Smooth and Annah,

     While not wanting to deviate from the main topic of the post, your posts and references to ->-bleeped-<- interested me. So in my quest to have a better understanding I searched and found this paper:

            http://www.genderpsychology.org/ ->-bleeped-<-/male_gender_dysphoria/index.html

      Can anyone tell me - do I understand it correctly that all non-cross dressing TGs have been lumped into the same category as cross-dressing TGs, and prescribed the same mental illness? This doesn't seem plausible, but I suppose that the genius psychiatrists of the world will do what ever they please.

I am alarmed by the arm-chair therapy I am reading here.   I cannot believe in the "absolutes" that some would put forward as fact, i.e. "there are no relative degrees of a condition, you either have it totally, or you don't have it at all".

      Each respondent will tend to see things through their own lens of experience and you must consider their advice in that vein.

      I believe it's normal for us to question the validity of our condition.   I believe it's normal for all of us to have second thoughts at some point.   I believe it's normal for us to vacillate to some degree at some time.

       Our worlds would all be easier if we could just be told which course is correct when we face a difficult decision on a life direction.  Life ain't that easy. 

       Consider this:

       Each person posting with a problem they seek assistance with is generally not giving all the needed information to make an informed decision.   It's quite likely they already know what's right for them, so they are shading the facts to support what they believe in their hearts.

      Each respondent is likely to show that the course that was right for them is also right for others.

      Having a therapist who has assisted many other transsexuals is important.   A bad therapist is far worse than no therapist at all.

      Giving bad advice can result in death, disfigurement or serious injury.   If you don't have formal training in psychology, don't think you can give good advice to someone you've never met in person.   

      Asking for serious guidance from people on the Internet may be hazardous to your health.

      In your case, I don't see any harm from seeing what a month or even two months trial run on hormones can do.   You must agree to stop at 2 months to avoid serious long-term affects.   At that point, a serious evaluation between you and a trained gender therapist might do you wonders.

      I had to change therapists once.  I can see someone doing it multiple times in order to get the right one.   They are not all the same.

     

Quote from: jdinatale on January 10, 2012, 05:00:16 PMCons:
-Selfish (This decision is all about me and neglects my family's feelings)

Did you ever ask your parents and other family members just what it is about transsexuality that they find so undesirable?  If so, what did they say?

For what little or much as it may be worth, I have experienced quite a bit of ->-bleeped-<- in my teens starting at around twelve or so. I doubted transition because of this at times... though I decided that I couldn't know the answers for sure unless I went to get them. I allowed myself the fantasizing I required from time to time, and transitioned as soon as the fates would have it.

I didn't experience worries though. I had already made up my mind five years prior to starting hormones that I was ready to lose everything for this opportunity. The point of difference in this case is that my reasons for transitioning were far greater than a desire for sexual fulfillment; the sexual desires were merely the precursor to a discovery about my person.

The ->-bleeped-<- faded long before I started hormones, but it never went away. It's with me to this day, though in a different form; the kind that it is said that cis women experience. Additionally, I appear to have gained some AAP - the two appear to play an equal role in my limited sexual expression, whether it is one, the other, or both at once. In any case, those tendancies play a greatly diminished and now minor role in my life.

It's possible that things might be similar with you, though displaced in when. Perhaps the ->-bleeped-<- will start to fade with hormones, and perhaps it was just a train to follow to a destination, as I have experienced. In any case it is necessary to evaluate the non-->-bleeped-<- reasons to transition. What if you lost all sexuality... would you still do it?

Based on your pros and cons alone, I would choose to transition. Being at peace with oneself is what everyone wants in life... for me, transition alone allowed that, so no matter what I do, I will be happy just beacuse of it. Some have to have important jobs, lots of money, tons of friends, or whatever-else-have-you. I transitioned because it meant that I could be happy even if I had nothing and no one.

I won't dare to offer more than my experiences. Suggestions are dangerous... so I hope what I have said can help in some way.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 10, 2012, 05:00:16 PM

I'm not sure what advice I'm not listening to. Is it so wrong that I feel uncertain about the most critical decision that I will ever make? There are so few things in life we know 100% to be correct.

No, it is absolutely not wrong of you to feel uncertain, and perhaps my wording came out a bit "Blunt".
I had no intention of seeming careless, and if I did, I apologize for that.

It is just that there seem to be so many people that decides- or thinks about- transitioning and asks other people for their opinions about it and then basically seems to ignore the answers and asks for opinions anew on things that have basically already been answered.
And not the least, asking for opinions on something that in the end only the person asking for advice can decide.

