I keep thinking about what if I had been born with the right body. And just for a split second I get this sense of relief, but then you realize that I wasn't. And I get really depressed. Just that, if I was I'd be able to focus on school and friends and what career I want.

Now it's just, "YOU'RE LIFE IS GONNA SUCK UNTIL YOU TURN 18. HAVE FUN." And even then I've already missed out on so much, that I'll never get. And I keep seeing bioguys that are much better at things that I do than me, and then I just feel even worse. Because otherwise I can think, oh well, I might be trans but at least I'm a really good guitar player. But then I realize there are much better, even younger biomale guitarists out there. And they just have it so much easier, and they can just take it all for granted.

So yeah, anybody have any advice on how to deal with everything?

Hard one.  I remember a quote from a Holocaust survivor that puts things into perspective for me.

"People disagree over whether a glass is half-full or half-empty.  I just give thanks that I have a glass."

What makes that really hit home for me is that I found out that my Mother's maternal Grandmother was Jewish, so I would be considered Jewish too.  I am glad I am here to suffer GID in the first place, you could say.

Until you are in a position to do something about it, just take care of the body you have, and enjoy what it can do.  The fitter you are, the easier recovery from surgery will be for a start.  That's something you can consider you are working towards.
Putting one over on the guys is something teenage girls like to do too, isn't it?  If they don't twig, more fool them!   If you can find a Best Female Friend to come out to, and confide in, you can start the process of learning all the things you have missed out on up until now.

We can't rush things, which on reflection is probably a good thing.

Karen. 

i used to think about that a lot but i got over it. i think everyone thinks 'why me' a lot in the beginning. i started to write a list of why im better then bio guys its not very long but it helps. i try to enjoy the little things in life, doesnt make it great but it helps.

I feel that way right now and all the time. I just shove the thought out of my head until I feel emotionally numb or I think of a happy memory.

I've always gone with the thought of being born in the right body...it just needed some tweeking.

This makes me feel a bit better sometimes:
Tim Minchin - Not Perfect

Do things that make you happy. Listen to "eff the world" music, I would recommend Foetus's song Anything (Viva!) for this. Remember that you are the best you there is. Nobody else can be as good a you as you are. You are one of a kind, the most limited edition there is. You consist of dying stars, of dinosaur teeth and butterflies. You are you.

I think most trans people have these thoughts.  I think about that a lot too. How much easier life would be if I was just born the right way.  Then I try to think about some positives. I know its hard.

I try to think about the fact that I wouldnt be the same person.  Being trans and all that goes along with it has played a huge part of shaping who I am, and I have no idea what type of person I would be otherwise. If I had actually been born with a male body,  I most likely would not have spent 16 years in dance classes and performing, and may not have the self confidence and public speaking/ presentation skills that I have today.  I may not have gotten into horseback riding and 4-H, and spent years working on a horse farm and learning the work ethic I have today.  I doubt it, since my brother is very accepting, but I may have grown up to be a homophobic closeminded a$$hole.  (maybe growing up with me as his 'lesbian sister' has helped him be so accepting of homosexuality...) 

I guess it helps me a bit to realize that I have no idea who the person I'm actually mourning for actually is, or what type of personality he would have.  And who knows, maybe I would have ended up being a faboulously flamboyant gay man, or a dragqueen, or crossdresser, or find myself wishing I had been born female.  I believe that the last part is possible considering I identify almost as much as an androgyne as I do an FTM.

I got the same problem,
and I dont have an answer,

I guess the only thing to do is to try look at the bright side find some positive effect on it,
I would say if I hadnt been trans I wouldnt have the knowlegde I got today,
I feel I got a very deep knowlegde of people and gender, and I am not sure if I would be that openminded if I wasnt trans.
also if I wasnt then I couldnt tell the diffrence between male and female the same way,
I feel it so funny/ridiculours when guys say "real men/women do... bla bla"
because seriously, how can you say whats a real man if you dont know whats a real women?

I think its very few people who got these knowlegde about the opposite sex, and what is rumours and what is actually true. for me I can tell it very easly because I know what the guys toilet are like and the girls,
I know how estrogene infect the body and testogen so on and so on.

If you'd been born with the "right" body, you wouldn't be you. You wouldn't have the experiences that have shaped you into the person you are today. I know that being trans has changed me. Having to fight off depression and anxiety worsened by GID has made me a stronger person, and I'm glad for it. It's hard to be thankful most of the time, I understand that utterly. But I wouldn't be me without trans-ness and all its related problems.

Reminds me of a line from a musical, The Fantasticks: "I am special. I am special! Please, God, please -- don't let me be normal!" 

i seem to remember from my childhood that i used to wish upon four leaf clovers that i'd wake up the next morning as a boy. but i never wished i was born with a "righter" body. the body i was born with is part of what made me the person i am now. i don't want my personality to be any different, i don't want my daughter to be unborn

right now i hope that earth will be invaded by aliens who have the technology to turn my body into what i want it to be like, but because that is unlikely to happen i'll just try and find another way to feel more comfortable in my own skin. the best possible situation for me would probably be as a shape-shifter so i could switch between the sexes as i want to, but i don't think anyone would call that a "right" human body