Sorry, I'll have to be "heterosexist" here and pose a question that is probably only relevant to the hetero ladies here, not the lesbian ones.

From a heterosexual woman to another one, I am sure you have noticed that men can vary enormously in their reactions to your trans status. Some get violent, some get fascinated, some get disinterested, some fall in love.

What qualities do you think a hetero man need to possess to make him more likely to accept you for being trans?

I can think of one quality already - If the hetero man is already involved in the LGBT community or hitting the gay bars, that is a good sign that he will be more accepting of you and possibly even interested in you (as you ll hardly have any competition from other ladies in a gay bar, lol).

Desperation? 

Quote from: Jaime on December 27, 2011, 12:47:44 PM
Desperation?

Kia Ora Jamie,

That cracked me right up  But none the less true for some no doubt....

Metta Zenda

Many of the men I've been with are actively dating. I am just another girl to them, if they know or don't know. Since they are 30+, things are more "I want a commitment" type of thing.

I think some men are more open to it than others. But I bet every hetero single man has flirted, dated, picked up on a ts without knowing. It's a matter of how they react. Straight men's heterosexuality is a fragile thing. I've yet to meet a man who sticks around after he puts the clues together or I come out to him.

Some men are into it, you know because a lot of drag queens look hotter than real chicks(REALLY!) and they put GG's to shame, etc.

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 27, 2011, 12:32:08 PM


I can think of one quality already - If the hetero man is already involved in the LGBT community or hitting the gay bars, that is a good sign that he will be more accepting of you and possibly even interested in you (as you ll hardly have any competition from other ladies in a gay bar, lol).

Kia Ora Ms Daz,

Now I'm aware there are places of socialising where gay, trans and straight people meet and mingle, in my early twenties I used to go to a number of bars and clubs in Sydney that were 'people' friendly... But I'm somewhat intrigued ...Why would a so called  'straight' guy be involved in the 'LGBT' community and frequent bars that are 'specifically'  gay ? Or do you mean bars that are open to diversity[like the ones I mentioned above] ? What came to mind when I first read your post was, they must be  "on the down low"...

Metta Zenda

Kia Ora,

"What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"

If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...

Metta Zenda      

They'd have to have somewhat of a thick skin to put up with comments from their friends if you are known as being trans.  That's a lot of the issue where I live, even if someone doesn't know and wants to go out with me, someone will inevitably "warn" them, you know, kind of like a public service.   

Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
Kia Ora,

"What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"

If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...

Metta Zenda    

Pretty much echoes my sentiments and actual experiences.

Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...

I has a condition?

I thought I was a femmie gay boy that went too far and here I just thought I was a diva.

Someone confident in who they are (and presents well) will be surrounded by people who accept them for who they are and what they like.

Because they are confident in themselves, they will be open about themselves.... which means those who have a problem will have moved on, and those who respect them will still be there.

This is why I will only date a guy who is open about themselves (like I am). They don't need to worry about work or their friends making fun of them or peer pressure... because... they don't really deal too much with those things.

This type of guy will be able to openly date me as they would anyone else. No one they know is going to try to mock them (because, this type of person wouldn't put up with that). They demand respect, and get it.

All of my friends will stand up for trans people (even though they are all 'straight'). They would never try to mock me for dating someone who isn't their type. I know first hand what type of life a confident and open person has around them. Even relative strangers at work or school would never start mocking me or my personal life knowingly (there have been a couple instances of people making negative comment about trans people...which was followed by me lecturing them... and I'm very confident they won't be making the same mistake again).

So, the type of man that is more likely to accept me as trans? Well, basically a confident guy who likes what he sees. If he is interested in me, he is going to go after me... he isn't going to worry about what people would say... 

Rabbit is basically saying an ALPHA MALE.

Quote from: Jaime on December 27, 2011, 12:47:44 PM
Desperation?

lol, true - that is one possible reason. Applies only to ugly, fat, and balding guys, eh?

Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:19:15 PM
Kia Ora Ms Daz,

Now I'm aware there are places of socialising where gay, trans and straight people meet and mingle, in my early twenties I used to go to a number of bars and clubs in Sydney that were 'people' friendly... But I'm somewhat intrigued ...Why would a so called  'straight' guy be involved in the 'LGBT' community and frequent bars that are 'specifically'  gay ? Or do you mean bars that are open to diversity[like the ones I mentioned above] ? What came to mind when I first read your post was, they must be  "on the down low"...

Metta Zenda

Ever heard of "ally"? Straight people do get involved in the LGBT community and go out to gay bars as allies. That kind of open-mindness prefaces the possibility of being open to transgender women too, IMHO.

Quote from: Rabbit on December 27, 2011, 03:02:08 PM
Someone confident in who they are (and presents well) will be surrounded by people who accept them for who they are and what they like.

Because they are confident in themselves, they will be open about themselves.... which means those who have a problem will have moved on, and those who respect them will still be there.

This is why I will only date a guy who is open about themselves (like I am). They don't need to worry about work or their friends making fun of them or peer pressure... because... they don't really deal too much with those things.

This type of guy will be able to openly date me as they would anyone else. No one they know is going to try to mock them (because, this type of person wouldn't put up with that). They demand respect, and get it.

All of my friends will stand up for trans people (even though they are all 'straight'). They would never try to mock me for dating someone who isn't their type. I know first hand what type of life a confident and open person has around them. Even relative strangers at work or school would never start mocking me or my personal life knowingly (there have been a couple instances of people making negative comment about trans people...which was followed by me lecturing them... and I'm very confident they won't be making the same mistake again).

So, the type of man that is more likely to accept me as trans? Well, basically a confident guy who likes what he sees. If he is interested in me, he is going to go after me... he isn't going to worry about what people would say...

So to sum it up, another quality the man would need to have is to have high self-confidence?

Quote from: Zenda on December 27, 2011, 01:48:55 PM
Kia Ora,

"What makes a man more likely to accept you as trans?"

If you look somewhat like your target gender, that is, your appearance does not greatly challenge the observer's concept of gender and you have other qualities that appeal to his senses, and or he's a new age, laid back kind of guy, comfortable in his own skin so to speak, then it's more than likely acceptance of ones congenital condition 'should' be guaranteed...

Metta Zenda    

Aint that true! The prettier you are, the more "feminine" you are, and the stronger your female presentation comes off as, it will up your chances of being accepted by a straight guy.

Sounds like a question to ask Tigger actually. Why not ask him?

a womb.

Quote from: fionabell on December 27, 2011, 04:33:44 PM
a womb.

Heh, good one! I assume you mean if the MAN has the womb right? Otherwise there'd be confusion!

Quote from: Keaira on December 27, 2011, 04:15:41 PM
Sounds like a question to ask Tigger actually. Why not ask him?

Tigger who?

Quote from: Assoluta on December 27, 2011, 05:31:18 PM
Heh, good one! I assume you mean if the MAN has the womb right? Otherwise there'd be confusion!

Not really. You can have srs and still look clockable trans.