a Queen Bee and another girl.  The Queen Bee is referred to as psycho bitch by the first group with good reasons.  She will rain on the first groups parade every chance she gets.  Today I got very very enthusiastic text from her demanding to know if I will be at her party on Saturday.  We texted back and forth and I eventually asked just what did people think about me.  What did they saying about me.  Well she couldn't really answer and eventually said I was a rockstar.  Okay ...

So there's my dilemma?  This is before we even get into the game.  I never went to high school.  I'm aware this sounds like a plot out of a movie made in the eighties.  I am simplifying hugely but this is exactly what's happening.  I'm so fascinated with this whole social structure.  I just don't know how to function in it.  If I spurn the second group I'm positive it will come back and bite me in the ass hard. 

Oh I should say we are also in the middle of an election.  For a position of power within the club.  With one candidate from each group, wouldn't you know it.  I already voted for the representative from the first group ... but neither of them know that.  We aren't suppose to talk about that.

This is all so cliché I could die laughing.  If this reminds you of any films let me know.  Then give me advice on just how I am suppose to handle this! 

LoL It doesn't remind me of a movie..but the first thing that popped in my head when you said "Queen Bee" was Gossip Girl. A t.v. series that I am addicted to. It's so much like what you're talking about right now. There's the upper east side that are all the richy kids then there's the brooklyn side which are the not so rich kids. And there's a guy that's a part of both groups and him trying to balance his life being caught in both worlds. And you're right...

I see the second group you're talking about as the Upper East Side kids in this situation. When the guy in the middle would try and settle more into his own niche rather than melding in with them..he would get dumped on so hard from the Upper East Side "Queen Bee"...

I don't have any advice for you, sadly. I've never been in a situation like this. I was always the popular of the outcasts...but I don't envy your situation..

Let me ask one question though. If you were to go to parties from group two..would group one also respond with a jealousy? If not..then I would say go between both worlds till you know them and see which one you truly feel you fit in with best. That's what I would do anyway. But then I've never been one to pick sides. I am too greedy and have to be everywhere LoL

I want to be everywhere too ...    I never watched Gossip Girl but I've wanted too.  Yeah it seems you understand what I'm talking about.

The first group won't be jealous if I go to the second groups party.  They will however see me as someone siding with the enemy.  So they'll start to cancel me out.  Not out of jealousy.  Just because they can't be sure I won't run to the second group tattle-tailing.

The problem is I do have to make a choice.  The second group's acceptance is not real.  They want something from me.  The first group's acceptance is not secured.  I had to promise one of the guys I would never repeat what he said to anyone.  He literally got nervous. 

It's amazing how these hierarchies are presented and created.  Part of the problem is we have to be polite on the game site.  It's in the handbook and the handbook is God.  So plenty goes unsaid but it there in the subtext.  Outside the game we just continue with the same trend out of habit.  The party on Saturday might be different.

Back when I was in HS, and feeling all sorry for myself I confided to my spiritual adviser at the time that I felt that I really wasn't a part of any group, and that I really didn't fit in anywhere.  His simple reply was: Then you're free to go everywhere because it's all going to be the same for you.

well I'm not good at the whole social thing either.  But it seems to me that you like the first group better.  you are more like the first group.  You should be in the first group.

The second group may be the one that's inviting you in, but do you want to be in that group?  If you don't really want to, then don't.  Try to reach out to the first group.

Or you could try to be in both groups, or get the groups to get along better.  but idk what your chances of that happening are.