so im kind of confused because i was talking to an old friend of mine...

first of all, i always get those "im not a guy! i was born in the wrong body, im a woman"-thoughts when im feeling down.

which was quite often in the last 2 years.

i had those thoughts also before i knew i was gay (cuz of the stereotypical meaning of a gay-guy i thought its normal for me to think so, so those thoughts didnt bother me)

i was a goodlooking guy with lots of friends and i seriously did some awesome ->-bleeped-<-, but then all of sudden when my grandmother died i couldn't help it anymore.

i ate to make me feel better, which made me loose friends (fake friends, lots of them) and which made me feel ugly (well sorry but 6feet tall and 240lbs, that's just grosssssss)

now i dont know what to believe anymore.

idk but i just cant imagine myself IF i was happy if i was again this skinny-->-bleeped-<--stylish guy everyone knew.

am i so shallow?! is the only thing i want being "goodlooking" i thought its not but if i remember those old times.. damn!.. those were nice days.


it'd be nice if you could give me any advice or if you felt the same w/e, just be honest.

thanks for reading~

Quotewell sorry but 6feet tall and 240lbs, that's just grosssssss

Well excuuuuuuuuse me....I'm 6' and 240 lbs...and I'm not gross!

Instead of a super-size dose of self-pity, I decided (as a new year's resolution) that I *WILL* lose 5 lbs/month...which means by the end of the year, I will NOT be 240 lbs...I'll be more like 180, give or take a bit.

5 lbs is easy breezy to lose...first, stop all drinking of soft drinks, and most alcohol. Second, fill your plate as per normal...then strip off 1/3 of everything except veggies from the plate.

Third, walk 1-3 miles a day...build up to it if you have to.

Presto, 5 lbs lost within a month. Repeat as needed.

Happy New Year, 2013!

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 04, 2012, 10:18:40 PM
Well excuuuuuuuuse me....I'm 6' and 240 lbs...and I'm not gross!

Instead of a super-size dose of self-pity, I decided (as a new year's resolution) that I *WILL* lose 5 lbs/month...which means by the end of the year, I will NOT be 240 lbs...I'll be more like 180, give or take a bit.

5 lbs is easy breezy to lose...first, stop all drinking of soft drinks, and most alcohol. Second, fill your plate as per normal...then strip off 1/3 of everything except veggies from the plate.

Third, walk 1-3 miles a day...build up to it if you have to.

Presto, 5 lbs lost within a month. Repeat as needed.

Happy New Year, 2013!

well loosing weight is not my problem, because im not gaining more. means if i do sports again and eat like 200-300kcals less than i should per day, i'd definately loose alot of weight in a year.


im asking myself, should i really just stop all this transgender process, focus on loosing weight - wear my old clothes and pretend like nothing happened?

im scared, that some years later i'll regret not doing transition, that it was wrong thinking i could be happy with pretending "everythings fine cuz im a shallow goodlooking ->-bleeped-<-got"

Talk to a therapist, see if transition is right for you.

Quote from: Natalie <3 on January 04, 2012, 11:08:48 PM
Talk to a therapist, see if transition is right for you.

the only transgender hrt-therapist gave me an appointment in summer. so i kind of am lost right now.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 04, 2012, 10:18:40 PM
Well excuuuuuuuuse me....I'm 6' and 240 lbs...and I'm not gross!

Instead of a super-size dose of self-pity, I decided (as a new year's resolution) that I *WILL* lose 5 lbs/month...which means by the end of the year, I will NOT be 240 lbs...I'll be more like 180, give or take a bit.

5 lbs is easy breezy to lose...first, stop all drinking of soft drinks, and most alcohol. Second, fill your plate as per normal...then strip off 1/3 of everything except veggies from the plate.

Third, walk 1-3 miles a day...build up to it if you have to.

Presto, 5 lbs lost within a month. Repeat as needed.

Happy New Year, 2013!

amen to that! 

On xmas day I began to walk 3 miles per day, 3 times a week.  I'm 5'9"  280!  I'm determined to lose that 5 lbs a month too.  I'm trying to get in shape to lower my blood pressure and to help me on my journey with HRT.


I'm done with excuses to look good.  I would suggest that you take care of yourself and be happy.

You have a few separate issues here by the sound of it. 

A Gender Therapist can help with the Trans stuff.  A Psychiatrist is better then a Psychologist, who is better than a Therapist, but anyone who knows the subject would be a help.

Weight is a health issue, how you look is irrelevant if your heart attack risk  is increased.  Steady exercise like walking or cycling a few times a week will do it, if you keep at it.  Cutting down on fat and sugar intake is a big help too, but don't deny yourself a SMALL treat very occaissionally, as a  pleasant diversion, not a reward.

As you lose weight and get fitter you will feel better about yourself and have more confidence.  That, coupled with the endorphins will help alleviate your depression, and a psych can help here as well.

You can do it.  It's a matter of asking , "what is needed here?" and doing it.
Karen.

Quote...i was a goodlooking guy with lots of friends and i seriously did some awesome ->-bleeped-<-, but then all of sudden when my grandmother died i couldn't help it anymore.

i ate to make me feel better, which made me loose friends (fake friends, lots of them) and which made me feel ugly (well sorry but 6feet tall and 240lbs, that's just grosssssss)

now i dont know what to believe anymore.

idk but i just cant imagine myself IF i was happy if i was again this skinny-->-bleeped-<--stylish guy everyone knew.

am i so shallow?! is the only thing i want being "goodlooking" i thought its not but if i remember those old times.. damn!.. those were nice days....

Welll, first of all, my condolences to you about your grandmother. Sounds like you and her were close. *hugs*

Second, you mentioned you had "lots of friends", but lost them once you gained weight. You're right, they are "fake" friends. I'm sure you had a ton of fun (no pun intended) with them, too. But if they were fake--but you didn't know it at the time--then those memories shouldn't be revered as much.

Third, it's ok to want to be good looking. Vanity is good, as long as it doesn't rule your life. (imho)

And lastly...you may or may not to transition at this time...this tells me you shouldn't, at least until you talk to someone about gender issues specifically. (Note that this issue is separate from any depression you may be having due to your grandmother's death.)

So, yeah...I can just give *hugs*, so there it is.

Take care.

 

Quote from: Zarania on January 03, 2012, 04:33:45 PM

is this guy even trying?

because it doesnt seem like it..

sorry if my honesty hurts you.

~ hugs
aeron.

when i saw you posted that on my topic when i was looking for support, it did hurt.
We shouldn't make assumptions about people and their transitions.
Hope things improve for you and you figure everything out. Losing someone can really turn someone's life inside out.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 04, 2012, 10:18:40 PM
Well excuuuuuuuuse me....I'm 6' and 240 lbs...and I'm not gross!

Instead of a super-size dose of self-pity, I decided (as a new year's resolution) that I *WILL* lose 5 lbs/month...which means by the end of the year, I will NOT be 240 lbs...I'll be more like 180, give or take a bit.

5 lbs is easy breezy to lose...first, stop all drinking of soft drinks, and most alcohol. Second, fill your plate as per normal...then strip off 1/3 of everything except veggies from the plate.

Third, walk 1-3 miles a day...build up to it if you have to.

Presto, 5 lbs lost within a month. Repeat as needed.

Happy New Year, 2013!

Good plan.