That's wonderful Jeneva, glad everything is coming along for you. 

Quote from: Michelle Hayden on January 12, 2012, 10:14:50 AM
Dr Z usually advocates fat transfer for the cheeks, and I have seen it done on a person and myself and I know they are not "overdone".  He is very easy to talk to, and if you do not want alot put in, he wont.  I do not know where you  are getting this "piggish look" for the nose, as it is just not the case.   Not many have the endoscopic experience of Dr Z even in the world, let alone the USA.  He is a very good surgeon with FFS and aggressive.  I have had him also do my BA and imo, he is the best at doing MTF BA in the US, because he takes into account the rib cage and frame of a MTF is different than in  a genetic females and most of the surgeon's in the USA do not know how to do them appropriately. which will make you end up with a huge gap between your breasts.  Dr Z was the only surgeon that got it right and with mine you can barely put one finger between them, even without a bra on..I went with the Mentor Brand medium profile smooth round 600cc  implants, but i am 5'6".. If you are taller and broader than that is perhaps the reason for larger ones, unless you are just wanting them larger.  Dr Toby Mayer did revision on my nose, as I initially had Dr. Ousterhaut in San Francisco do it and it was not what I wanted.  Dr. Toby Mayer of Beverly Hills, CA in my opinion is the very best at rhinoplasty and in doing anything with the eyes.  The very main thing to think about before doing anything is if your wife is really conducive to you doing this,  or is she just appeasing you, because she knows you want this.?  If she is doing it only because she loves you and wants you to be happy, please consider her.  I know you may think you are, but as all pre ops know..after you transition, there is no going back, and your wife's feelings for you may very well change, even if she says she is ok with it.  After, she might likely switch completely.  I am not saying you have not thought this out, but transition is a very selfish thing and many overlook the potential ramifications that could happen after.   Take heed in what I am saying, because unless your wife is bi, she will most likely not want intimacy later or even consider separation or divorce later after you have transitioned.  You have to ask yourself "Is this all worth it"??  Is the potential for loosing everything you had with her worth it?  I do not, nor would I ever judge anyone's relationship, as I do not know, but speaking from experience, even if your wife seems agreeable now, later she can and may very well change her feelings, especially if she is hetro.   Think about what you had as man and wife and about her true feelings inside and not just the me part..Other than that, Dr. Z is about the best FFS surgeon in the US.  The only other FFS surgeon is Dr. Di Maggio in Buenos Aries.  My face is a product mostly of Dr. Z and Dr Mayer for the rhinoplasty. If you would like to see profile and other pics of my face, just pm me. 

I am so sorry that your marriage didn't work out.  I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  I do feel very insulted by your faulty analysis of me and our marriage.  Just because your marriage didn't work out, doesn't mean that you have to project an atmosphere of gloom and doom to the rest of the community.  I am perfectly fine with Jeneva's COMPLETE transition, including GRS.  As a matter of fact, I can't wait until I can give her the physical pleasure that she gives me all the time.  Love and marriage is about more than labels and the way people have sex.  I think labels are irrelevant.  Call me bi, lesbian, or whatever new term you want to invent.  I really don't care. As far as your comment about thinking about what we had as a man and women, thanks to hrt, we haven't had THAT type of relationship in over a year.  As I've told several close friends and her therapist, "We've had better Lesbian sex than we ever had Hetero sex!"  All I know is that I married my best friend over fourteen years ago.  I am still married to that same sweet soul. Yeah, I'm sure there are some wives who just can't handle the situation, but I'm not one of them.  I have never seen Jeneva as happy as she has been just before and since FFS.  I'm so glad that she is so happy.  Sure, there will always be people who are total ->-bleeped-<-s to us because of the transgender issue.  Believe me, I have dealt with plenty since we came out to the world on September 5, 2011.  I am getting really tired of defending why I didn't divorce the person that I love.  We live in upper East TN., in the middle of the f@#$@ bible belt.  I don't know where you are, but hopefully you are not somewhere as backwards as this place. By the way, there is such a thing as self-fulfilling prophesy.  I do believe a positive attitude goes a long way.  Thank you for allowing me to put on line some of the stuff that has been seething just under the surface.  This was an awesome way  to vent. I'm a teacher with a very challenging group of kids and when I got home today and saw this, I decided that it was time to totally blast you.  Then I decided not to be mean and do that, so this is the nice version of what I was originally going to post.

