Gina!

QuoteStupid things that I would do that would get him sent to segregation, but it was a learning thing for me, and he forgave me for it.

The two of you have never been together. You have never actually met face to face. You have only written letters back and forth. Now read that quote over very carefully. Do you see ANY RED FLAGS here.

So basically you wrote something that really ticked him off which he took out on somebody else which got him sent to solitary confinement. You learned your lesson(i.e. don't do things that tick him off) and he forgave you for it.

So if you were living together and you did something that ticked him of like, oh I don't know, burned the soup or something, and he beat the living bejeezus out of you it would just be a learning thing and you would be gratefull for his forgiveness. Right?

Now I know what you are going to say here. Tony would never do anything to hurt me. You ticked him of in a letter and you, fortunately, weren't there to take it out on so he took it out on some other poor sap.

Think about it.

Cassie

Quote from: gina_taylor on October 13, 2005, 03:10:19 PM

Thanks for your good point there Steph. Tony has been mad at me during the start of our relationship. STupid things taht I would do that would get him sent to segregation, but it was a learning thing for me, and he forgave me for it. 
Gina

Hi Gina,

I'm glad you thought my last point was a good one.  Here is another couple of points and It is going to be the last time that I comment in this thread.

In order for your boyfriend to get sent to segregation would be for doing something violent or threatening.  If that happened, because of (as you put it) "stupid things that you would do" this should set off every alarm bell in the US of A.  My last point is that I would advise you to run away from this so called relationship as fast and as far as you can, and don't look back.  If you don't want to do that, all I can do is say that I hope that everything turns out as you hope it does, but I personally doubt that it will.

As I mentioned previously, this is the last time I shall comment in this thread, and I wish you luck.

Steph

Please alow me to clarify myself. The stupid things that I did was I had sent Tony the wrong things, you know things that I wasn't aware that was against regulations in a correctional facility. So technically he didn't take his anger out on nobody. Because of me he got put into a black hole for a few days. Has anyone ever seen The Shawshank Redemption? The same thing happened there.  Stephanie, I'm really sorry that you're no longer going to comment on this thread. I'm really going to miss your input.  You really gave me a lot of good point sto think about.

Gina

I don't believe that is the way it works.

The inmate has to have them in their possession before being sanctioned.  If these items were found prior to possession they would have been confiscated and possibly you might have been sent a letter explaining what was wrong.

If they were passed on by by someone in authority and then the inmate was found in violation, the person who passed it on would be reprimanded and little if any action would be taken against the inmate.

You are only relating second hand information and cannot speak to the truth of the statements.

I agree with Steph.  This subject is a dead horse.

When I've sent contraband to Marc, the mail room simply returns it to me with a letter stating that it's unauthorized.  A copy of the letter is given to the prisoner in these circumstances as well.  The same has happenend when I accidentally sent stamps to a federal inmate friend.

If someone sends contraband with out a forwarding address, the material is left in the property room, and the prisoner is instructed to provide an address to mail it to.  Under no circumstance is the prisoner punished, and Death Row is maximum security, they don't play games...

To go one step further, the wife of a prisoner was found to be carrying Advil into the prison on visiting day.  She was barred from visiting for a year or 2, but no action was taken against her husband. 

It's cruel & selfish of Tony to blame you for sending things that you don't know are contraband.  But I don't believe for a minute that he was put in confinement for anything you did.  What facility is he at? Why don't you give them a call?  You might even be able to speak to Tony's classification officer & find out exactly why he was put in the hole.  In fact, Tony was probably given a carbon-copy of his disciplinary action, and if he's nothing to hide should be glad to send it to you. 

Gina look at some of the people that have responded to your post---Steph, Cass, Leigh, Shelley, Dennis & I forget who else is on here...they weren't born yesterday, they've got a helluva' lot more life experience than you or I, & you've seen their insight on other threads...they know what they're talkin' about here. 

It would do you good to listen to them and the others as voices of reason.  You've already exasperated at least 2 of them with your reluctance to even consider that you might not know it all. 

Valerie

Thanks Valerie for your insightfulness. Tony is at the Bare Hill Correctional Facility in New York.

I can't rember exactly what I sent him, but there were a few things that were against regulations and they sent him to the hole for it. I gues sit's their way of punishment. They change tehir rules every week.

I realize that Death Row is a maximum security and teh correctional facilty is just a place where Tony is just more or less doing time for his crime.

I may ask him for a copy of his disciplinary action. I've got nothing to lose.

To all that has responded to my post here, I'd like to appologize for exasperating some. It's unfortunately a mental problem that I'm going through. I have been officailly diagnosed as being DELUSIONAL, and I can't see reason and I won't change from th way that I see things. Please forgive me for any irrational thoughts.  I really hope that I haven't offended anyone. I may be taking some time way from this board for a while, if you don't see anything from me . . . 

