How does your brother, uncle, male cousin, male friends, etc treat you now that you are living as a woman? Do they still treat you like one of the guys or do they treat you as a woman?

For the most part, male members of my family hug me and do the kiss on the cheek thing when saying hi.

I remember one incident though where we had a family gathering and we were all sitting down in chairs. A guy who is not blood related but part of the family was going down the line greeting everyone. I was at the very end. He was kissing all the ladies on the cheek and hand shaking all the men. When he got to me, he shook my hand. It made me feel very bad. As if he viewed me as a man.

Well as for my friends they have accepted it fully and have no problems with me or my hubby transitioning. However we have not started but they don't treat us any different. I am treated as one of the guys and gals. since my friends don't have different ways to treat males or females.

My brother on the other hand is say... lost... At first I think he didn't think I was serious but now that he sees me actually going for it. He doesn't talk about it but I see him debating Gay and TG issues alot more as though he's really trying to wrap his brain around it. So once I finish changing I'm not sure what will happen. He's trying to accept it but he may never be able to see the true my just that his little brother changed is all. :/

The men who've known me before seem to be the most awkward about how they treat me now.  They generally seem to be the most eager to try to ignore my appearance and stated name and pronoun preference.  Obviously, there are some exceptions, some who are being very cool about things and one who is being a little too cool, if you know what I mean, but the general atmosphere is much more stifled than with the women of my life.  The women who've known me seem like they're getting a lot closer again.  I used to be really close with my girl friends and generally felt like one of the girls, but my wife is extremely jealous (funny considering she's polyamorous, while I'm monogamous) and has strained those friendships over the past 8 years.  She's actually gotten upset that I have so many girls as friends on Facebook.  I wasn't even communicating with them, just acknowledging that we're friends.  Anyway, it seems like a lot of them have reached out to me and been really supportive since I came out.  I guess they may see me as being more like the person they knew this way.

All my moms male friends who knew me when I was 4 completely ignore the fact that I'm living as female.
In a bad way.
All I hear is he/him.

My own family doesn't treat me any different.


Some of my straight guy friends tend to flirt with me now and treat me with more affection.
I hardly have any straight guy friends though, they're all ghey bois that I can hug whenever I feel sad

At first my brother seemed to think he had an agent in the enemy camp and he was pumping me for information on the local women.
I had to tell him that wasn't going to fly. I was not going to share womens secrets with him.

Now he treats me like a girl. We still do fall into all our old stand by conversations but I am treated like a girl.
Instead of getting on my case for being a transsexual, whenever I violate our families gender rules and step outside of the expected gender expectations for women in our family he admonishes me sternly with a look of disaproval.
So in a way he is putting the gender straight jacket on me, just not in the way most would expect.

The other guys are poliet, give me hugs instead of handshakes and generaly avoid being around me allot just like any of the other women in the family/friend circle.
So my family and friends are pretty much being good about things.

My brother does slip up and call me by my given name or he sometimes, but when he does, he makes an ass out of himself falling over himself doing his best to apologise and insist he wasn't being an ass and calling me male on purpose.

It is kinda funny and cute in a way.

The women it seemed took a bit longer to win over to my new reality than the men.
The women were all imediatly supportive but they were slow to include me into the girl circle. I was quickly out of the mens circle. The guys were however not treating me any diferant than any of the other girls.
Now I am one of the girls and everyone is pretty cool about it.


I know that my experiance is very atypical. Having my family and friends support me and properly gender me socialy has been so wonderful. It saddens me when I think that many of my brothers and sisters in transition do not have the support I have. I am constantly in awe of the level of fortitude that those who do not have family support display. Those who transition on thier own must be made of solider material than I am. I would have crumbled if my brother had not let go of the male version of me and accept me as his sister.

I've substituted antidepressants for family support.

All the women in my family are plain amazing. Just received a huge bag full of bras and dresses and blouses from my nieces, so nice of them.
The men... are relatively amazing. Most treat me as a girl. I see some hesitation in some of them occasionally, but then I've only been presenting female for a month or two. My granddad is the only one so far who won't accept me at all. Which doesn't bother me- I've never had a decent conversation with the man. My brother (two years older) .. picked up on the name and pronouns very easily but still punches my shoulder daily. I dunno, lol. I guess brothers play-punching their sisters is pretty normal?

Depends on the guy (talking about friends of the family, since I have only 1 male family member). As far as just general behaviour goes, it's not much different, which is partly the result of my fairly gender-neutral world, and partly the result of me never really being "one of the guys" and not quite being expelled now since I'm not a straight girl. And nobody misgenders me or uses the wrong name. The sticking point is touching me. Some guys do the kiss, some hug, some only handshake, some position themselves so as to avoid doing anything. When I get the handshake or nothing it doesn't so much hurt as make me think "oh, you're really uncomfortable with your sexuality, interesting." I think being conventionally attractive actually makes it harder for them.

