Quote from: FairyGirl on December 29, 2010, 06:07:09 PM

He's strong and hard, and I am soft and wet; he pushes and I submit; he takes my very breath, and I can only sigh.

He's large and I am so small; he enters me and I feel him deeply;  he penetrates me and I relax and yield, opening myself fully to him.

And as we lie there moving together, This symbol of my eternal commitment and I,  he reminds me I am whole ~ so even when it hurts, I smile.

Speaking of my dilator, of course

Interesting; if I had to gender my dilators, they'd be female - despite the fact that I'm straight.

At nearly 8 months post op, I just tried the large, #4 dilator, for the first time last night. I'll admit that I was intimidated by it for a while. Also, when things were healing more and skin was tightening, #3 was bad enough I wasn't quite willing to experience more pain and discomfort with #4. I finally decided that if I paid for the darn thing I might as well try it at least once. Well, to my surprise, even though it took my breath away at first, it wasn't all that bad. Time has definitely made things more elastic down there, so I will be adding #4 to my dilation routine. At this point I dilate once ever two to three days, rarely every day. I also may differ from some in that I use every dilator, starting smallest to largest, for about 10 minutes each to ensure I maintain depth and it just seems easier to work my way up rather than starting off with something larger, this was especially true earlier in the game. I was very pleasantly surprised how well that went last night. I recall when I went to #3 for the first time it was no fun at all! This was actually pretty good.

Kat

I know it's been a long time but I guess this thread is overdue for an update.

At more than 11 months post-op it's pretty much closed now. I can't fit anything much larger than approximately the diameter of a pencil. On the bright side, I seem to not have lost any depth since August. Going to try to go back for a revision as soon as funds allow.

And yes, I did the 2-3x/day stirring for 15 minutes & made it hurt, but the hard tissue still formed anyway. I should have made it hurt more, should have persisted with the medium dilator, should not have been afraid of tearing something because I guess that happens sometimes. I might still have closed up but at least it would have taken longer.

Quote from: Audrey on December 27, 2010, 07:58:06 AMA friend of mine turned me onto the idea of the plastic applicators filled with lube, that helped immensely, as well as having the dilator in a hot glass of water.  The warmth helps relax the muscle and with the lube applicator dilating is alot easier.

Awesome advice - wish I'd thought of that!!! 

Quote from: Dàwkbua on February 15, 2011, 07:54:41 PM
I know it's been a long time but I guess this thread is overdue for an update.

At more than 11 months post-op it's pretty much closed now. I can't fit anything much larger than approximately the diameter of a pencil. On the bright side, I seem to not have lost any depth since August. Going to try to go back for a revision as soon as funds allow.

And yes, I did the 2-3x/day stirring for 15 minutes & made it hurt, but the hard tissue still formed anyway. I should have made it hurt more, should have persisted with the medium dilator, should not have been afraid of tearing something because I guess that happens sometimes. I might still have closed up but at least it would have taken longer.
Awesome advice - wish I'd thought of that!!! 

I'm sorry Dawkbua.  I really hope that you get the funds required and have this revised.

Take care.

Wow Dàwkbua,

I'm sorry to hear about what's happened since your last update. I wondered what had happened since I saw you hadn't been on since September. Your post here makes me think long and hard about choosing Dr. Suporn. I realize he's had hundreds of very satisfied patients, and every surgeon has a case that doesn't go very well, but I probably wouldn't be able to head right back to Thailand if I were in your situation. I'm seriously now considering going to a US surgeon just so I know I am close enough if I need to be. Have you had a consultation with a US surgeon to find out what they can do?

I can't afford a consultation. Though I did see a gynecological surgeon here and he said he wouldn't dare attempt to fix me up. I guess it's just as well since he definitely had no idea what Dr Suporn did. He mostly seemed to not want to have to deal with me at all.

I'm not sure where you are located, but I know a lot of the surgeon's do consultations pretty inexpensively. Something like $50? Of course if you aren't close travel has to be factored in but I hope you are able to find out sometime soon!

One of the ladies in our trans group the other day talked about how she was shown incorrectly how to dilate and she ended up not putting them in as far as she could. What ended up happening is that her vaginal canal at the very deepest part contracted to the point where she couldn't even quite put her finger in. After having trouble getting an appointment with her surgeon, she ended up seeing Dr. McGinn in New Hope, PA.

After consulting with her for an hour or so, Dr. McGinn pulled out some very skinny dilators and recommended she try those to gently work an increase in her width. So she she started with the smallest one and was eventually able to recover full width over the whole length of her vaginal canal. She brought the dilators to show the group. She had the standard four from small to frighteningly large and then another set of two skinny ones.

She got the dilators from soul source:

http://www.soulsourceenterprises.com/html/products_grs.html

Apparently, she said they don't list them on the site. You should call them directly. I am out of my direct experience here, so YMMV, but I would call Dr. McGinn's office or at least call soul source. Hope that helps.

http://www.transgenderzone.com/library/ae/fulltext/29.htm

This explains, in detail, dilation.

If you stop then you are very foolhardy. We all started in a great deal of pain but you just have to suck it up and deal with it its a medical wound after all.                                                                                                              It gets much easier though I was hooked on pain killers for three months but I got over it now I take none I had also lost depth lots of it and width so I went with a smaller dilator then over time larger and larger and gained width I never had before. Just keep at it but you are just defeating you self atm. .....there is hope dee I can assure you.

They told me not to downsize below the smallest dilator I was provided with (of course they told me this much too late....) but your mileage may vary since you went to a different surgeon than I did.

Quote from: Dàwkbua on March 12, 2011, 10:54:01 AM
They told me not to downsize below the smallest dilator I was provided with (of course they told me this much too late....) but your mileage may vary since you went to a different surgeon than I did.

