Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 10:33:47 PM
I can't imagine thinking it was just "the cherry on top." The idea is entirely foreign to me. If surgery wasn't available to correct the birth defect, I wouldn't have transitioned.

And for people such as myself, I transitioned knowing that in all likelihood I medically might never be able to "fix" what's in my pants. I NEEDED to transition socially not that I transitioned to be able to get GRS.
I do totally understand your point about it's more about what's not there than hating what is there. Makes sense.

I NEEDED FFS to make me feel at home with myself. I honestly feel like my GID is gone now. I hear about TS's having GRS before they have FFS or other stuff to really look more female and I can't fathom that. I'm thinking "What's the point in changing something very few people would ever see and not doing the things everyone will see including yourself on a daily basis?" You said you are mapped to have a vagina and it's f'd up that you don't. For me I feel I am a woman but to look in the mirror and see a guy looking back at me f's me up.

I could live without GRS but it would be nice to have. Honestly, mostly I would like to legally be female which is the wrong reason to do this. I'm not holding my breath that the religious right would ever allow someone like myself to be legally female without surgery... The whole "you're doing this so you can have a gay marriage.." I honestly would be fine if they left the requirement for GRS to marry a man, just let me legally be female in all the other respects.

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 11:11:24 PM

I don't want to risk the endless ID debate eating this thread. But let me at least express my sympathy that you have no accommodations where you live. That really ->-bleeped-<-ing sucks.

Well the ID debate seems to always be what happens. I hate it seems like the thing seems to always turn into some sort of either "I'm more trans than you" or "You should learn to accept yourself" type thing or something.. Like you said if we can all find our way to ending the GID feelings, then that's what matters! I may not share the exact same issues as someone else but I try to find a way to relate to how they feel.

But I am a bit lost on the "no accommodations where you live" part?

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 10:33:47 PM
That's not what I meant at all. My body is not a possession, it is an extension of myself - for a part of it to be missing, especially a part that is so intimate, so fundamental to my identity is... painful. I was just pointing out that it isn't only a dislike of what is currently there, it is a need for what is MEANT to be there. My mind is mapped to have a vagina, not having one ->-bleeped-<-s me up.

I can't imagine thinking it was just "the cherry on top." The idea is entirely foreign to me. If surgery wasn't available to correct the birth defect, I wouldn't have transitioned. I'd just be dead. To suggest that I am doing it for the "wrong reasons" seems very silly. I'm having the surgery in order to survive.

if it's what you need to do, do it. i'm really only concerned with what i need to do anyway. you made your original post in a question format, so i answered from my point of view.

Quote from: Sarah7 on September 18, 2011, 11:29:29 PM
Where I live, you can change the gender marker on every piece of ID except your birth certificate prior to surgery. And of course we have marriage equality, so the gender marker on the birth certificate really doesn't do anything. Not perfect, but at least it doesn't interfere with peoples' daily lives.

That would be great! For being a "free country" as the USA claims to be, I find my freedoms more and more limited as I venture away from married with 2.4 children "normal". What's sad is finding people in the trans community here supporting these restrictive regulations...

You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?

What about those of us who don't want srs?

Quote from: Mahsa the shark on September 19, 2011, 01:39:14 AM
You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?

What about those of us who don't want srs?

I'm sure someone will be along shortly with a pithy comment on how not wanting SRS means you are not a woman.. Which I don't think is entirely fair - can I get a subscription to the gender binary with that, please?

Where I live in Aus, the law has just been changed to enable Aus citizens to have a M, F or X (indeterminate) gender marker.. Only a letter from your specialist is required to change the marker.. With my passport, I can then change all sorts of other things..

Quote from: Mahsa the shark on September 19, 2011, 01:39:14 AM
You need to have srs to change your gender marker? Why?
What about those of us who don't want srs?

Good questions. In the US some seem to believe this invalidates their post-op "status" and seem not to care what negative impact this has on others..

But I'm sure a few of the binary gender crowd will be along in a moment to explain to us how we aren't women since we don't schedule regular gynecologist visits..

Let's take it easy here, people - there's no need to react to inflammatory statements that haven't even been made yet(!) and it would be great if we could have a discussion that didn't turn into a "who's a real woman, then?" bunfight.

Let's stay on topic, talk about our own experiences, and not judge (or prejudge) each others'.

  Hi, 
   I never did like my genitals,/// every time I got out of the shower I would put them between my legs/// also
  I was married to a beautiful women for 32  yrs/// I only which I was that women///
  Janis

Quote from: Stephe on September 19, 2011, 10:13:37 AM
Good questions. In the US some seem to believe this invalidates their post-op "status" and seem not to care what negative impact this has on others..

But I'm sure a few of the binary gender crowd will be along in a moment to explain to us how we aren't women since we don't schedule regular gynecologist visits..

This is entirely inflammatory and uncalled for.

Quote from: Steph on September 19, 2011, 10:36:21 AM
This is entirely inflammatory and uncalled for.

So Steph did you say this same thing to the people who made those statements to me? Just curious..

Seriously?  We're just going to ignore a request for civility?

locked!