Personally, if I'm given the choice, I hug. I hate being kissed on the cheek, for all I'm impressed by the guys who are confident enough to do that.

Women tend to be a bit condescending actually. Like "oh, you are going to learn what it's like" and they are more liable to push me into gender normative behaviour - wear lipsticks, dress this way, you'll look so good in earrings, blah blah. I suppose it's their way of being supportive, but it is a bit discomforting. I shouldn't complain though, people have been incredibly accepting of me in general.

Overall I'm treated the same.  I suppose once I transition a bit further the pronouns and such may change on their part.  I'm not concerned with it though; the mere fact they accept and support my transition is enough for me at this point.

My ex boyfriends still treat me like a gay man. But they respect my new identity to a certain degree.

Straight guys vary...Most of them still treat me like the gay son they never had. But since I quit that job, I won't have to worry about them anymore. It bothers me.

If the guy has never met me, he will shake my hand. Only one guy has treated me like a man and it was this owner of this toy store who knew I was trans. But he was an ->-bleeped-<- apparently to everyone.

Most of my new coworkers had no idea I was ever a man and were very flirty with me. They had heard rumors of me being trans from catty female coworkers, but chose not to believe them.

But if I ever see my family again. I expect to be treated like a male...nothing wrong with that.

still like a guy, male pronouns and everything. I dont get treated female at all

Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 14, 2011, 01:22:56 PM
Overall I'm treated the same.  I suppose once I transition a bit further the pronouns and such may change on their part.  I'm not concerned with it though; the mere fact they accept and support my transition is enough for me at this point.

That doesn't normally happen unless they are super supportive or educated. Most coworkers who knew me before, think I may look the part...But know I am still the same person as before.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 14, 2011, 02:47:44 PM
That doesn't normally happen unless they are super supportive or educated. Most coworkers who knew me before, think I may look the part...But know I am still the same person as before.

Wishful thinking, I suppose.  Though truthfully, I'm not really bothered by it.

Quote from: stldrmgrl on November 14, 2011, 03:03:29 PM
Wishful thinking, I suppose.  Though truthfully, I'm not really bothered by it.

Family knows who you are and have more memories of you being male than female.

It's not like people who I met a few times years ago and think "that gay rocker guy had a sister"

It's reality I suppose.

Mmm... well, my biological father told me that he will always see me as his "son", sooo... while it's a nice thing to say under normal circumstances it was not in this case. Needless to say, that was the last time I spoke to him. My uncle just does not understand this, period. It is impossible for anyone to understand unless they're trans themselves but my uncle will not even try to understand. Whatever... other people are too blinded by false religion and dogma to even accept me for who I am.

Everyone else is pretty awesome, though. My grandfather, who is like my dad, accepts me and supports me much more than I can respectfully ask for. He's also very mature also, in a way, as he responds to my "state of being" based on the state of my transition. Right now, my transition is in the embryonic stages and therefore I look kind of andro and my name still hasn't changed. He responds to this by calling me by the first letter of my name, "C", and treating me as if I am between both genders (which is true!) It's an interesting relationship.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 14, 2011, 03:06:15 PM
Family knows who you are and have more memories of you being male than female.

It's not like people who I met a few times years ago and think "that gay rocker guy had a sister"

It's reality I suppose.

  Exactly, my family (except for my sister) won't even try and acknowledge me as female. My mom said i'll always be her lil boy *sigh* & my grandmother said something similar. I have noticed the male members of my family give me this stunned look now & my sisters bf saw me for the first time in 3 years and was like "Wow no way....hey there...?" so i guess that's ok.

  Most of my old friends in my home town won't talk to me anymore.  </3

All the men in my life are treating me like the girl I am. They guys that never hugged me before, are quick to embrace me.

The men in my family all treat me as a woman.. My uncle does sometimes slip and call me 'mate', which is a fairly Aussie thing to do amongst guys, but then he makes up for it by offering me a nice dark ale to have with dinner..

Well for me, it goes like this:

My old classmates seen to avoid close contact with me, though they threat me as a girl in most ways. They don't do the kiss on the cheek thing though. Many of the students at Uni do it though, it seens to me that the less they knew me before, easier it is for them to accept it.

My teachers now and then slip, but they are using the correct pronouns. This is getting easier for them I notice, as HRT changes me. Mostly their slips happen in situations where they are surprised by something.

Quote from: Rukia87xo on November 14, 2011, 05:47:18 PM

  Most of my old friends in my home town won't talk to me anymore.  </3

My old ->-bleeped-<- hag won't talk to me. I think it is Ray(my ex) and Chad(another ex who hates me apparently) are like, "she's so fabulous!"