I met the school psychologist today, a new one. Talking to her made me realize something... I'm having SERIOUS trouble explaining my feelings of transsexualism to people. I tried, like she suggested, to imagine myself magically waking up as a girl and carrying on with daily life my life, and the only thing I could answer to her question, "what would transition change for you, concretely?" was "it's better, I have much more well-being, I am not complexed by my body anymore, I am able to have a love life", which was visibly not enough to convince her that:

1. Transition is necessary.
2. I am not idealizing the effects it will have.

But deep inside me, I know transition is necessary, not magic and I "know" how it will help. It's all just so much in the feeling department that I just can't put it into words. It's hard to explain. I know it's a poor comparison, but it feels like trying to explain what "blue" is.

So to try having a better speech, I will ask you. How do you reply to "why do you need transition?" and "what would transition change for you?" What concrete examples do you give? How do you word feelings?

Tomorrow, I will be seeing my physician in an attempt to get a prescription out of her, and I will need all the conviction power I can find, so please help.

I needed to transition to correct a sense of depression and emotional unwellness that I've endured since puberty. At this point, that's been 30 years.

What transition would do, and is currently doing, is making me whole. My body is being aligned with my sense of identity. My social transition has begun, albeit part-time, and already the affects are noticeable. I'm a much happier person now than before; this consistent happiness is an alien and wonderful thing.

That's how I would answer those questions. Does that help at all?

I actually think both of those questions are good ones to ask.  I will figure out how I would answer them later when I have time, just for another example.  I think it's important that you are honest and sincere in your answer, so your answer needs to come from you.  Not only that but you should probably be as confident and firm as you can manage.

Since you seem to be struggling with the right words, it may be good for you to hear how other people would respond, just to see if anything resonates.  Just make sure that whatever you say is really true.

Approximately the answers I gave when my GT asked me last November:

why do you need transition?

Because living in this body makes me miserable, and I feel wrong all the time. Because I feel like I am lying to everyone around me, which makes it hard to even want to spend time with people when they can never see who I really am. I feel trapped like this; it doesn't matter what I do with my life because no matter what I do nothing ever gets any better.

what would transition change for you?

It would help with the depression, I hope. It would make it possible to form honest relationships. But mostly, I would just finally get to be me - I wouldn't be stuck in this endless stasis any longer. I could get on with my life. I'm under no illusion that it will make everything perfect, that it will solve all my problems - hell, my migraines are not going anywhere - but it will give me a chance.


...But like Jen said, you really need to find your own answers.

Oh gosh, Sarah just said everything I was going to say and then some.  Saves some typing .

Quote from: Jen on September 12, 2011, 07:07:37 PM
Oh gosh, Sarah just said everything I was going to say and then some.  Saves some typing .

Pleased to be of service, my lady.

You could say....I just want to be myself, I don't want to play that men's role anymore, because that's what it is, a role.

Also you could ask her, if she waked up one day, looking in the mirror ans see a man's body and face, how would she handle that hell for the rest of her life?
Because that's exactly the hell you're living in right now.

Hope it works

hugs
Annette

When I was asked those questions... I answered a bit differently. I said something to the effect of...

"Hmm, what would transition change for me? That is a rather long answer. Well, obviously there will be a big shift in social expectations, and honestly I find a lot of the social steteotypes of gender rather annoying. Needing to wear clothing that is more tight fitting? Being judged more harshly on weight? Being expected to wear makeup? Wearing bras? Needing to take pills for the rest of my life and worry about health risks?Really, it seems like a big pain in the butt! And I'm not exactly thrilled about it...

For me, I need the hormones simply to help shift my body in a direction I can accept a bit better. Maybe I won't pass, I know that. And I know that dating will be ridiculously more difficult. I can work through those social hurdles... but I think transition is less about what others think, and more about how things are when you are alone in a room. When you look in a mirror and no one is around, how you view your body and yourself. Will hormones make me "the perfect girl in the perfect body"? Nope. But, maybe they will shift things in the right direction. Really, I don't have too much to lose... as far as I'm concerned, things can only get better."


Basically, you approach it from a rational and calm and completely realistic point of view. Hormones aren't turning you into a girl. Hormones aren't going to give you a brand new body. They are just going to MAYBE shift things in a direction you can be more comfortable with. Accept that you don't know if it will end up working in a drastic way, but you are ok with that and willing to see how it goes. Let them know that the body you are in now isn't making you happy...and the problems your body causes you (like for me, I talked a little bit about how I rarely date people and have very short relationships because I'm uncomfortable with how my body is... even though I have a very fit and nice body, for a male).

If you go in there and talk about how hormone are going to change everything and you will be happy and life will be amazing and you won't have to worry about anything... they will just think you are dilusional or have WAYYY too high of hopes for what hormones can actually do.

Go at it from a point of view that "well, I know hormones won't do everything... but maybe it will move things in the right direction".

If the doctors think you are mature and understand the reality of the sittuation, they are more likely to trust you aren't crazy and this isn't some misplaced focus.