Ok, having a bit of a crisis here. Last week I got fired (they made up a reason, but it was blatantly obvious it's because some people have a problem with the fact that I'm trans. I'd rather not rant about it, I'll just get ticked off alllll over again). I should have known this would happen, I have heard of so many trans people coming out at work and then getting fired for no reason (or for a stupid reason) about 1 to 3 months later. This was almost exactly my 3-month mark.

Here's where I'm at: I've been taking T for about six months, I'm pre-op, there's no way in hell I can get surgery soon, and I haven't changed my name legally yet. My previous employer (of six months) is the only employer who knows I'm trans, and is probably 70% likely to mess up on pronouns. So I can only imagine how useless it would be to inform my other previous employers that I'm trans, and ask them to refer to me as "he", use my male name, etc. And I don't know what's worse: listing all previous employers, and dealing with the stupid situation of having it obvious that I'm trans... or listing only my previous employer, which would make it look like I've only worked six months in my entire life. Not the best thing, when so many places expect you to have at least a year experience in whatever field.

Even if I could handle the psychological effects (let's be honest. I can't!) of presenting as female, I've gotten to the point where I can't pass as female if I'm not binding, I just look like a guy with boobs. So... I don't know what to do. I live in an ultra-conservative state, so explaining up-front that I'm trans would very likely dissuade any prospective employers from even giving me a chance. But I can't exactly hide it, not even until right after I get hired, because all my legal documents have that horrible girl name on it, and if I list more than just my most recent employer, it'll be obvious they knew me as *insert girl name here*.

I'm not picky on what kind of job I have. Heck, if it was legal (and if I had an even semi-desirable body) I'd consider being a gigolo. Or something. But I just have no idea how to approach this. When it says on applications "Please enter your name exactly as it appears on your social security card." what can I do? I hadn't changed my name because I wanted to get my name and gender changed simultaneously, to avoid that "uh, this guy's a girl?? what?" awkwardness, but now I'm kicking myself for not just changing my name. Now that I'm unemployed, and worried about how I'll manage to pay next months' rent, I definitely don't have the $350+ for the fees to get my name changed, and I wouldn't want to wait however long it'll take to get that process completed.

Sorry, this turned more into a "poor little me" rant than anything  But I would appreciate your advice. I would have asked my psychologist about this situation, but amazingly, $70 an hour isn't really affordable when I'm making $0 an hour. Grrrr. 

It's like damned if you do, damned if you don't.  If you weren't struggling so much financially, I'd tell you to be upfront with potential employers about your status.  I hate to suggest "girl-mode" to you, but it may come down to either that or disclosure.  Do you have savings?  Maybe you could check out the unemployment office and see if you can get on benefits while you search.  I'll be in a similar situation when I start job-hunting, but I plan to be upfront with them about my status.

If you were fired, you should be eligible for unemployment benefits. And if you're unemployed (even if you get unemployment benefits), you should look into getting a fee waiver for your name change. I've heard that not all states offer one, but a lot do.

Any chance you can move? Do you have any friends or relatives in other states where you could start over?

I don't know what to say, but I just want you to know that I read your post and I feel you. My situation is not all that dissimilar. I hope you come up with good ideas and good armor.

Just list all previous employers on your resume and put "reference available upon request". They almost never request, and if they do it's likely to be just the most recent one (or perhaps the one that relates to their particular line of work). If I was you I'd list all previous employers and don't worry about the trans thing. In fact, I am in that situation. 2 of my previous employers have no idea I'm trans. And it's never caused a problem.

What does complicate things, however, is the fact I have a male name on my job app stuff and then I have to provide legal info, it's the female name. They see it sometimes as identity falsification.

Quote from: Arch on November 18, 2011, 12:25:43 AM
If you were fired, you should be eligible for unemployment benefits. And if you're unemployed (even if you get unemployment benefits), you should look into getting a fee waiver for your name change. I've heard that not all states offer one, but a lot do.

Any chance you can move? Do you have any friends or relatives in other states where you could start over?

I'm not sure if I could get benefits. My employer is saying that I was late, (I wasn't) so it would really just be my word against his. I have no proof except the fact that I signed in that day and checked the time as I was doing so... but supposedly it showed up as me clocking in two minutes late (I was working from home, so apparently there was a delay. Or my employer made it up. I don't know, but either way, he wanted me gone).

