I'm one of those people that can't blend  in.

Quote from: Tracy Stevens on November 21, 2011, 09:24:08 PM
I have no chance of blending in because of bone structure.

  You mean like your shoulders and ribcage are wide? If that's the case you need to work with what you have meaning building your frame with proper muscle training to fill in certain areas. You may never look like a skinny small framed super model but that doesn't mean you can't have a womans body.

  Remember women come in all shapes and sizes. 

Kia Ora Tracy,

I have a friend from another forum whose about your size and build, when I first met her she was also saying "I'm never going to pass-I'm too big etc etc !" However from what I gather from the photos she had posted prior to HRT [in which she had grown her hair and donned make-up]  , she's quite passable and has had many experiences when out and about where people have just treated her as a normal woman...She's since started HRT so things must have gotten even better for her.... So never say never...

Metta Zenda

Rukia is right when she says women come in all different sizes and shapes. There are plenty of women who feel their hands, feet, head, etc. are larger than that of their peers, but think of it this way, they're Amazon queens, and so are you. Beautiful and strong. You have an amazing strength and courage to make it this far; keep going. Be proud of your strong features, and highlight those feminine attributes you do have. You can create curves with the right kind of clothes, and make-up can bring out those womanly facial cues, if and when you're struggling.

In a worse case scenario, you can always get your chest removed (or bind them) and just slip into more of an androgynous role.

If you are getting a ton of negative feedback, it probably isn't just a chest (unless it is very large). Maybe it is other things? Post pictures and we could help maybe?

Or, maybe you just need to find a more accepting place to live? I send some pretty strange signals, but haven't been bothered at all (I'm in LA, california).

Either way, there definitely are things you can do to help improve things! Suicide isn't the only answer ~hugs~

Quote from: Tracy Stevens on November 21, 2011, 09:24:08 PM
I'm one of those people that can't blend  in.. After 2 years of hormones i look like a man with breasts. I have no chance of blending in because of bone structure. Suicide is my only option.

I am a firm believer that ANYONE can blend in. For some, it just takes more work. My moms hands and feet are bigger than the average woman. And I know plenty of tall women. I would suggest losing as much weight as possible because a slim look can be feminizing and even if you have a "large" head, if you have a female face and a feminine voice, that's enough to make you pass. So, you may or may not need FFS. I don't know what you look like. And start or continue HRT which will help as well. Don't lose hope.

Whether you pass or not, even if you don't, it's no reason to kill yourself. So don't do it!

I hope Tracy posts again soon. This kinda worries me.

As I'd tell anyone who's taller than 6ft, over 300lbs, and has extremely large hands, feet, and facial bones, is to make sure you don't have Acromegaly, a growth disorder that 1 in 6 people develope sometime in life, even if for a short period. It causes both men and women to develope the "Fred Flinstone" stature and face, and ultimately, the overproduction of growth hormones the disorder produces distroyes the eyesight and various organs. All of the natal women diagnosed with it really do look like badly passing Transmen, and if you have it, the support groups you can join feature real women who look just like you. Of coarse, Trans groups always feature many badly passing folks, and it can help finding another gal to tackle a masculine appearance with together.

I've personally never have been in a romance relationship (and rarely a sexual one) because no matter which way I slice it, the straight-acting, confident, stereotyical "guys" that I fall in love with just have always tols me I'm too ugly and manly to date or be seen as beautiful. The nicer guys have said "Well, you're handsome guy, but if I ever dated a guy, they'dd have to look like a real girl." Not looking female effects young people the most, as the most bullying occurs then, and because many natal females get veey masculine looking later in life, allowing for more freedom on the Trans side. I say hang in there and try so many things to immerse yourself into until you can afford facial surgery or you find new ways to look more female. I would suggest big hair, big purses, a grand image. It's what Italian girls do to compensate for their dad's honkers, chins, and manly stature. Unless you want to, I'd def stay away from a ->-bleeped-<- image though - you gotta make sure theres a lot of natural colors and styles about your look if you want to look most in place and not stand out.

Not to be an arse, but telling a severaly depressed T-person that "Oh there are loads of women that looks like you", are not what the person needing help wants to hear. She already knows it and she has very apparently no wish to look like that but wants advice on what to do about it lest she gives up completely.

To Tracey: Don't give up. There are alot of medical help, if you got the money. The size of the cranium itself you can't do anything about at all, but, you can have professional facial feminisation done, which in its turn will make a huge difference to your cranial look, to the point that the actual size of the cranium will no longer be any cosmetic problem.

What concerns your feet, it is nowadays possible to have them surgically altered and loose a couple of sizes by cutting out pieces of the bones in the toes and heel. However, it is ofcourse better if you solve the problem with just shopping larger sizes on the web, as their are hundreds of shoestores on the web selling large sizes.
Regarding your height, you can have it cut down with atleast a few inches by removing a piece of the femur. This is done by an Ortopedic surgeon, but be prepared on having to pay a good sum for it, as it is not cheap.

