Hello! I'm within a week of turning ..., and I'm a transmasculine person. My gender dysphoria has been at all all-time high. I can't look at myself in the mirror without becoming very anxious. I absolutely cannot STAND the sight of my own body. I haven't gone to school the past few days because the dysphoria is too intense. I am trying not to hurt myself, though the want is definitely there. My dysphoria is--as usual--exacerbating my anxiety disorder and depression.

I have a gender therapist and she's told me she would absolutely write me a letter for T, and that the main struggle would be finding an endo who would prescribe it to a young person. She also told me about estrogen-blockers I could take in the meantime that aren't prescription-only. I'm not quite certain of what effect the estrogen-blockers would have at my present age, but I'm beyond willing to take them if there are no other options.

The biggest issue I'm having in this hormone discussion is my mother, who is unsupportive of my being trans*, and beyond unsupportive of my medically transitioning. The thing is that my parents are divorced, and my father is supportive of my taking hormones. I live with my father full-time, and have for seven months, but legally, my parents see me on a 50/50 schedule. I'm not at all worried about hurting my mother's feelings by starting hormones, as it IS my body, and I can't live like this anymore. I need to be able to function and not absolutely hate every movement my body makes. I know, however, that if I start T without her consent (even if I have my father's), she will make the argument that she has just as much a say in my body as my father does (which is a creepy as hell sentence, but let's ignore that).

My question is how I can legally obtain hormones without my mother's consent. Can I obtain hormones if my just father consents (which he will)? Is it illegal for me to begin HRT without her permission, due to her legally having joint custody with my father?

To sum up, my father and gender therapist are supportive of my going on T, but my mother (who I do not live with, but who I legally do) isn't, and I am wondering how to go about this.

(And I don't know why I didn't include this earlier, but I live in Southern California and go to Kaiser.)

Thank you!

The biggest question about all of this is who has custody of you? If your father has custody then you can do hrt. If your mother has custody then you have a harder fight where you may have to take her to court and argue your rights to be who you are.

About an Endocrinologist. It will be difficult but not impossible. Many Endocrinologist wont even prescribe HRT to someone who is adult over their own personal ethical issues.

You are under Kaiser which can be challenging. I had to deal with them as a Disability Manager and they are very "unorganized." I have to say they are the worse health care provider i have ever seen within the United States. However, you can use this to your advantage because one head doesn't know what the other head is doing.

If I were you I would find out who is your legal guardian and deal with that first.

The second step is to contact Kaiser and give you a list of all the Endocrinologists in your area and the surrounding areas. You may find one that will help you.

Good luck!

Thank you! And my parents have joint custody of me. Legally, I'm spending as much time with my dad as I do with my mom, but I haven't lived with my mother for seven months. I'll look into who my legal guardian is.

Quote from: rothkokid on November 02, 2011, 04:35:43 PM
Thank you! And my parents have joint custody of me. Legally, I'm spending as much time with my dad as I do with my mom, but I haven't lived with my mother for seven months. I'll look into who my legal guardian is.

if your parents have joint custody of you, then you may have to court if your mother does not want you to have HRT.

I don't know where in Southern California you are, but have you looked into Children's Hospital Los Angeles?  They've got what is apparently a very good program for transgender youth and young adults.  I don't know how Kaiser works exactly, but even if CHLA doesn't work with Kaiser, hopefully they can give you some suggestions about what might work.  Here's their website: http://www.chla.org/site/c.ipINKTOAJsG/b.7501767/k.5FBA/Transgender_Services__Adolescent_Medicine__Case_Management__Health_Education.htm