its really hard for me to type this but i just want to get this all off my chest because i truly dont know how much longer i can take any of this.
i have horrible depression relating to my trans issues and have attempted suicide and was hospitilized a few times, i see a counsler regularly but nothing is changing or looking up. im in tacoma wa and i have found nothing to help me move along with my transition.. ive been living full time for years but due to the facial hair, depression etc have been in bed for 2 years not able to function as a human being.

i dont work i dont drive im homeless now and really have no support at all
i know i have so much potential and given the oppurtunity to succed i would.
i really dont know what to do any more and its getting harder to ask for help and being let down time and time again to the point where

i am planning my death no scene no calls no asking for help because it doesnt help the only thing it does is help keep myself alive in this ->-bleeped-<-ing misery. its so miserable and gets really tired hating yourself
i would just do it bymyself, quietly od on sleeping meds and write a letter expressing how serious these issues are and hopefully shining alight on to something that ppl may try to have a better understanding and hopefully learn from this

but im here trying again trying to fight for my life which i want to turn around so much i would do anything for the oppurtunity to be able to function like a human being

are there any options i have? i hate this so much i know what i great person i could be and this isn't me or my right state of mind but things keep getting worse and worse, even with trying all these things that are suppose to help me

i know the best chance would be to move to like ny i know there are trans shelters but how the hell am i suppose to do anything with no money, no car and one very little thread of hope.

thanks i guess and i really hate saying all of this but i cant sleep my life and put on a fake smile anymore because its getting worse and worse.. obviously im hiding these true intense horrible feelings that i am having that are very serious and not for attention or a cop out. im hoping that i can begin to find helpful answers instead of ppl pretending they cared after its too late.

the first thing you need to do is call someone a suicide hot line  a therapist 9 frigging 11 and get help you needto get your head on straight before you can even begin to make progress. do this now before the depression causes you to do something horrid that cant be taken back. worrie  about the rest later this first
please call someone
hugz jessi

Hey, I'm also from Tacoma.  Although I'm not trans, I can help you with stuff.  I'm also suffering from depression and I think I can help you with the depressionary stuff and other things.  And despite what you think, there are trans shelters in tacoma and seattle.  I'm wondering if you've called Oasis, if you of that age.   They can definitely help you with counseling, friendship and helping you find a home.  I would also get in contact with DSHS on 72nd and Portland who can also help you with food and shelter and all of that stuff.  If you need even more advice, private message me and I can help you out.

Quote from: sigmafan on September 25, 2011, 02:21:01 AM
Hey, I'm also from Tacoma.  Although I'm not trans, I can help you with stuff.  I'm also suffering from depression and I think I can help you with the depressionary stuff and other things.  And despite what you think, there are trans shelters in tacoma and seattle.  I'm wondering if you've called Oasis, if you of that age.   They can definitely help you with counseling, friendship and helping you find a home.  I would also get in contact with DSHS on 72nd and Portland who can also help you with food and shelter and all of that stuff.  If you need even more advice, private message me and I can help you out.

Bless you sigmanfan.. I do know that many today do want things but they do not want to work for them. I had to live many many years in male mode to be able to work and save to transition. I scrimped and saved and was able to do it all because i did work for 13 before i transitioned. It is beyond me why todays youth think they should be given all they need to transition. Oh well maybe i am just old school. hugs and i hope you do find help.

Hi,

I'm countries away but I'm always willing to listen and to talk. I may also be able to help out on a few things, I'll communicate privately about that.  No one can help the dead. We can all help the living. There are a lot of people here who are willing and able to love and help. Do not give in. You are loved, you are respected and you are wanted. We are your family and we want you to be part of it.

Hugs

Cindy

Quote from: Cindy James on September 25, 2011, 03:16:43 AM
Hi,

I'm countries away but I'm always willing to listen and to talk. I may also be able to help out on a few things, I'll communicate privately about that.  No one can help the dead. We can all help the living. There are a lot of people here who are willing and able to love and help. Do not give in. You are loved, you are respected and you are wanted. We are your family and we want you to be part of it.

Hugs

Cindy

Yes very very true.. forgive me if i was tough on you for my words.. I do care

If you are feeling like giving up, please contact Trevor Project first...1-866-488-7386

They also have live chat at their website
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/contactus

http://www.lovesetfreeproject.org/consultants/free-food-and-shelter-list-nationwide/

THIS IS A SUPER LARGE SITE WITH A GIANT LIST OF WOMENS HELP IN YOUR TACOMA SEATTLE AREA = here is a site with help from women in your area.. call them all.. http://www.lrc.net/online.html

PS: You don't have to be a lesbian to get help

tsintacoma, please let us know if the recommendations are working for you.

I'm not from Tacoma, but I am always here for a chat if you want. Survived depression and suicidal thoughts before; it was beyond rock bottom. Looking back, I see so many things I've achieved since then: fun times, life-changing experiences, and a solid mood. But I realise that these are impossible to see in the dark.

To travel to a shelter in Tacoma, you would need money for public transport. Begging is one option. Busking is another - playing a makeshift instrument, e.g. percussion with your immediate surroundings. Another one is looking on the floor in public places for lost change (fast food restaurants near the till, toilets, outside bus or train stations) - this worked for me when I ran away. There are more risky options which I think you'll have considered... up to you.

Please let me know if I can be of any help. I'm not sure if anything I've said was worthwhile, but I hope you get your answer. PM or email me - I check every day.

Hang in there,


Blake

i pray we have not lost her before her light could even shine its been a couple of days since i caught this thread accidentally i hope she is still alive
jessi