Quote from: nogoodnik on September 23, 2011, 06:56:09 PM
The main thing I worry about is I need a copy of his birth certificate to prove citizenship if I ever want to move back to where I was born — and I do — so I need to get that before I come out to him in case he cuts me off. However, my mother and I have both been asking for it for a year... he says he'll send it "soon"... it never happens.

Don't know what countries are involved, but you may be able to get an official copy of his Birth Certificate from his country of birth's Health dept or Bureau of Statistic, etc. Full name, birthday date, location and whatever government identifier applies. Go online and check it out. Funny, yester day I was going through some of my Mom's stuff helping her to get it organize and found copies of both of their birth certificates, took one of each, with Mom's permission of course.

Never met him.

I love my dad, but we've hardly talked since I was a kid.

He's a conservative southern baptist, and I think he knew I was different and he accepts it in some way, but his current family and community are a barrier to our really being open with one another.

I am incredibly grateful to him for teaching me to play sports and fight and chop firewood and such, even though I was a girl and not supposed to learn such things. He did love me, and he did try to do the right thing. He's just ignorant. I miss him, but I have no hard feelings.

I have a great relationship with my dad, a lot better than my mom. He doesn't know I'm trans but he's very open minded.

I wish I'd had a dad in the real sense. Maybe things would have been different, it wasn't his fault he was just very old. My family slag him off in public for being gay and illegitimate and that's just horrible and they have no factual proof it's just done to humiliate his memory and me.

my father was a piece of trash pedophile who did his best to get me killed it was because of his actions that i was homeless at 14 attacted by anouther pedophile and left for dead in a field  his trail of wrecked and ruined lifes is a long one and i hold him responcible for my mothers death as well
may he rot in hell
jessi

I love my Daddy!  We share alot of common interests and hobbies. He is a wonderful goodhearted man! I get most of my morals and values from him.  He is kind loving and faithful to my mom.  Always supported my brother,sister and me in whatever our hearts desired. He is the type of man that would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it! He is the most unselfish man I know, what his family wanted and needed came first before his own needs and wants.  A true family man! Treats my mom like his princess! I am not out to either of my parents, but I'm sure he would be supportive and loving! He is a bit homophobic and sees trans under the same umbrella for now, but we have been talking and he is beginning to understand and see the differences.  I still can't tell him though. I don't think my mom would understand, she's is extremely homophobic and wouldn't care to understand!My Daddy and I get along great and love spending time together when we can.(currently I live 5 hours away)

I like to describe any relationship I have with my father as tentative at best. He's a self serving, egotistical, chauvinistic pig who won't give anyone the time of day, unless they're the hookers off of Harry Hines.

He's an ex soldier, but neither a law abiding citizen nor an asset to this shaky nation. I'm told his excuse is that he was born and raised in the slums of Jamaica, but if that's his excuse for all the wrong he's done then he should be deported...Then perhaps stoned to death.

He's a cop, and used to spend his time harassing, arresting and publicly humiliating individuals of the LGBT community in the streets of Dallas, Texas. I know this, because when I was younger he brought me on ride alongs. He said the freaks were up to no good, I should watch 'daddy' in action.

Even if I wanted to, communication with this man on an intellectual level would be impossible. In one ear and out the other they say, but in this situation my words have no strength behind them to break the barrier through his first ear.

When I was thirteen I told him and my mother that I was gay. I told them that I was trapped in a body I couldn't leave. He sent me to a therapist. I ran away seven times, then he contemplated military school but never went through with it because that would mean spending some money.

After he cheated on my mother he lost any respect I had for him, which was minimal, I should mention. And after she left he fell so deep into a depression that he stopped doing everything. That I includes paying the bills to keep the house, feeding me, and making sure I went to school. After awhile he just stopped showing up altogether. He blamed me. So why not punish me, like I had 'punished' him.

I lived in my car for a year when the house flooded, and afterward moved into my own place. I don't see him much. And I'm glad I don't. I'd cut off his chubby, woman beating fingers and show him how a real man fights.

Aren't you just digging the love in this room?

I love my Dad and at the same time I'm a little aggravated by him. He's been a #1 supporter since I came out to him. However he doesnt communicate with me much anymore. I hear most of my news about him via his new wife on Facebook. He's seen me once in 11 years. And I feel replaced too because I have 3 step-sisters, all of them very pretty and he's been to see the one in Australia twice now. Why have a Daughter who used to be your son when you can have 3 lovely daughters I guess.

-_-

I was hammering on something today and remembered taking a forging class with my dad in my early teens.  When we started he gave me this "I can't believe you" look and joked that I hammer like a girl before showing me how to properly hold and swing a hammer.  I've been very appreciative that my brother and I got a very gender neutral upbringing.