Wow, you are badass! Jeneva is a very lucky woman. Now I want to see the mean version...

I think we do tend to assume the worst with relationships persisting through transition, just 'cause it doesn't seem to happen very often for one reason or another. Though you are right of course, nobody should be making assumptions. My own terminated before transition, and I was with a girl who identified as bi and had known I was trans before we got together. Stuff happens, and transition rips up some relationships and improves others. Glad you are on the improves side of things.

Hope Jeneva's recovery continues smoothly for you both.

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 12, 2012, 05:00:23 PM
Wow, you are badass! Jeneva is a very lucky woman. Now I want to see the mean version...

I think we do tend to assume the worst with relationships persisting through transition, just 'cause it doesn't seem to happen very often for one reason or another. Though you are right of course, nobody should be making assumptions. My own terminated before transition, and I was with a girl who identified as bi and had known I was trans before we got together. Stuff happens, and transition rips up some relationships and improves others. Glad you are on the improves side of things.

Hope Jeneva's recovery continues smoothly for you both.

She was going to post and say thanks for the compliment, but the kids jealously watch for together time while they are awake and had a slight altercation to get some attention ;-)

OK, so I don't have the update for the site yet.  I'm going to go ahead and push one in a bit with the staple removal pictures.  I am going to try and make myself include the after the second massage pictures even though I dislike the swelling amount in them if for no other reason than to show what happens if you aren't careful. 

I have had yet another day of MASSIVE swelling of my jaw and to be honest it is starting to wear on me.  I woke at 5 unable to sleep anymore so far upright.  If I sleep upright it gives me a back and neck ache after a while.  At this point I'm considering anything to reduce swelling so I'm back to mostly upright sleeping.  With all this swelling I'm starting to spiral downward.  Once I realized I needed more pressure with each massage of the day I get a little better.  And most nights lately it has been looking OK by bedtime, but then in the morning it is back to so tight it hurts. 

Part of what makes this so bad is it is my own #%$#  fault.  It turns out the homemade rosemary chicken and rice soup (HUGE pot because we have a freezer full of chicken) we've had most nights this week was LOADED with salt.  We don't directly add salt to anything at the table and use it sparingly in the kitchen and Shannon checked the cream of chicken we add to make it a bit richer, but neither of us thought of the chicken base we add too.  Then on one of the nights we didn't have soup, we did breakfast for dinner.  We didn't have any sausage on hand so Shannon fried some of our black forest ham.  I figured since it was a sugar cured ham it would be lower in salt.  WRONG!  I could feel the swelling as I ate it even.  Then another night we didn't have the soup, our son brought in his leftover pizza (he wouldn't eat the main meal) and I had to have it.  So basically I've been stuffing myself with salt.

So in order to break the spiral downward before it gets moving too fast I need to do something.  I'm thinking of switching to a radical diet for the next week.  The nutritional numbers add up cleanly so it should be safe especially just for a week, but it is ULTRA low in sodium.  I know this is a knee jerk reaction and likely isn't needed but if I don't do something soon, it is going to get to be too much to wake with the massive swelling.  This isn't just the normal swelling this is much more painful than Chicago was and Dr. Z has already said my swelling is outside of normal.

I'm posting the proposed diet in the nutritional section if anyone wants to comment.

OK, the idea of actually doing something that MAY have some impact on the swelling, and more importantly after my first massage some pictures of me by Shannon doing normal stuff instead of posed and ultra close up helped me climb back up out of the hole.

The page for day 14 is on our site www.dragonflydreamsfarm.com.  It is under "Family Happenings" and then from there the FFS entry.  That page has a list of all of the entries for this FFS recovery so far.  Here is a direct link to the Day 14 page.  I cheated a bit and it is really day 15 as well, but I didn't want to post two pages.

Here is a tip I will share.  If you get to feeling that swelling is too much or that nothing has changed.  Change your perspective.  Stop looking directly at yourself in a mirror.  Stop taking personal closeups.  Get someone to take candid pictures.  Then look at those.  When we look too closely all we see is the bad parts, but in the random ones it isn't just about the swelling.  This helped me TREMENDOUSLY.

Here are a couple of pictures inline, but these and more will be on the web page linked above.

