Hi FullMoon19
You mentioned at the start of this thread:
Quote from: FullMoon19 on September 06, 2011, 06:59:47 PMi have alot of trouble wrapping my head around many mtf here who put so much emphasis on having a vulva instead of a penis. even though i have a penis, i barely think about it, and i'm not the type who breaks down crying when i have to look at it in the shower. i just feel nothing about it. i don't like it, and i don't hate it. hrt was really the most important thing to me. as far as having a vagina for aesthetic reasons or feeling like more of a woman, well, i don't. exclusively, i feel like it's just the ideal for sex reasons, and that's it. the emphasis of having a vulva just makes me more mad because it keeps furthuring the idea that "you aren't really a woman until the penis comes off." that's just how i see it.
Before I had my surgery, I never placed any emphasis whatsoever on what my genitals were or for that matter of fact what they were going to become. Like you I never thought about them, never cried about it, did not hate them, never damaged them, because I knew they would be used when I had surgery. I was just indifferent towards them. I just lived my life, working and socialising with not a worry in the world. When I finally got my surgery letters, I just set a date for my surgery. So in a sense I'm just like you.
Yet what I have said flies in the face of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders which has five criteria that must be met before a diagnosis of gender identity disorder (302.85) can be given, namely and I quote, with my personal comments in bold on each:
Quote
- There must be evidence of a strong and persistent cross-gender identification. (Never was for me, I just lived my live as a female and people just saw me as a female)
- This cross-gender identification must not merely be a desire for any perceived cultural advantages of being the other sex.(I did not do it for cultural advantages)
- There must also be evidence of persistent discomfort about one's assigned sex or a sense of inappropriateness in the gender role of that sex. (Never had any discomfort, whatsoever)
- The individual must not have a concurrent physical intersex condition (e.g., androgen insensitivity syndrome or congenital adrenal hyperplasia). (I do not have these conditions as far as I know)
- There must be evidence of clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. (No distress, no impairment to my social life and I worked full time.)
I finally had my surgery and the only reason, why I ever had corrective surgery was, so that I could function as a female." I was born a female, have always been a female and always will be. Regardless of what my biological sex is, regardless of what the DSM or IDC10 says, regardless of what the SOC or WPATH said I had to do, because these documents are not perfect, although over time they will get better. I have never ever regretted my decision and I will always be internally grateful to my surgeon.
What ever anybody decides to do, if that makes you happy then do so with all your heart. Life is too short too worry about what other people think. That is not say you do not consider what advice or opinions they give, only you can judge whether they are relevant or not.
Take care and all the best for the future, whatever you decide to do.
Warmest regards
Sarah B