Quote from: kael on October 13, 2011, 03:13:57 AM
Urg. Quick opinions and generalizations. Let's please not start a fight. Sometimes we speak too freely. I think we can all find a way to respect one another.

Sorry everyone, just going through alot at the moment so im a bit all over the place... im not generally so argumentative, honestly.

Quote from: Monster on October 13, 2011, 02:45:30 AM

I cannot believe I'm hearing this in a FTM thread!! I dunno about anyone else but this Adam Ant persons opinions actually repulses me!
When did I ever say I shud get whatever I want? I was merely pointing out that the poor lad has the right to attend his bro's wedding feeling like a man in a suit rather then a man in a dress, also that no one shud make him feel guilty for wanting to do so!

You flew off the handle at Debbie first off, who also had a valid opinion. But apparently to you, Debbie and I have no right to voice our opinions because it differs from yours. Therefore, you're not getting what you want to hear. If you can't handle other people having an opposing viewpoint, then you're going to stay angry in life.

I would say you probably missed the other two main points I was making in my response. I'll reiterate them for you: #1 - no one can change who you are. #2 - If wearing something you don't normally wear for a day of your life tears down your whole identity then you should try to go back to point #1 and re-evaluate the way you're looking at some things.

Also, it's SHOULD - not shud.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on October 13, 2011, 02:54:33 PM
You flew off the handle at Debbie first off, who also had a valid opinion. But apparently to you, Debbie and I have no right to voice our opinions because it differs from yours. Therefore, you're not getting what you want to hear. If you can't handle other people having an opposing viewpoint, then you're going to stay angry in life.

I would say you probably missed the other two main points I was making in my response. I'll reiterate them for you: #1 - no one can change who you are. #2 - If wearing something you don't normally wear for a day of your life tears down your whole identity then you should try to go back to point #1 and re-evaluate the way you're looking at some things.

Also, it's SHOULD - not shud.

Obviously YOU didnt read my apology i just did!! so u can get off ur high horse! and thanks for pointing out my dyslexia.. CHEERS!!

Quote from: Monster on October 13, 2011, 02:51:41 PM
Sorry everyone, just going through alot at the moment so im a bit all over the place... im not generally so argumentative, honestly.

Quote
Obviously YOU didnt read my apology i just did!! so u can get off ur high horse! and thanks for pointing out my dyslexia.. CHEERS!!

Everyone has their off days - and many of these topics are highly emotional to a lot of us. I've already "been there, done that" with a lot of things that people discuss on here and I've developed some unique viewpoints over the years. What I said in my original response wasn't meant to be a diss - simply to get some people to stop and think. I've learned over the years that simply changing my perspective could make a world of difference on many subjects. I've also spent a good amount of years being that guy who fought against every little thing because I was stubborn and self-righteous - trying to make everyone see it my way. I'll tell you from experience that really is detrimental.

And it seems from your latest response, you've got a ways to go. I'm not on a high horse, I just happen to have an a different view point. When you're having a less petulant day, feel free to pm me and I'd be happy to talk to you about anything you want.

I'm aware of what Dyslexia is. You seemed to spell other stuff just fine.

im sorry but ur still very self righteous in my opinion and very insulting..

I'm going to back away from whatever else is being hashed out, but we really shouldn't get onto each other about spelling. I'm literate, and I misspell things. It happens.

Quote from: kael on October 13, 2011, 10:45:59 PM
I'm going to back away from whatever else is being hashed out, but we really shouldn't get onto each other about spelling. I'm literate, and I misspell things. It happens.

Sorry ... seeing it over and over was just making me cringe. Personal pet peeve.

*backs away slowly*  So, umm, who thinks it's too soon for a Footloose remake? 

In all seriousness, I hope we were all somewhat helpful to the OP, who has so far not replied, as far as I can tell.   

I replied once (on the first page). Sorry for lack of response, though. Lots going on at the moment.

All the different responses and answers were really helpful and I appreciate them all.  It gave me a lot to think on, and helped me put together exactly what I should do.

Also, please, no fighting. None. At all. There is no reason to fight or argue. Everyone has their own opinions, and as far as any typing errors or whatever, no one is perfect, and everyone types differently. If anyone insists upon fighting, then leave, just get out of this thread because I don't want to see it. (Fighting amongst friends... that's just not cool, you guys.)

I personally think he just wants me to wear it so he can prove something (What that may be, I haven't the slightest idea), but I am not going to do it. I actually sent him a message saying that I need to speak with him on some very important matters, so that's gonna happen soon.I plan on explaining everything I can in a way he will understand, and if he refuses to accept it, then so be it. I will not go out of my way anymore.

What I originally posted though, got me thinking. If he feels he needs to tell people about me, who else has he told? How many people has he introduced me to that he has told this bit of information to? How many potential friends or acquaintances have I lost because he said something to them? How many times has he completely messed up someone's opinion of me?

I suppose that bit's to be worried about another day though. It just has been bothering me since I started really thinking on it all last night.

People I told told way too many people, way too quickly, and without much sensitivity or tact. Hopefully that isn't happening. Good luck.

Quote from: Andy8715 on October 13, 2011, 11:40:39 AM
If I were you I would do what I personally do when I'm around family that I'm not out to, though I am sure they know something is up seeing as how I lack visible breasts, have a male voice, and facial hair.  I wear what I want to, men's dress clothes, but I let them call me my birth name (which I answer to at these functions) and female pronouns.  It's hard on me somewhat but at least I can wear what I want.

Seeing as how you look/sound like a guy now, wouldn't it be pretty easy for them to call you "he"?  Maybe they're just waiting for you to tell them to?
I just bet that must be real weird for them.  they probably know, but are like waiting for you to tell them, or something.

I figure it's best not to upset my mother (she's at these functions).  Take today for instance.  It's my birthday.  Thursday was my grandfather's birthday.  So we all went to the nursing home for a little party.  Me, my sister, my brother, my mom, my cousin and her two sons, my mom's cousin, her daughter and grandson.  They sang happy birthday to me.  Everyone said my birth name except for my sister, she said Andy.  My mom gave her a little look but that was it.  I don't think I really need to tell them.  IDK I don't know most of the people who are at things like that I go to, which is only about once a year, eventually I'll show up and it'll be like dude D's daughter is a dude, and they'll just know.  Some people I want to tell soon I just feel so weird.

Quote from: Andy8715 on October 15, 2011, 07:03:27 PM
I figure it's best not to upset my mother (she's at these functions).  Take today for instance.  It's my birthday.  Thursday was my grandfather's birthday.  So we all went to the nursing home for a little party.  Me, my sister, my brother, my mom, my cousin and her two sons, my mom's cousin, her daughter and grandson.  They sang happy birthday to me.  Everyone said my birth name except for my sister, she said Andy.  My mom gave her a little look but that was it.  I don't think I really need to tell them.  IDK I don't know most of the people who are at things like that I go to, which is only about once a year, eventually I'll show up and it'll be like dude D's daughter is a dude, and they'll just know.  Some people I want to tell soon I just feel so weird.

I kind of feel the same with my mom actually. I feel like it's better to just not upset her. I'm ok with letting her go through life thinking of me a certain way, it doesn't change who I am. My dad has never treated me like a female, but does call me my given name. But I've never said anything to the contrary either. Some may think that's a weak thing on my part - that I'm not as strong as some of the people who come out to their family and everyone else at any cost, but I actually put my family before me simply because I didn't want to ruin it for them. I didn't want to cause drama and everything else. My mom would not take something like this well. And I was older anyway - had long since moved out and it just didn't make any difference if my mom still thought of me a certain way.