Hi babes..I'm having swelling issues as wel. Well, I guess all patients do but especially those like us that get neck, jaw, and chin work. We drove 5 hours from Chicago to Ohio and decided to stay in a hotel. I blew up like a balloon and I tried doing the massage one last time for the evening but it was unbearable so I stopped after 5 minutes. I think I'm starting to see an actual human face again though, you know, some of my features coming back which is good.

What do you think of your results thus far?

Oh by the way I told rina what you wanted me to tell her this morning. She was like ohhhhhh yea yea yea, I remember her. She said she teased you about being from tennessee and not a redneck. Ha.

Great timing JenJen, I was just posting this comparison after my third massage of the day.  I've been mega swollen since the flight and have been eating entirely much sodium.

Anyway, after a day of the ultra low sodium diet and my third massage I figured I'd post comparisons so people understood why I was so freaked out this morning.

First massage this morning is on the left.  Notice how swollen my jaws are and especially how swollen the incision site on my neck is



Third massage today is on the right.  Notice that the swelling is still present, but massively reduced.  Especially compare the neck incision.  It didn't even show parts of it this morning.  And even the parts that are still swollen are much less so now.

Up till now i have had a reduction by the third massage, but this is the most dramatic change yet.

This has definitely helped me shake off any downward spiral.  Now I can only hope for a similar drop tomorrow without too much swelling overnight.

*EDITED TO POINT TO PUBLISHED PICTURES*

Wow, what a difference that obviously made. Awesome!

Quote from: JenJen2011 on January 13, 2012, 07:31:55 PM
Hi babes..I'm having swelling issues as wel. Well, I guess all patients do but especially those like us that get neck, jaw, and chin work. We drove 5 hours from Chicago to Ohio and decided to stay in a hotel. I blew up like a balloon and I tried doing the massage one last time for the evening but it was unbearable so I stopped after 5 minutes. I think I'm starting to see an actual human face again though, you know, some of my features coming back which is good.

What do you think of your results thus far?

I've always liked the work he did for my hair line and removing the brow bossing and my nose.  But like you said t he neck, jaw, and chin work is killer.

After today I'm happy, but I was fairly down this morning because I woke at 5 because of the swelling pain on day 15.

As far as massages go I am having to use individual fingers or my thumb and REALLY dig in to get any sort of results.

It is funny I don't feel like any of the forehead work or the nose work is swelling, but that neck and jaw are swelling like crazy.  I'm going to try and stay on my ultra low sodium diet tomorrow and see how much more of the swelling i can knock off.  For the last three days I have also drunk more than 80oz of water.  It makes for a lot of trips, but I'm hoping it is helping to flush the surgery after effects.

On Tuesday I switch from Tylenol to the Motrin for the extra swelling relief according to my discharge papers.  I guess it has been long enough after surgery to not worry about the increased bleeding risk then and I could certainly use a stronger anti-inflammatory.

OK, today was another day.  Either the ultra low sodium helps, it is just time passing, I'm getting better at the massage, or this diet plan has given me a way to focus my will to enact change [So mote it be!].

I did in fact wake at 5am again today, but I was not in pain.  Even thought I was raised up in bed (which makes it hard enough to sleep as it is), my neck had gathered fluid and it was too uncomfortable to continue lying down. 

As a matter of fact I have been exceptionally late with each pain medication and my last set of Tylenol (extra strength OTC) was taken at 10am.  I did my third massage at 6pm.  So they should have worn off yet I felt no excessive pain.  I still have not taken any more pain meds.  I probably will just because any level of uncomfortableness makes it hard to sleep, but I'm slowly weaning myself from ANY pain meds.  Today i got to feel a new thing.  The pushing liquid along is a pretty cool feeling and you can easily tell when you've lost it and go back to pick it up.  But today i got to feel the scar tissue formed at my neck breaking up.  It has much more ripple than the fluid glide.  I'm thrilled to be breaking it up because I've had that massive mismatch at my throat scar every since I flew and now it is almost flat.  I actually rubbed a few sutures loose and they are very visible now while before it wasn't something you could see.  I'm going to post last night and tonight's side by side again.  This should not impact bandwidth since it is the exact same image loaded as just a few posts above, but I feel that it is easier to see side by side.

Left is 3rd massage yesterday.  Right is 3rd massage today.




This has been a WONDERFUL day.  I am definitely back into the post-op happiness range.  To see so much change overnight is exactly what i needed.  I have zero regrets now (not that I really ever did, but I was impatient).   