I love my father because he's my dad. If he wasn't, though, I'm not so sure we would even have a relationship...He wasn't around often when I was a kid, and even when he was he was working and could hardly give me the time of day. We hardly shared interests. I loved video games, he loved reading, hiking, and watching movies. He also was and still is a very controlling person, but he's also incredibly lazy. He hasn't worked or even done bills or anything in the past 5 years or so, maybe a little less. He also has a tendency to treat people like crap, like he's always better than everyone else. It's no wonder my mother wanted a divorce from him. I honestly don't know how he has so many friends, since he treats them all like garbage.

That's another thing, my mother asked for a divorce a really long time ago. She can't exactly get her own money for it, because she stayed home to take care of the kids. She can't even work now that she has rheumatoid arthritis. Even when we had the money to afford a divorce, my dad didn't want to do it because it was "against his religion" or some such bull->-bleeped-<-. He instead spent money on things like cars and cameras. It's like he's a leech. Whenever anyone tries to get him to do anything he starts spouting ->-bleeped-<- about how he's being "abused" (like he even knows what it means to be abused). It doesn't help that he's bi-polar and refuses to take medicine for it.

All in all, my relationship with my dad is a rocky one. Sometimes we can get along, sometimes I want to murder him for the way he treats everyone. He's "tried" to have a relationship with me by putting me into things like Boyscouts (which I think he did more for himself than anything). I sometimes hate that I have a lot in common with him. We're both very savvy with technology and we both can get extremely focused on something, not to mention I can get easily angered like him which I hate.

I haven't come out to my dad yet, and I honestly have no clue how he would react. Sometimes I just don't care what he thinks. My mom recommended that I don't come out to him until I live in a different house than him, so I think I'll do that if I can last long enough.

My dad's ... ok. I guess.

We talk twice a year. He calls my on my birthday and I call him on his (which happens to be today!). I wouldn't say I dislike my dad, but we just don't have much of a relationship even though we do have a very similar personality, I guess we just grew apart over the years.

At the end of the day though, he is still my dad, and I do love him. I likely won't be putting off outing myself to him much longer either, but that's something I'd rather not do over the phone so I'm waiting until I get an opportunity to visit him.

My relationship with my father is okay...I feel really stifled around him because he's one of those presences that just imposes on you when he walks into a room. He's also very socially challenged? Like he says things that are thought f as socially unacceptable...not because he believes them or is trying to be hurtful, but because he doesn't see that what he's saying is really freaking weird. I have to act like his happy-go-lucky daughter when I'm around him because he always asks me what's wrong when I'm not that way...and when I get depressed he's really hard to deal with because he doesn't understand that you can't just "suck-iy-up" when you're depressed. I don't particularly like him, but we get along. My relationship with my mom is way worse though. She wasn't around a lot when I was a kid so I never really developed a relationship as a kid.

My dad and I use to talk all the time. Then I came out and that kind of fell apart last year. Told me I was out of the will, and leaving everything ot my sister and younger brother. Though he has been checking up on me more and more these past 3 months to make sure I am ok.  But I love my dad still. He is just a tad stubborn with me now.

Me and my father never got along and don't have any good memories of each other. He would always put the blame on me for something I never even did. Regardless if it had nothing to do with me, I was his scapegoat to everything..  He always liked my older sister tons more.. He used to tell me that I was failure and that I was mistake. I was stupid back then and believed him because  I was a child back then.  I think that may have started my long battle with depression at that point in time. Its been five years since I last saw him or spoke to him after he disowned me and the rest of my family disowned me.. Gotta love old traditional Asian families.. I don't hate him or like him regardless of whats happened. He is my father, but that doesn't mean I love him or hate him.

Being a person with what some may call a very odd view of family, I have to ask, "Which father?" I was raised by my mom and her mother.

My stepdad (my mom's ex-husband) has always been a nice guy. I'm getting a tattoo that reflects the simpler part of my childhood and his presence in it. Granted, most may think "Hakuna Matata" is a little silly to get a tattoo of, but it holds meaning for me. I've always known he was a pill-popper, but I never saw him high until last year. Really freaked me out. He's still really nice, though. He told me I was going to Hell when I told him there was a girl at school I liked (a few months before I found out I was trans) -- he's never mentioned it again, but I'm scared to come out to him, now.

My adoptive dad (my sister's bio-dad) has been in and out for a while. My earliest memories have him behind six inches of glass and in an orange jumpsuit. He knows I'm trans, he doesn't care. He's offered to help with my name change, under my insisted grounds that I pay. He's not a BAD person, he's just very, very immature (in my opinion). He wants to be a preacher, and having two atheist children is fun for him. We get along pretty well -- we just have vastly different interests.

My bio-dad, I've never met. I don't really want to. Not sure how he'd take it. It would be nice to meet his kids, though; I've always held siblings in the highest degree.

My father left our family when I was four. Which subsequently made my childhood what it was... It would have been a lot better if he were around. I have contacted him recently, and he knows everything now, and would have been a great person to have in my life.

Ah well.