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more male appearance driving off straight ftm boyfriend :(

Started by Kayden-Turner, October 16, 2011, 12:34:44 PM

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Kayden-Turner

Well, I don't really know why I'm posting here, I guess just to complain  ???

Basically, I've recently  noticed my (FTM, though it's not important) boyfriend pulling away from me.

And it's been happening JUST since I started binding and presenting more stereotypically male.

So I think I'm driving him away by doing this. I hope to talk to him today about it, but I'd like some advice from you guys. Do you think I should start dressing/presenting/acting cisgendered (female) again? Or should I just let the breakup happen and keep exploring my gender identity? ???

--Kayden
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Sevan

I definitly don't think you should present in a way that doesn't make you feel good. However I do encourage you to not make assumptions about how your boyfriend is feeling. A conversation is a great idea but make sure you remain open to what he has to say as much as you hope for him to remain open to what you have to day. Perhaps he's pulling away just from the change and isn't sure what to make of t. Maybe he's lastly his own expierience onto what your doing and is assuming you FtM rather than androgyn. It can be really hard for even other trans folk to understand and accept androgyn identity (in a similar way that LG folks have some difficulty understanding bi sexuality sometimes)
Give him some space, be open about where you want to go with your identity and it is possible that he's not going to be accepting about it due to what he's attracted to. Though, he may surprise you and making sure to be gentle in your words can help to pave a way forward...if there is to be a way forward.
Best of luck to you bud! Both in your relationship and your gender exploration.
I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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