Some of those early massages HURT badly.  The fat graft injections were easily a 10/10 and I had an anxiety attack while taking diazepam.  But Dr. Z and his nurse were both trying to calm me and then Lisa and Jennifer came in and help and before long I was back under control.  I hurt getting around the airport just from the cafe and back to the gate.  I've had couple of sleepless nights.  I had to cash out an IRA to pay for this (however there are some politics there in that it was an early disbursement of an inheritance. If I still had it I would be asked to return it to the rest of my family since I'm not welcome anymore).  But in the end these are all temporary things. 

Making it more likely I get Mrs,Ms,Ma'am in public is SO much more valuable.  He has squared off my hairline nicely.  Yes it is still high, but that is my genetics and not any of his fault.  He actually got me a full inch more than I had.  I received my survey for how I was treated and when I was contacted and was easily able to fill it out perfect with a glowing written recommendation.  Dr. Z may not be for everyone, but he did wonders for me.

I know it hurts at times, but don't give up.  IT DOES GET BETER!  I know I have months before everything is settled out, but once the major swelling is gone I can leave the house again as myself.

*EDITED TO POINT TO PUBLISHED PICTURES*

Hi Jeneva,

The swellings you are having are due to gravity. They will subside over time. I had the same problem after my FFS. When I returned back to Europe I used a medication called Chymoral which reduced the swelling like a magic. Your results are stunning and you will look super feminine when the swelling is gone and the healing is over.

xxxxx

Dear Jeneva and Shannon,

Thank you so much for the photos. Jeneva, you're looking great already! I totally agree about wanting a surgeon who is aggressive. Since you're going through all this, might as well see a real difference afterwards, from going with someone who has the confidence to make noticeable changes.

I am so inspired now. (Also I've finally completed 15 postings which means I can show you two my tattoo. Not as many tattoos and piercings as you two have but I wanted to get at least ONE.) Thank you for being role models - also in the way you handle negative energy and turn it positive.

Hugs,

Maddie

I managed to sleep until 6 today.  If I didn't get tired in the middle of the day I'd just wonder if the extra swelling is preventing me from oversleeping.  Looking back I've been getting 7 hours pretty consistently.  Yes I know that means I was falling asleep at 9 before, but the first few days I went ahead and fell asleep during our reading time.  I wasn't in huge pain, but I did go ahead and take the Tylenol today since I felt like i needed it.  I can't wait till Tuesday and I can switch to Motrin since it is so much better an anti-inflammatory.  I had to go out specifically and buy the Tylenol for this but we have tons of Motrin on hand since it is our headache med of choice.

BTW before anyone asks I try to keep my facial expressions neutral since that is how the consult pictures are done.  I've also found that with much swelling at all a smile makes it look worse close up.  I know I look unhappy/angry/stoned, but I want to keep the same neutrality across the board so the pictures compare better. 

Quote from: madwoman in the attic on January 15, 2012, 02:23:50 AM
Dear Jeneva and Shannon,

Thank you so much for the photos. Jeneva, you're looking great already! I totally agree about wanting a surgeon who is aggressive. Since you're going through all this, might as well see a real difference afterwards, from going with someone who has the confidence to make noticeable changes.

I am so inspired now. (Also I've finally completed 15 postings which means I can show you two my tattoo. Not as many tattoos and piercings as you two have but I wanted to get at least ONE.) Thank you for being role models - also in the way you handle negative energy and turn it positive.

Hugs,

Maddie

Your tattoo looks great.  You know they say it takes miles to get your first tattoo, but only inches for the second.  I've actually downgrading piercings as I posted earlier, and unfortunately my leg sleeve is on hold until early February just so I can be sure I am mostly healed and over the major swelling before I ask my body to heal something else.  I explained why I had to take a break to my artist and he was cool with it.  I've told my artist as long as it is done by summer I'll be happy since Shannon and the kids love the beach and I don't want to be a stick in the mud with a fresh healing tattoo session when they go.

I keep trying to get Shannon to post on stuff so she can get to 15, but she isn't as much as forum person as me.  Her avatar will either be her custom dragonfly tattoo or the other Fae in my leg sleeve since it represents her (that is her FaceBook avatar now).

