As in, "This is <insert name>. Oh, she is transgender, FYI."

Or "Can I tell him/her that you are trans?"

Good or bad (if you are out, that is)?

Hmm, that'd be pretty rude.
Even if the person I'm being introduced me to could tell, it would still be mean haha.

Yeah, im out and open about it, but it is getting annoying to be introduced as "This is ......  oh, she is transgender, by the way."

exxxxcccuussseee me - I would rather just be introduced as simply my name without that extra info-add-on, heh.

I'd likely lose a friend in short order. Its rude to out someone like that. And you'd have to wonder just what your friend actually accepts you as, wouldn't you? 

I mean, seriously, how would they like it if I were to introduce them and say "oh, they have a drinking problem" or bring up some other irrelevant information that your friend might not want everyone to know? 

Quote from: Jaime on December 17, 2011, 10:44:14 AM
I'd likely lose a friend in short order. Its rude to out someone like that. And you'd have to wonder just what your friend actually accepts you as, wouldn't you? 

I mean, seriously, how would they like it if I were to introduce them and say "oh, they have a drinking problem" or bring up some other irrelevant information that your friend might not want everyone to know?

well, i meant if you are OUT And OPEN About it... of course it would be awful if you were not and your friend introduced you as "Trans".


You know, some people want a "token friend" so they can say they are open minded, as "Oh , I have a black friend"....

"Oh, I have a friend who is trans." lol

OR... some people mean well but just want to ensure others know that you used to be a man.

I remember showing up to a bar last summer to meet some friends - I caught this guy I dislike signing - from where I was entering the bar (since American Sign Language is visible and readable from a distance, heh) -  to another new guy that I never met before ....

He signed, "FYI, that is really a man."

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 17, 2011, 10:48:54 AM
well, i meant if you are OUT And OPEN About it... of course it would be awful if you were not and your friend introduced you as "Trans".

I am pretty out considering I live and work in the same small town I lived in for more than 10 years before I started transition 7 years ago. But  most people will see you as "other" as soon as they hear you are trans and that can easily affect how they will behave around you when initially meeting you and how much effort they may put into actually getting to know you. I'd just as soon not have that stumbling block put in the way upfront, especially by a supposed friend.

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 17, 2011, 10:48:54 AM

OR... some people mean well but just want to ensure others know that you used to be a man.

and those obviously don't accept you as a woman either and I certainly wouldn't consider it meaning well, at least not on your behalf, but most likely on the behalf of whoever they are introducing you to so they don't get "deceived."     

My friends have never introduced in that manner so I don't know for sure how I would feel, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be happy. I am out and proud and tell most people I meet eventually. I just like to do it on my time after I am comfortable they are going to be responsible with the information and not wait around until after the party to kick my ass. If your friend doesn't get this you really need to look for a solution of some kind.

Huggs

Emily

thats annoying, and rude, its as if your life is just a big juicy gossip fest for them.

My friends always introduce me as female. Never alluding to my TSness.

Except for my ex boyfriend. He's like, "She used to be my ex boyfriend" around gay friends.

My friends introduce me as Carmen (my real female name), at that point the other person knows that i am transsexual 

a personn who introduces u that way shouldn't b called a friend.
that's really rude.

Eh, my only true friend is overseas.  He is not a fan of my transitioning as he had a thing for me prior to, so I can only assume he'd still introduce me as a guy; also considering I present more androgynous than female currently, I'm sure he'd use that to his advantage.  Regardless, I don't meet new people anyways so, really no need for me to worry.

QuoteHow do you feel when your friends introduce you...

If it were to happen and male pronouns/name were used, I'd be offended and pissed but I wouldn't make a big deal about it at the time.  In private afterwards, I'd speak with my friend about it.

One time one of my ex's friends was like, "Oh ***** is that Ricky? I am sure you penetrate him in the front"

That was totally inappropriote. But I let it slide...In later after a few MoHos and plenty of hair gel.

I never had anyone do that to me. They did the proper thing and did it behind my back!

Cindi

Ya see if they ask me if it's ok, like hey there's this guy that knew the old you and I think I should talk to him about you cause hes coming over.  But I would feel crushed other wise.   I could understand they don't get that it hurt, but it would hurt

Hi,

Sorry for hijacking your thread MsDazzle. I was just looking for advice. A friend of mine transitioned some time ago (a couple of years) but I keep accidentally referring to her as a he/him (partly because I've only seen her a few times since she transitioned as we live in different towns now) and even though I immediately apologise and correct myself, I can see how much it hurts her and hurts her friends and family when they are there. She is such a beautiful person, someone I really admire and respect and hurting her is the last thing I want to do. Has anyone ever known someone that has experienced this problem? Do you know whether they found anything that helped them? I know as we have more contact with each other, it will eventually become automatic to refer to her as her and she all the time but I just hate the thought of causing her anymore pain in the meantime.

Any help or suggestions you can provide will be greatly appreciated.

Quote from: August_Rose on December 18, 2011, 04:18:07 AM


Any help or suggestions you can provide will be greatly appreciated.

stop being a ->-bleeped-<- spotter and see your friend as a woman.

They always mess up on either my name, the pronouns or both.
Might as well punch me in the face.

I just wanna smack them in the back of the head sometimes.
Knock some sense into them.

Quote from: August_Rose on December 18, 2011, 04:18:07 AM
Hi,

Sorry for hijacking your thread MsDazzle. I was just looking for advice. A friend of mine transitioned some time ago (a couple of years) but I keep accidentally referring to her as a he/him (partly because I've only seen her a few times since she transitioned as we live in different towns now) and even though I immediately apologise and correct myself, I can see how much it hurts her and hurts her friends and family when they are there. She is such a beautiful person, someone I really admire and respect and hurting her is the last thing I want to do. Has anyone ever known someone that has experienced this problem? Do you know whether they found anything that helped them? I know as we have more contact with each other, it will eventually become automatic to refer to her as her and she all the time but I just hate the thought of causing her anymore pain in the meantime.

Any help or suggestions you can provide will be greatly appreciated.

it takes time... dont fret too much over it, it will come as second nature.

and dont worry about hijacking my thread - you are just chiming in!