I was just reading an article about a local transwoman who passed recently.  I didn't know her.

The article started out talking about her gender transition but how her transition from advocate to victim was the hardest pill to swallow.

Then the next paragraph starts a sentence that said she knew she was different, "more than just gay."

HUH?  Do you mean she was more than just lesbian, she was trans lesbian?  Uh, no.  She liked guys.  So how was she gay?

This is something I see confused all the time.  And I get that when it comes from someone outside the community, someone clueless about us and our lives.  But here is someone from the community, someone who knew her, and he thought she was gay?

I just don't get it.  But maybe I'm the one who is clueless.

I still don't know if I am gay or straight I like guys... on hormones (mtf) for about 8 months now... and still can't figure it out

When 99.99999 percent of people (even knowing I'm trans) ask if I am "gay", they are trying to ask if I date guys.

Really, I don't care, being gay is just as fine and great as being straight... why get caught up on the semantics?

((Actually, I like to joke that "I'm not just gay... I'm super gay! Gay2.0 "))

I feel like alot of journalists will invalidate trans people somewhere in their articles because it gets passed around more with controversy. But who knowes..
it's sad hearing someone from our community passing, may they rest in peace

Uh, could that be from her past perspective. Prior to the realization that she was trans?

I had moments, in the far past, where my first thought was; "am I gay"?

I think we sometimes go looking for the smallest thread to pull upon.

Quote from: Michelle. on November 18, 2011, 10:09:57 PM
Uh, could that be from her past perspective. Prior to the realization that she was trans?

I had moments, in the far past, where my first thought was; "am I gay"?

I think we sometimes go looking for the smallest thread to pull upon.

I was a gay boy longer than a transgirl...People will always associate a persons past with their current identity. Same reason people like Jennifer Finney boylan have trouble...People remember the person before.

Idc, that's what I wrote to my therapist. I wrote "worse than gay"

One of my favorite phrases is "weapons-grade gay." 

It doesn't actually refer to trans, but still.

The way that is worded just sounds like a pre-transition perspective (where she referred to herself as being a gay man), and then realized that wasn't quite it, so she was "more than just gay" as in something that is harder to deal with or whatever.

I don't even know how to describe myself half the time.  I pity any writer that has to write about me.  Still that statement seems a bit inappropriate unless you are quoting the person.  I have heard a lot trans people wonder if they were gay before coming to the realization they were trans.  For me the two things are completely independent of one another.  For those who don't understand, they can't separate gender and sexual orientation.

Julie, tomorrow , 11/20 is Trans day of Remembrance . if there is a close by memorial, go and support that venue . Say a prayer for that individual . Light a candle in remembrance . So what if they were Gay or whatever . they were put here on earth with a purpose . We here are not for judging . We are here I hope to offer support and hopefully an understanding ................ ellen

Ellen, I'm not judging, but I am hoping to educate.  I can understand the feelings of confusion for MTFs who are attracted to men but haven't yet understood their gender identity.  But once you realize you are female, you no longer can say, "I was gay." 

Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same.  One does not go from gay to trans.  That's like saying saying, "I used to have brown hair, now I'm tall."  There is no transition from gay to transgender, just like there's no transition from straight to transgender.  I've always been attracted to women.  I didn't one day say to myself, "I'm more than straight, I'm transgender."

As for the deceased, she left this life a woman.  That's who she always was.  Whatever road she took to arrive there doesn't matter.  She always felt female and she always was attracted to men.  And that makes her a heterosexual woman.   

Quote from: Julie Marie on November 19, 2011, 02:44:52 PM


Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same.  One does not go from gay to trans.  That's like saying saying, "I used to have brown hair, now I'm tall."  There is no transition from gay to transgender, just like there's no transition from straight to transgender.  I've always been attracted to women.  I didn't one day say to myself, "I'm more than straight, I'm transgender."

So you're saying you're a lesbian like my two Moms?

Quote from: Julie Marie on November 19, 2011, 02:44:52 PM
Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same.  One does not go from gay to trans.  That's like saying saying, "I used to have brown hair, now I'm tall."  There is no transition from gay to transgender, just like there's no transition from straight to transgender.  I've always been attracted to women.  I didn't one day say to myself, "I'm more than straight, I'm transgender."

Well yes and no. Even though you're still attracted to the same people, the label does change. And yes, people do care about labels so it's not irrelevant (else they wouldn't exist).

The thing is, being gay in itself is already "out of the ordinary". Maybe it's not for people with half a brain, but the majority of society doesn't have such a thing, so being gay often is seen as something "off".
Because of that, it is indeed possible to first think you're gay, and then find out that's not true, because you are transgender. Even though you didn't go from being gay to being transgender, you did go from being gay to being straight because you found out you're transgender.

Quote from: Rabbit on November 18, 2011, 08:57:49 PM
I still don't know if I am gay or straight I like guys... on hormones (mtf) for about 8 months now... and still can't figure it out

When 99.99999 percent of people (even knowing I'm trans) ask if I am "gay", they are trying to ask if I date guys.

Really, I don't care, being gay is just as fine and great as being straight... why get caught up on the semantics?

((Actually, I like to joke that "I'm not just gay... I'm super gay! Gay2.0 "))

Lol

Quote from: Lynn on November 19, 2011, 03:25:16 PM


The thing is, being gay in itself is already "out of the ordinary". Maybe it's not for people with half a brain, but the majority of society doesn't have such a thing, so being gay often is seen as something "off".
Because of that, it is indeed possible to first think you're gay, and then find out that's not true, because you are transgender. Even though you didn't go from being gay to being transgender, you did go from being gay to being straight because you found out you're transgender.

Being gay is actually mainstream. Gay men are respected in their communities... I think once they stopped playing the "victim". They got semi mainstream acceptance. They have tv shows, are on the E! channel, etc

As for transition, I'm considered "super gay" or "so gay you turned into a girl" by my DQs and gay friends. It is how they are going to interpret the transition.... I'd say they are partially right, but also wrong. Especially if you knew me before as the super horny boy I once was.

What is with transsexual lesbians hooking up with other transsexual lesbians? I still can't wrap my mind around that. I respect them and support them, but I even I don't understand certain aspects of the community.

You can let other people define you.  You can place their level importance on labels.  But no one can do that unless you let them.

As for, "I used to be gay", that doesn't work for me or most of the trans people I know.  Once they acknowledge they are trans, they realize they really have been male or female all along. 

It's like growing up in an Italian family and identifying as Italian.  The fact you had red hair caused you to to look into your heritage and along the way you find out you're Irish and you were adopted.  You wouldn't say I used to be Italian, now I'm Irish.

You know journalists who are so self indulgent as to ham-handedly expolit a person's obit. for a "clever" turn of phrase, demonstrates that no one is in the story editor's desk anymore. I wager that this newspaper's best use is limited to wrapping a halibut...

And you can print that-

Lexi-

Actually, the obit was published in a LGBT web blog.  The author is most likely gay.

A blogger? Well, I guess there really was no editor involved. Journalism ain't what it used to be...

My sister used to refer to me as a gay homo wanna-be girl.