You are welcome  to try anything that has worked for us (and we'd be honored you did), but as a role model always remember we are only people too  .  When I first started getting serious with this site (before I left for a year or so), there was a couple that was sticking together and they were SO inspirational.  It really helped Shannon and I work through things.  Unfortunately the GG had been married previously and had children from that marriage she had custody of.  The ex decided to be a jerk and fight for them.  Because of the prejudice of the area they lived in, then ended up apart because it was her children or her wife.  It was actually heartbreaking to see a couple that had clearly been working together so much have to split.  In our case neither of us has been previously married (or even had MAJOR relationships) so that won't get in the way.  Neither of us knows of anything that will break us apart right now but there is always the unknown.   I know we will both fight to the bitter end to stay together, but if something does happen that doesn't mean the same will happen to others.


Negative energy just breeds more of the same.  As Lucas through Yoda said in "The Phantom Menace", "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

As far as being positive, the real trick there is becoming aware of where you are and what is around.  When you see the world around you how can you not be positive.  It doesn't have to be "Stop and smell the roses", it could be as simple as "Look at that bee working so hard to gather pollen", or "See how well that preying mantis blends in", or "Do you hear that bird, it is like it is singing just for us."  For the people in the city it may be things like "Look how pretty that neon light shines in the darkness", "Isn't that street musician playing well",  "Isn't that a beautiful building."  I'm in a quoting mood, I'll steal from Sarah McLachlan next.  We're both big fans so we track down everything we can find.  She has an album called "Rarities, B sides, and other stuff".  The first song on that album is easily on the desert island iPod must have list for both of us.  It is called "Ordinary Miracle."  The first verse (or for that matter most any of them show why when you want to be positive it is there for you to find). 
"It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another
Ordinary miracle today"

Sorry I've got to stop now since I just got proof that my HRT is working again even though I had to stop for the surgery almost two weeks for the surgery.  The only music that will bring me to tears faster than that song is Beethoven's 9th symphony the 4th movement (Ode to Joy).

I was going to post more pictures tonight and actually "officially" update the website.  The current pictures are just ftp'd into a standalone dir (which I think is technically against my free hosting policy, but it is a temporary thing).

So I thought I'd do a follow up page since the last page on our site mentions the new low sodium diet.  I'm not sure if I can or not now.

Guess why?  When I was massive swollen I had been eating a lot of the homemade chicken soup Shannon made.  At the time I just figured we forgot to add in the chicken base and the extra sodium from there was what got me.  So tonight I was going to have chicken and rice for dinner.  I was updating the PS3 firmware so we could get the kids to stop fighting by watching Mr. Popper's Penguins.  PS3 updates take FOREVER and well.... maybe I fell asleep.  When it was finally done and I woke, I came into the kitchen.  Shannon looked over at me and said sorry but I don't know if you can eat this chicken or not.  We are getting low from our last batch we raised.  Because we brined the chicken and the smaller pieces absorbed more because of surface area.  And of course the last of the bags have those smaller pieces because they weren't as easy to grab and pop in the zip lock.  Brining is great for the flavor and moistness of the meat and how it cooks, but it more than TRIPLES the sodium content in a chicken breast.

That soup while delicious and very easy for me to eat, was literally blowing my face up.  Now wonder I was so swollen.

And now I'm eating it again for dinner.  Luckily I'm only having rice and a couple of breasts so it will still keep my total to around 900mg under the RDA of sodium, but that totally blows away some of the meals I planned later in the week.  I've been doing oatmeal, yogurt, slim fast shake, oatmeal, and then something a touch bigger.  My last post on in my thread in the nutrition sub forum showed a few options.  I couldn't handle 5 bowls of oatmeal a day.

As long as it doesn't have even more sodium that I thought I'll be updating everything, but if not then you will know I ate too much again.

Not enough of a change to bother posting pictures.  I'm kind of at that stage where it is going to take days to see much difference now I guess.  The massive swelling from when I first got off the airplane is finally worked down, so maybe I'm just down to the day to day fluxes.  Most pictures were slightly better, but some of the swelling had moved and a couple were worse.  Overall it was just another day of healing with no major swings.

The rice with grilled chicken breast and onions was excellent and I did still come in around 900mg under the RDA for sodium for the day.

I'm starting to lose the sutures on my neck like crazy now.  I think I rub it more vigorously so they are coming out faster.

I'm also noticing that I have to lotion the other area of my body Dr Z worked on multiple times a day because they are itching like crazy now.  I hate this crazy seam just off center of each cup because I always end up with a crease there each time I open it up to do a massage or lotion.  It seems like a bad design, but maybe there was some reason it was needed.