In short, if you have the money, there are lots that you can do to defeat the things with your looks that you are depressed about, and if you don't have the money- get them. Take a loan, sell your house or do whatever it takes. Your life and mental health comes first-hand.

I wish you the best of luck.

Tracey- Here's another thing to remember: you could be surrounded by ass-holes! Are you in a part of the country which is hostile, cowardly, repressed and basically full of knuckle-heads? ( I know that could sound like anywhere these days--) but I cannot suggest strongly enough how getting away from abusive folks can change your life. If it is even remotely an option, I would suggest exploring it.

I'm a pretty big girl too... 6' in stocking feet and just under 200 lbs. Don't foget most runway models from the 1950s to today were hired because they were almost 6'. I'm working on dumping about 30 pounds ASAP, so I get it. I am going to try for the long lean look. It works with what I have got already. Maybe it could work for you. Keep writing here at the forums- isolation is no good in this way of being... Good luck and beware of Mind Poison...

Lexi

Hey Tracy, this probably isn't any comfort to you, but I can't blend in either. It's usually not for gender reasons, but it still gets tiring. My daughter twitches and talks to herself, and even when she's acting pretty normal and age-appropriate, she has a pretty outlandish fashion sense. When I'm tired I have a visible limp (I hike, and get stopped by people who think I'm injured). We tend to carry and take medications in public. I use food stamps which cause slowdowns at market registers. I fish things out of dumpsters (some people are crazy wasteful). I have no car so I often transport strange loads on foot or on buses. We gather and carry plants and insects all over the place. Plus my ID doesn't match my presentation. Etc. I get stares and questions daily.

I know some of that is behavior we could change, but none of it is worth changing, and so I just put up with standing out all the time. When I'm doing well I even have fun with it sometimes, but I often wish we just didn't get noticed so much.

Best of luck to you.

Quote from: Felix on November 27, 2011, 04:40:20 PM
Hey Tracy, this probably isn't any comfort to you, but I can't blend in either. It's usually not for gender reasons, but it still gets tiring. My daughter twitches and talks to herself, and even when she's acting pretty normal and age-appropriate, she has a pretty outlandish fashion sense. When I'm tired I have a visible limp (I hike, and get stopped by people who think I'm injured). We tend to carry and take medications in public. I use food stamps which cause slowdowns at market registers. I fish things out of dumpsters (some people are crazy wasteful). I have no car so I often transport strange loads on foot or on buses. We gather and carry plants and insects all over the place. Plus my ID doesn't match my presentation. Etc. I get stares and questions daily.

I know some of that is behavior we could change, but none of it is worth changing, and so I just put up with standing out all the time. When I'm doing well I even have fun with it sometimes, but I often wish we just didn't get noticed so much.

Best of luck to you.

I have a hell of a time trying to get my perscriptions, i have a card that entitles me not to pay but its in my boy-name, my perscriptions are labeled my girl name (despite me raising the point it could cause problems if it was changed on them before i legally changed my name). id say 3/4 times i go to collect i run into some sort of difficulty aquiring my medication (that stopes me from dying and ting)

It depends upon what you want to blend in as.

I have the same concerns being heavy set, wide shouldered, and just as tall.  But I'm hoping laser and hormones help to change all of that.  I've done cosplay and things at conventions, and the only give away apparently was my stubble.  But laser should help there.

It can be really hard to just accept those types of physical attributes that just can't be changed, but once you do it makes life so much easier.

Look to a lot of tall female-born folks. They're often quite confident with themselves (and a lot I see even wear heels which make them even taller). It's that confidence that really does it though. You can go around in life trying to hide and sulk away but that really just leads to being bummed out and depressed.

I'm the type that often stands out either because of my clothes or my hair or the fact I can be really androgynous. I've gotten used to it.

Today I passed less than usual. I'm coming to terms with the belief that it's nobody's decision but my own what gender I am, and if people get it wrong, it's okay to correct them, and the disconnect isn't near as interesting as I think it is.

Well Tracy, if it is any consolation I'm likely going to be in the same boat. I'm 6'2, a little over 200 lbs, and have big feet and hands also. I'm not worried about facial features or hair because I know HRT and laser can take care of that. Much like Felix I already stand out even when presenting as male, I'm awkwardly shy, I stutter a lot, I have a strangely feminine voice (which is great for when I transition but as of now people look at me funny), I'm embarrassingly clumsy, my best friend who I live with is a GG and she's very tall and awkward and has health issues including severe coughing fits which often gets us stared at. I just learn to ignore other people and plow through, usually people will realize they look like just as much of an idiot for staring so rudely and look away. Or you could always go the route my sister goes and tell em to take a picture and look the f&#k away lol.