Hey girl its been 8 months since this post and wonder how your doing now, if you fixed problem with width or whats happend?

Quote from: mmelny on August 23, 2010, 07:17:38 PM
Hi Dàwkbua,

Can I ask, what prevented you from dilating?  Was it pain?  Discomfort?

I just ask because I went through a really bad time at about 2.5 - 4.5 months in, but managed to fight through it.  It was painful, discomforting, and even bloody.   I managed to get my (sympathetic) local doc to give me pain pills for dilations through month 4, and it was needed.   But the key was to fight through it, at least in my case.   

I have no idea what you are experiencing, I can only relate my experience.  I sent Sophie a few desperate emails, and her responses got me through it.  I think the best was the picture of the scar ring, and I just knew that I had to focus on that when it was to hard to 'chew' through it, even with the smallest dilator.  Like Birdy related, I can remember spending 6-10 minutes just to break through that scar ring.. it was tight, and I really thought I was messed up, that it was so hard to get through, sometimes thinking I never would.  I had a few dilations where I would give up, but I would get right back to it ...  because I knew it HAD to be done.

I wish you the best of luck, and all of my best wishes are with you.  I am not telling you to push yourself on your dilations, because I'm no doctor and I don't want you to hurt yourself, but I know that I pushed to a point at times, both in the stirring lateral motions, as well as depth-wise, that I wondered if I weren't doing something wrong, because it HURT so much.  The depth dilation was at times, like pushing right into my bowel, and it felt, so horrid.  I would bleed when I stirred hard for the width exercises, but holding the dilator in, and still for a bit of time (the manual tells you to do this), the bleeding would stop quickly.  This whole regimen is extremely hard, and no manual, or clinic girls can prepare you (or well, me) for what happens when you get home and are faced with this thing on your own.  Not truly. 

Ultimately you HAVE to listen to Sophie.  She has the experience.  She's been through this with hundreds of women.  She is your link.  Trust her, and follow her guidance.  I doubted her at times, but I read her emails over and over, and just followed them, she really does know what she is talking about.  She did spend the time to answer my questions and issues.

One thing I noted from something you said in a previous post in this thread, ask Sophie directly about the 15 minute limit you cited earlier.   I've never dilated for only 15 minutes.  My dilations last from 35-60 minutes, even now, at 7 months post op.   I only do one every day or two now, but I always make it a long one, just out of practice.   Even when I was dilating 2-3 times a day, I was doing at least  45 minutes each.   

My thoughts are with you, and I hope you can persevere and get through this without additional surgery.

*huggs*,
Melan

Hey girl, i was wondering how your depth and width ended up, and if your happy with your suporn result or still having pain and trouble, thanks,

Quote from: 999 on November 10, 2010, 08:16:56 AM
Dàwkbua, If you are still there I want you to know I also had Suporn as my surgeon and face the same problems as you are. I am happy with my aesthetic and sensation but like you my depth wouldn't keep despite my efforts to dilate as recommended.  I had granulation and very powerful contractions probably due to my young age, and had to take 2 Vicodin just to stomach a dilation session. I dilated longer, and more vigorously than recommended and yet I still continued losing width and depth. After about the 7th panic attack since I got home (about the third month in) I had to stop for my own mental sanity (and my poor boyfriend's), and within a weeks it had sealed up completely. I don't believe any amount of stretching will help at this point and have accepted that I either will not have penetration or will need a colon transplant revision.

I was also blamed for not doing my sessions right, and wonder if I made the right surgeon choice looking back. I still think my priority is sensation and appearance, which Suporn was best at, but I believe he misrepresents his depth and doesn't stress how crucial and problematic dilation is with his skin graft technique until AFTER its over. I think we owe it to the community to get the word out that his surgery can lead to this kind of outcome for some of his patients.

Hy girl i was wondering how you are doing now with width and depth if your still having issues,

Yes, it be interesting to know for me too.

A tg friend had colon-section ~ 5 month ago and was NEVER told to dilate... hear. hear! - And didn't.

She can not even fit her little finger inside the entrance by now.
I have actually seen the closed up vj --- amazing! Maybe 8mm diameter entry, after such a short time and no dilating!

So, it be interesting to know if this may be reversed with diligent dilating starting with 3/8" or even less, say 5/16".

Axelle

Her followup is in the SRS forum.

Help please, blond, can't find.

Thanks,
A

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet as there's now too many pages to read through, however have you tried graduating the stents? First work with the smallest you can get in there and dilate, then after your dilating time is up, slip the next size up in if you can. It should be easier to get in. Once you have that one in try dilating with that one first and then the next sized one for a while until you can get in the larger one on it's one. Eventually graduate up again using the same method to get to that one.

Thanks for the link, I read it. What a painful thing it was. I wonder how it does right now.

I'm of course also thinking of my gf that had her op with SBAH in SA.
Also just pencil size she is at present.
Will she go through the same? Oh my.

I been with her when she had her second of three ops (colon-section) and THAT was bad.
Vomiting for one week and pain killers for breakfast, lunch and dinner... not nice to see.

Just a bit rattled now I read this all, after my op was thankfully so eventless other the 3rd (wall papering) op a 9 - 10/10 for pain - fortunately just until the morphine kicked in.

Thanks again,
Axelle

Quoteso eventless other the 3rd (wall papering) op a 9 - 10/10 for pain

I'm sorry dear, it happens for some of us. I went through a similar level of pain. Not fun at all. Then complications.

Then to be hear that SRS isnt important or necessary from some... well good for them. But in spite of the pain, I am glad I did it, thrilled even that I have a female body now, and imagine you are too. There was no price too high.