Well, thankfuly no one is killing themselves or killing someone this time.

Anyway, I present le plan to have my mother begin to accept me.

She is a caregiver to my father and her two sisters, who are both fairly old. So she can't travel much to visit me. I will ask her, in the event I manage to talk with her alone without my father on the phone, to come over and visit me. That way, it will be only I and her, and we will be able to (hopefuly) start some daughter and mother relationship.

It could also fail horribly if she has another psychotic episode right here at my plac. I can't forget she had a outburst exactly because of my transition, but well, she is my mother and is so important to me, I feel it is worth this risk. I want to bring her back into me life.

She has told me she loves me over the phone, and even if she still calls me a son, if she sees I am full time, it will be the beginning of acceptance. From a logical non-psychotical POV.

I hope everything works out well.

Good luck!

Well.

I guess this ins't a good plan to follow at all. I had a conversation with her earlier, and she said she was willing to come by and visit me. But only I after I asked her a lot to. She is a caregiver and is afraid in the event she leaves something happens to the people she cares for. I on another hand, mentioned if she never came over to visit, she was in practice not participating in my life. Talking over the phone is not enough!

However, she likes to greet people and introduce me. She always did this. So I asked her how she would introduce me in the event, and she said she would introduce me as her "transsex son". Fairly humiliating considering I am full time.

Her thoughts are that I am a man, that god makes people perfect and would have not made this mistake, and that someone has put these thoughts inside my head. More specifically she blames my psychiatrist.

So given all this context and her previous psychotic episode, I think it is better she doesn't comes over to visit. It hurts, it bites and I am hating this rejection from both my parents.

I think she should. For me if my family continued to refer to me as male, I would find it terribly annoying yes, but I'd still want to be close to them.

Plus the psychotic episode was from announcing it to her, it's not just a random thing. At least she's trying.

Quote from: Bird on October 13, 2011, 07:45:26 PM
Her thoughts are that I am a man, that god makes people perfect and would have not made this mistake.

Why do people think like that? There's so many things wrong in the world. If God didn't make a mistake, he did it on purpose.

@Trista

I'm considering having her here anyway.. I just don't know if I am ready for it.

Kay fine, they called me later tonight. We keep in touch through the phone a lot.

It was the usual conversation, then my dad asked if I was going to come over for xmas. I said I thought so, though I won't be in my holidays because med school is insane like that. Then he said both him and her would come over if I didn't.

I am scared at that prospect, not because they are unnacepting but because they are aggressive. Following, I asked if they would feel well if they did come over, and they know why I asked it, because I am FT and because I'm a woman, not a boy. My mother then increased her tone of voice, saying in a fairly aggressive manner "Of course we will feel well? Why wouldn't we? I always did! And tell you what, once I go there I will visit your hospital!"

I asked what for and she said she would just go there to talk with the doctors. I told her they don't let just anyone in, you need to work there, be a patient or know someone who is a patient and come over to visit. Upon this, she changed topics suddenly and said I should stop threatning and embarassing her.

My voice was VERY calm and low (and girly thank god, heheh). Matter of fact I was scared ->-bleeped-<-less of her. Anyway, I was anything but threatning.

I told her I never threat her, though she does it often to me. Upon this, she said she wanted to see her son at xmas, her son <guy name>, who is a manly man. She put a lot of emphasis on manly man. I was afraid to push her, and I just said I prefered to find a way to go over to xmas than have her come here.

Truthfuly, I'd rather have her lose control at home than come here and be aggressive with me. In addition, if things turn very humiliating I can just wait the holidays out then come back, where if she is here she will stay for as long a she wants to.

You know what

Looking at this from a pratical POV, it may be better that I go to xmas in guy clothes. That way at least I won't set off some family ruckus that will lead them to cut off my financial support.