Gina

I don't think you've offended anyone, Gina. I imagine some of them might feel that any further comment would be futile, but don't let me put words in their mouths, either  

I hope your choice to take a 'vacation' from here isn't due to my earlier comments.  I didn't mean them to be hurtful, but was only pointing out what I thought was obvious from the comments of those who stated or implied they weren't going to comment any further.  Perhaps I could have done well enough without doing so....sorry... :-[

It's good that you're continuing to get help for your problem.  I hope you won't stay away too long, but remember that we care about you here & will be thinking of you.  Take good care of yourself....

Valerie

  Gina,

              You certainly didn't say anything that should offend anyone. I don't see you as delusional or irrational from the things you have said here but you should take the advice of your doctor if he/she is competent. If you do take a break I hope you return soon.




beth

Gina,

I for one have not been offended by anything you have written here. Nor do I think you are delusional. Naive, yes delusional, no. If you feel you need to take some time away from Susan's that is your choice and I hope you will return soon. Just remember that we do care about you and we care what happens to you or we would not have spent so much time with you.

Some may have become a little frustrated by the fact that you keep making excuses for this felon you love so much. Of course it is to be expected that you would do such a thing if you are in love. Love however is a two way street. How much love can there be if he gets himself thrown into disciplinary confinement and then blames something in your letters when that blatantly flies in the face of facts. I'll say it again prisoners do NOT get thrown in the hole because of something someone on the outside writes to them or anything they send to them. If Tony says this happened he is LYING! And if he lies to you about this what else is he lying to you about?

Also they do not change the rules in prisons on whims. The rules are very strict. It is a highly structered rule based system. Without standard rules everyone can follow the prison would soon devolve into chaos. So he is lying about that too. Anyway, I hope you will stay and know that I have not taken offense. It is my sincere hope that you will come to your senses and see through this guy.


Cassie

Hi Gina,

As I think I've said to you before people are providing you with feedback because there concerned.

One of the advantages of posting here is the feedback from others but another is that through posting you get to clarify your thinking. If either is not working for you a break maybe helpful.

If you do have a break remember we will still be here down the track and we will still care. Look after yourself Gina and thankyou for sharing with us.

Love and hugs.

Shelley

Gina,

Go take care of yourself and come back soon!  We'll miss you!

Chaunte

Last Friday I received a wonderful letter from Tony and without any prompting from me he told me that I am his only exsitence for living, and that he cherishes me for being a caring, loving, faithful and beautiful wife and that he would be up the creek without a paddle without me. So I think that I can actually change him, just by expressing my sweetness and caring towards him.

He's been having some problems at the correctional facility, and in a second letter, he said that when he gets out, he's going to rob some more banks like they wouldn't believe, and then he said "JUST KIDDING" That's the last thing that he wants to do.

Gina

Today I am devorsing myself from Mr. Tony Berryman  due to certain problems that have come up in my life.

Gina

Hi Gina,

Sometimes there are things we need to do in our lives that at the time hurt quite a bit emotionally but have to be done for our own good. Letting go of a relationship is one of those times.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you realise that your friends here at Susans will be thinking of you.

Hugs Shelley

Thanks Shelley for your kind and heartfelt words. It will be a tough time after a spending a year corresponding with him.  But unfortunately things have developed that I had to devorse him for the better of me. Hopefully I should be able to bounce back and it will make a better woman out of me.

A heartfelt thanks goes out to all my friends here at Susan's. 

Gina

 Sorry Gina,
But I too, have to side with the majority on this. Please be really careful. anything can happen, who knows what, just be careful.

Hello Gina,

                       I'm sorry to hear of your problems with Tony but I'm sure your decision is for the best.  Usually changes uncover new and better opportunities. I'm sure this will be the case.


beth

Hi Gina,

I can't honestly say that I am in anyway saddened by this news. I do feel for you though. I know it is difficult for you. However, you are at a point in your life when you need to concentrate on you and any relationship is just a distraction from those things. I wish you luck and always hope for the best.

Hugs,

Cassie

Gina,

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling right now.  As Shelley said, there are times we have to do thngs that are painful.  But I think you will bounce back a stonger and wiser woman.

Love ya!

Chaunte

Thanks to all for your kind and uplifting words.   Unfortunately to top everything off, yesterday I saw my neuropsychologist about my psyche test that I had taken a few weeks ago and I scored fairly low, and I have a severe frontal lobe damage to my brain, which controls alot of things, and it looks like I'm going to be more of a mental case  than anything else, which will require alot of medical attention and unfortunately there isn't anything that I can do about it, unless anyone knows of a good brain surgeon. In his report though he had said that my transsexualism is my own doing, which means that it wasn't caused from my accident twenty seven years ago. * Read my Intro for info on that.*

Gina