I know, but I realy don't want to get the s___ kicked out of me. I don't like confrontation. This guy is really nice, and he has bought me things. Pretty things! It is awful tempting to continue to date him, but I really don't want to jepradize my life in the country until I have SRS. Better to be safe. I don't want to have to move from here for something stupid. I just hope I feel the same way after SRS about guys. Hope it is just a mental thing. So far I really like guys, and the attention they give me. Hope I have been a girl long enough to keep my sanity after I am complete.

Deb

That's the same dilemma I currently face.  I think I may try the upfront approach for now and if somebody accepts me, then I will be SO MUCH more comfortable.

Melissa

I understand! I just don't want the whole town where I live looking at me in a different light. I do have a reputation and business. As long as they think I am a woman I will continue to get their business. Business means money to get SRS. This is a mans world, atleast here. If I can dazzel them with feminity so be it. I will have to keep the harmonal urge for a man under rap for now. I am so torn up about this but I guess I do need to play it safe.
I can always go to my friend for comfort, but to be in a guys arms is just something.......well you know
special, wanted.
I am going nuts here enough

Deb

I understand your circumstances are different.  I was pretty much stating what *I* will probably try.  Half the people in my life already know I'm TS and that's only because I choose to let them know or they knew me beforehand.  I am not going to do anymore stealth than that until after SRS because of the dilemma.  Another dimension to this dilemma is the fact that if you tell somebody and they still want to be with you, will they be seeing you as a woman or a TS?

Melissa

Melissa you have been such a sweetie. Thank you for listening to me unload my case full of emotions. It has been a while since I have trusted anyone to talk to. My girl friend, and I talk all the time. I don't mean that in the boy/girl sense. She is a girl and is a deer friend. I have never been interested in girls except for mimicking them. I have never been interested in boys either until I started HRT.
I was called a ->-bleeped-<-,queer, amongst other terms when I was in my teens. When I was 21 I said enough was enough. I worked sooooooooo hard to look like a girl. I watched all of the television work-out shows for women and exersized just like they did to gain the look they were after.
I have gone it alone, but thought that was the only way I could make a clean break. I am not lonely. I have met a lot of nice poeple in town. I even ride my horse into town for a drink or two, and ride back out into the sunset. I can dream of a life with a man, but who knows what this life will bring.

Deb

No problem Deb.  I am still exploring this new facet in my life.  I used to be completely into women, but thing have been changing with HRT.  My interest in women has really waned and my interest in guys has really blossomed.  I've been with several guys since I went fulltime.  One was an FTM who knew I was TS and the rest were in stealth and I never ended up telling them.  I do like the stealth thing, because you *know* they see you completely as a woman, but I also realize that method probably won't get a relationship anywhere.  Right now I'm trying to find a guy who knows upfront I'm TS, but is straight and sees me as a woman.  I know, it's a real challenge.

Melissa

Quote from: debisl on February 27, 2007, 01:30:10 PM
I think it turns her on as well. He really thinks I am a girl. We made out all the way home and he still really dosent suspect anything. I am on HRT and the breast have really developed nicely. All he could do is play with them. I was really turned on as well. When do you tell someone what is up?

You put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation, making out with a guy who doesn't know you have a penis. I would never get physical with a man until I disclosed.

        I have been hanging around with guys for a long time and they are unpredictable and scary. Even the nicest guys can get angry and cause damage before he even thinks about.

   I`m glad you decided to hold off . We don`t want to read about you.
         Angie 

Deb,

I believe you have just 4 months to your SRS date.

Don't do anything stupid in the meantime.

As a pre-op you have to tell as soon as it goes beyond that first kiss as there is a huge danger of giving yourself away in intimate circumstances ... with all the dangers that have already been expressed.

As post-op it doesn't become that much easier ... sure you can get away with it until something from your past catches up ... at your age if it comes to talk about children ... why you don't menstruate ... why you need a weekly dilation ...

Post op I think you can form a really close relationship enabling you to judge the guy well, and wait to tell just before it gets to sex, or maybe soon after sex for the first time.

You really need to "hook" the guy before you reveal, as if you mention it too early on most guys will do a runner. But revealing too late into a relationship will make it look like you have been deceiving them and did not feel you could trust your partner.

Never revealing is just not an option other than for flings and short term relationships, and what if that short term relationship ends up looking like its going to go all the way to marriage ?

Laura x

Hey Deb,

I agree 100% with Laura, and that if you are serious about this relationship, then it's best to come right out with it and tell him, instead of being deceptive. I told my GF a month after where were getting serious that I'm a cross-dresser, and it's improved our relationship so much.

Gina 

Thanks girls
I have not seen the guy for a long time now. It was over shortly after I posted the info here. I am very close to SRS and I have been a good little girl. I have dated a guy, but he knows what I am. Best of all he dosn't have a clue as to where I live, and he lives far away in the big city. Good thing is, he is married. We got together through a friend. It is nothing serious, just a good time out. We do have a good time. It gives me a chance to release my emotions and sexual feelings.
Hopfuly after my surgery and I am healed up, I can enjoy things the way it was meant to be

Thank you all for being there for me

Deb