Kia Ora,

Just a poll to find out when members knew 100% they were [excuse the cliche] 'born into the wrong body'...What I mean by this is, prior to hearing the term 'transsexual' when were you convinced you were meant to be the opposite sex ?  I don't mean just feeling weird/confused about your gender; "I'm feeling weird about my body and feelings, but I don't quite know why ?" not that kind of knowing,[many of us have experienced this at a very young age]...More like "WOW ! Perhaps I was born into the wrong body and should have been a girl !"

I was 19 when it struck me, however it took many years of self denial before my metamorphosis was 'complete'...So my answer to the poll's question would be around 19 [late teens]...

So how about you ? When did it hit home ?

Were you an early bird ? Or late riser[realiser] ?

Metta Zenda

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was presenting the wrong gender by the age of five.

My convictions had been confirmed during the first stages of puberty when I had things happen to me, physiologically, that normal 12 year old boys did not go through.

Quote from: Annah on December 15, 2011, 10:11:12 PM
I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was presenting the wrong gender by the age of five.

My convictions had been confirmed during the first stages of puberty when I had things happen to me, physiologically, that normal 12 year old boys did not go through.

Kia Ora Annah,

What was that ?

Metta Zenda

lol i would rather not say right now

When I was about five, I'd felt odd before that, in knowing I was like my sister, but I don't think I knew that my sister was any different to me before that. But she was wearing dresses and playing with dolls, I was playing with dolls but not wearing dresses and I sort of remember being odd.

Memories at that age are not accurate of course but I do recall some of it, possibly because it would have been a trauma experience.

When I was very young, at least 6 or so (I could read). I got out my mom's baby-book journal for my birth and was searching through it for evidence that she had a daughter, but they made the decision that they wanted a boy. Kind of eternally kicking myself now, at that point it should have been "DUH!" but I've pushed it down because I don't like to cause trouble Also, Ru Paul scared me when I was younger, maybe that had an effect.

In retrospect, I think I subconsciously knew all my life, but it wasn't until the tail end of my thirties when I finally figured out what it was that had always felt so "off" all those years.  Now I have to deal with wanting to transition "right the f*** now!" while having to face the realities of the real world. I put on a wonderful air of patience most of the time, but inside I just want to scream in frustration at how slow things are progressing right now.

Dana, I just laughed out loud at your post I'm only 23, but I can definitely relate to your feelings of everything moving so slow! I just want to come out to everyone at once, say deal with it, get a recommendation for HRT, hit the lottery, speed up time and be done. Entirely unrealistic and rash, but it's about time I have direction in this! Now I'm just worried I won't be able to afford/get approval for the things I need to do. The more I think about it the more I know I need it, and the worse I feel when I realize the timeline...

Quote from: Dana_H on December 16, 2011, 05:15:34 AM
In retrospect, I think I subconsciously knew all my life, but it wasn't until the tail end of my thirties when I finally figured out what it was that had always felt so "off" all those years.  Now I have to deal with wanting to transition "right the f*** now!" while having to face the realities of the real world. I put on a wonderful air of patience most of the time, but inside I just want to scream in frustration at how slow things are progressing right now.

I think that's a pretty close description of where I am (though a little earlier in my thirties). And the funny thing is, I'll sometimes think of things from my past, when I would get so close, "feeling like a girl," and things like that, and... I think, growing up in a small town, I assumed that this was so rare that of course it couldn't be me. And also the fact that it hasn't made me suicidal... I'd think "it has to be worse" to do something about it.

Yeah, I want to transition. But I'm so scared of the consequences, especially since I work for a church. This congregation is so conservative that I can't imagine transitioning while working here. But it seems only a matter of "when," not "if." Transition will happen.

I've know since I was about 4 or so. One of my earliest memories was watching a kids show and there was someone on it who was making things happen with their mind, I thought "I can do that" and tried to use my mind to change myself, it didn't work.

I had to see transwomen to understand it.
Before that day (at age 9) I just knew there was something very off and wrong. I couldn't put my finger on what.
Then I saw a Donahue show that featured trans women.
I knew right then I was just like the women on the panel.
I mussed to myself I wans't a woman in a mans body, I was a girl in a boys body.
By the time I was 16 I knew for a fact that some day I would transition, it just took me until I was 41 to get off my butt and do something about it.

Kia Ora,

A link to another related poll/thread...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,112378.0.html

Metta Zenda

QuoteWhen did you know 'for sure' ?