OK, a new page is up now.  It is still in the same place but named for day 18 or you can just follow this link.  The link of course is the full page with more pictures and a bit of narrative.

I know it is hard to see in these pictures, but the full on face with a larger view you can actually see a lot more definition because things just aren't as swollen all around.  In the full sized version you can see a bit more of the cheek dimple and line.  And the nasal line is much cleaner.  You may be able to make out the sharper jaw line instead of the circular one in the Saturday picture.  Sorry I didn't realize these wouldn't show that once scaled for the web.





I've sent these in to Dr. Z's staff to see if I still need the professional massage since the place I wanted is booked solid, and the other place wants a letter from him authorizing them to do the massage.  Once we learned that the three find glide just wasn't enough I've not had nearly as many problems.

No major appearance changes so no website update, but another piercing update.  Earlier in the thread someone mentioned losing a piercing so I became concerned and we had a mini discussion.  The general consensus was there was little risk of losing a piercing.

I had already put in both lobes and the industrial for one each and both lobs and both helixes for the other.  Dr. Z said to let my tragus go because it wasn't healing well.  The piercing hole was ok, but I have a small tragus and all the good looking jewelry was too big.  The piece I wore day to day had a very rough back and it often scratched the outside of my tragus.  Evidentally it had done that enough that it was fairly infected and Dr. Z felt it was better to let it go.  Since I couldn't really wear the nicer jewelry because of the size and the small curved barbells aren't my style I agreed readily enough.

He did ok my eyebrow and offered to help put it in while I was in the office getting my drain tube out the last day, but I thought it might get in the way of the massages.  I put it back in tonight since those massages don't go that far down and I'm not really moving much fluid up there anyway.

All that was yet to ok was my nose, tongue and lips (snakebite pattern).  Shannon asked me to lose the snakebites since they made kissing odd so they are going to heal all the way up.  But I was curious about my nose and tongue.  Both had PARTIALLY healed but it was very obvious where the piercing went.  With a MINOR amount of pain even compared to one of my massages now I managed to get both pushed through.  I went ahead and inserted the tongue with a metal bar but silicone balls so I don't bruise anything in there.  Unless he is just worried it may catch in my stitches I'm not sure why it wasn't ok'd yet.

The nose I got re-pierced, but after removing it and rechecking every 30 minutes for a while I'm just going to keep it open until I no longer have to clean my nose at the end of the month.  Then I'll put the diamond back in.  I actually can't wait because I think it will make my new nose pop even more.

Anyway all this shortened I lost nothing I couldn't get back unless I am choosing to lose it.  Don't worry about piercings and FFS.

WEEK 3!!!!!!!   

Ok, it gets better and better.  I fell more swollen tonight but Shannon swears it doesn't show as badly.  I've felt fine the past few days.  I did end up early today but that was more just a getting comfortable in bed thing.

I made an update to our farm site under family matters / ffs surgery or you can just go directly there here

Lots of words on that page because I like to ramble, but there are also other pictures I'm not linking here just because I don't want to slow the page for everyone.

Frontal view


I can wear T-Shirts NOW!!!!  And while it is from their latest album, instead of the even more awesome first, I love that band.  The first album has a lot of songs that could almost be read as our kind of transition related.
I know she doesn't mean these lyrics this way, but to me this really speaks to the denial and suppression we all go through and as we way we know we much call her out to live for us and become something real, because we have no more life left.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become


And I can almost smile normally now.


I can't wait until week 4.  This week other than switching to Motrin in the middle I had no restrictions lifted like I did at week 2.  Well week 4 has a LOT of restrictions lifted and I'm really looking forward to them.

I'm trying something new with my eyebrow piercing.  I used to wear barbells, but I've seen several people with hoops and really liked it.  Is it a younger person thing so at 38 I look stupid with it?  Does it mean anything significant (like a silver ring on a middle finger)?

I don't think it looks stupid at all. My ex has one; she's the same age as you.

Most facial piercings are "I'm gay" tells. All those things are like critical mass though, you have enough and you are readable basically. And where I live, it gets complicated 'cause all the cute straight hipster girls have enough tells to pass as gay. This is the side effect of lesbian style getting assimilated. Mass confusion.

Also silver ring on middle finger is just a fairly standard "I'm gay" tell or did I miss something?


You are starting to look a lot better there. Especially in the shot where you are smiling.