Yeah I didn't even think about the possibility of a fee waiver. I'll check that out.

No, I can't move. I stupidly signed a housing agreement until April 2012, and it would be difficult to get out of. Besides that, I don't have anyone out of state to help me out.

Quote from: Felix on November 18, 2011, 12:28:34 AM
I don't know what to say, but I just want you to know that I read your post and I feel you. My situation is not all that dissimilar. I hope you come up with good ideas and good armor.

Thanks I hope things go well for you as well

Quote from: Gifted Universal on November 18, 2011, 12:48:19 AM
Just list all previous employers on your resume and put "reference available upon request". They almost never request, and if they do it's likely to be just the most recent one (or perhaps the one that relates to their particular line of work). If I was you I'd list all previous employers and don't worry about the trans thing. In fact, I am in that situation. 2 of my previous employers have no idea I'm trans. And it's never caused a problem.

What does complicate things, however, is the fact I have a male name on my job app stuff and then I have to provide legal info, it's the female name. They see it sometimes as identity falsification.

That's a great idea.

Yeah that's the issue I had at my previous job. After finally convincing them to change my name on the computer program that we use (where literally everything you do is documented with your name on the top), it took them just a few weeks to decide they weren't cool with it anymore, even though it wasn't anything legal (although I suppose there's a possibility a customer could have sued the company, and the records were obtained for court, and then the discrepancy would be obvious... but that's fairly far-fetched).

I'm really sorry about your job situation. I would say check out the unemployment office. It doesn't matter if you were fired for whatever reason. Just that you were. And check out the fee waivers for name change. Worse comes to worse, if you go into an interview and have to use your legal name, just tell 'em that you have a thyroid condition. That's what I'll be doing.

But, I have a question. Are you in the US? Please bear in mind that I am a little outspoken and my partner wanted me to pass along some info. Check out the discrimination laws in your area with the department of labor or a lawyer. Most likely, if you don't mind going as far, is that you could sue for discrimination. I know it sounds terrible and no one wants to be "that person" but the laws were put into place for that reason. I know up here in Alaska (one of the most conservative states in the US) the laws do protect the trans community and if I had been in your shoes I would have been granted $300,000 up front. Add on top the pain and emotional distress and I could get up to a million. If you worked for a small privately owned company it might not be an option, but it also might depending on where you live. I mean, federal standards say that you can't fire someone just because you don't like them. So, my question is did you check out the laws? Remember that the proof of burden for the reason you were fired is on them, so what do they usually fire people for? If they fired you for being late twice or whatever then they have to fire everyone else who did that. When you started working for them, was there a discrimination policy on the books? If not, that could land them in hot water and get you some money. By no means do you have to do this, I just hate hear about people getting treated terribly because of physical appearance. I mean, they wouldn't fire someone because they lost a leg in a car accident, would they? Not to mention that I am pretty loud and don't handle being told no very well. Check with the national LGBTQ groups, they could probably either give you a lawyer or some legal advice. If you go that route, you may have to leave the town though.

I guess, my advice is to not take it sitting down. But, I also know that this approach isn't for everyone. I guess it really depends on what you feel is going to be most valuable for you. If you would rather keep your head down, then I would say take Gifted's advice and provide references on request, check out unemployment, fee waivers, and then tell your potential bosses you have a thyroid problem.

I just want to re-emphasize. Please, please, please don't listen to me at all if it would put you in any danger. Check out the laws, because everyone should know about the laws of their area, but don't ever put yourself in the situation to get hurt.

There aren't any anti-discrimination laws for trans people here. And it's "at will" employment, meaning they could fire me for any reason or for no reason at all, so technically they didn't even need to make up a reason to fire me (I assume they made up a reason just to make themselves look better).

I don't suppose it's possible to move somewhere that isn't so transphobic/homophobic? 

They fired you for being 2 minutes late, only once?  Harsh.   

Only you know if you have it in you emotional, financially, and those who support you to fight back on this.  If you do I recommend it but I know how draining and awful the legal system can be.   

I think most states have "at will" employment laws which basically give the employee free reign to fire people for anything. Unless of course it was actual sexual discrimination that you can document. Then you could potentially have a case against them. Most states have hoops to jump through for unemployment. Some make it really hard to get unemployment no matter what the reason.

If the previous employer fired you, would you really even want to give them as a reference?

Depending on your line of work, a lot of companies do not even check references.