I cannot recall a specific age, but it was my early twenties.

Quote from: cynthialee on December 16, 2011, 05:14:21 PM
I had to see transwomen to understand it.
Before that day (at age 9) I just knew there was something very off and wrong. I couldn't put my finger on what.
Then I saw a Donahue show that featured trans women.
I knew right then I was just like the women on the panel.
I mussed to myself I wans't a woman in a mans body, I was a girl in a boys body.
By the time I was 16 I knew for a fact that some day I would transition, it just took me until I was 41 to get off my butt and do something about it.

I wonder if thats the same Donahue episode that I saw? Thats episode made me realize it was possible to do something about it.
I'm also 41, just started to get off my butt too.

Quote from: michelle666 on December 17, 2011, 03:39:42 AM
I wonder if thats the same Donahue episode that I saw? Thats episode made me realize it was possible to do something about it.
I'm also 41, just started to get off my butt too.

Maybe, wouldn't that be interesting?

The episode that triggered it for me had a panel of 5 post op women. 3 of them had bad surgical results. One of them had a half way decent result and only one of them had what could be considered a good surgical result.
The point of the show was that even though the majority of the women on the panel had a poor surgical outcome they were all happy with the fact they transitioned.

I knew right then and there that I didn't care if I had a lousy end result, I wanted the surgery imediatly.
Just took me a long assed time to do anything about it.....

Quote from: cynthialee on December 17, 2011, 06:22:30 PM
Maybe, wouldn't that be interesting?

The episode that triggered it for me had a panel of 5 post op women. 3 of them had bad surgical results. One of them had a half way decent result and only one of them had what could be considered a good surgical result.
The point of the show was that even though the majority of the women on the panel had a poor surgical outcome they were all happy with the fact they transitioned.

I knew right then and there that I didn't care if I had a lousy end result, I wanted the surgery imediatly.
Just took me a long assed time to do anything about it.....

It might be the same show, there was one girl on there who was on the younger side, she had long dark wavy-ish hair and she said that she had a bad outcome from having sex right after surgery and she didnt any feeling down there at all.

Quote from: openheart on December 16, 2011, 05:56:20 AM
I think that's a pretty close description of where I am (though a little earlier in my thirties). And the funny thing is, I'll sometimes think of things from my past, when I would get so close, "feeling like a girl," and things like that, and... I think, growing up in a small town, I assumed that this was so rare that of course it couldn't be me. And also the fact that it hasn't made me suicidal... I'd think "it has to be worse" to do something about it.

I can remember even in elementary school hearing the usual "sex change" jokes, but it never really impacted on my consciousness that switching from one to the other was actually a real possibility. I spent most of my life feeling that there was something not quite right with me, but I could never put a name to it. As I got older, I just chalked it up to being a geek. It wasn't until much later in life that various circumstances brought transgender/transsexualism into my active awareness, as I've discussed elsewhere.

Now that I understand better, I think back on things like building a kit dollhouse for my sister one Christmas and how much I wished I could have one (not permitted), or the many times my sister and I would dress up in my grandmother's outfits when we were little (I never seemed to feel any interest whatsoever in raiding my grandfather's closet in similar fashion), and so much about my early life makes sooo much more sense in a transgender context.

Of course, the real clincher was when I started being aware of myself as female in my dreams and how calm and happy I felt after those dreams. I'm not always aware of my gender in my dreams, but when I do I am invariably a woman.

Sometimes, I feel a real sense of loss that I was not able to grow up as a girl and experience high school and college as a young woman. Those doors are forever closed to me (in this lifetime, anyhoo). Even if I were to transition and go back to college for another degree as a woman, it would be a very different experience.

 I knew for sure when I started hormones at seventeen. However, I knew that I was trans pre-teen; I just had no way to prove it.

I knew I was gay at 11, trans at the same time too.

In my world, they are as one.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 12:39:08 AM
I knew I was gay at 11, trans at the same time too.

In my world, they are as one.

Kia Ora Elle,

Very interesting  Most intriguing....

A serious question[and yes at times I am serious, well sort of as best as I can be under the present circumstances] Are you seeing a gender therapist ? And if so have you told them about your self identification ? [That is "gayboy"-"transgirl"  split/blended persona ] What do/did they have to say about it ?

I'm just being nosy, so you don't really have to answer this....But if you want to be my guest...

Metta Zenda