What I am saying is, that in this thread, you are asking for advice on things you have already recieved advices on. But the thing is, that no-one can make the final decission for you. I know and fully understand that it feels frightening and that you desperately wish that someone could lift this too heavy burden and desicion from your shoulders. However, people can only give you advices, they cannot make the final decission for you. The final decision on which road to take, must come from you and only you, with no thought of others or what they think is right or wrong for you, or whether they agree with the final decision or not.

As for that final decision, the only thing I can "Advice" you, is that none of the scenarios you describe in the starting post, is really 100% final and definite, as you are basically just describing gender roles in your futuristic scenarios. However, just because you have a certain body you do not have to confirm to a specific gender role.
There are Bio-males that have had either full sex changes including HRT, aswell as there are males that have only had Vaginoplasty and yet continue living as males in the everyday life, and/or lives as females when they want to do that, back and forth.

The only thing that really is definite, is the matter of biological children, however you could always store your Sperm, if you keep your trans-status secret, as I believe transitioners are not allowed to store Sperm, although that may perhaps be different where you live, I wouldn't know.

But in short: You decide your Gender and how to express that, however what Gender you have and what body you have, is two separate things.
If you consider your situation from that aspect, several of your problems will definitely come in another light.



Hope this post cleared out a few things on how I actually meant.

Quote from: Bishounen on January 11, 2012, 09:53:02 AM
No, it is absolutely not wrong of you to feel uncertain, and perhaps my wording came out a bit "Blunt".
I had no intention of seeming careless, and if I did, I apologize for that.

It is just that there seem to be so many people that decides- or thinks about- transitioning and asks other people for their opinions about it and then basically seems to ignore the answers and asks for opinions anew on things that have basically already been answered.
And not the least, asking for opinions on something that in the end only the person asking for advice can decide.

What I am saying is, that in this thread, you are asking for advice on things you have already recieved advices on. But the thing is, that no-one can make the final decission for you. I know and fully understand that it feels frightening and that you desperately wish that someone could lift this too heavy burden and desicion from your shoulders. However, people can only give you advices, they cannot make the final decission for you. The final decision on which road to take, must come from you and only you, with no thought of others or what they think is right or wrong for you, or whether they agree with the final decision or not.

As for that final decision, the only thing I can "Advice" you, is that none of the scenarios you describe in the starting post, is really 100% final and definite, as you are basically just describing gender roles in your futuristic scenarios. However, just because you have a certain body you do not have to confirm to a specific gender role.
There are Bio-males that have had either full sex changes including HRT, aswell as there are males that have only had Vaginoplasty and yet continue living as males in the everyday life, and/or lives as females when they want to do that, back and forth.

The only thing that really is definite, is the matter of biological children, however you could always store your Sperm, if you keep your trans-status secret, as I believe transitioners are not allowed to store Sperm, although that may perhaps be different where you live, I wouldn't know.

But in short: You decide your Gender and how to express that, however what Gender you have and what body you have, is two separate things.
If you consider your situation from that aspect, several of your problems will definitely come in another light.



Hope this post cleared out a few things on how I actually meant.

     In a previous response to the OP, you misgendered a person who had started hormones, referring to that person repeatedly as "him".   In the event you did not know, this can be interpreted as terribly insulting to some people.

      Please don't think that, because someone has asked a question and received input from others on a topic, that it should be inappropriate to ask the same question again.    The female mind solves problems by talking it out.   In many cases, a female will talk to extremes and a male mind will want them to be quiet after telling them "the answer".   It may be obvious to a male who wants it over, done and resolved, but the female may need to continue to talk it out.    Just because a female is talking and asking questions doesn't mean that they will be helped by someone with assertive statements.

      Females need to interact, commiserate and sympathize with each other.   It is not necessarily of great importance to them that anything be promptly solved or anyone be declared "right" or "the winner of the argument".    It is often more important that they received support and understanding from others rather than getting information.   Males need to accomplish the goal and resolve the issue quickly.   Females may often be less inclined to accomplish such things, as they are far more emotionally oriented than action oriented.

      It appears to me that the original poster is simply working through things in her own mind, at her own pace, in a manner that makes sense to her.

      If it irritates you, it is unfortunate.  It is, after all, her own issue to work through.

  Just go with the flow and if after a few months you don't like it you can always stop no biggie.

Quote from: Re: Joyce on January 11, 2012, 05:50:15 PM
     In a previous response to the OP, you misgendered a person who had started hormones, referring to that person repeatedly as "him".   In the event you did not know, this can be interpreted as terribly insulting to some people.

Firstly, Jdinatale had, as for the writing moment of the previous post of mine, and in fact still haven't, gendered his profile with an "F" as for "Female", which signals to the reader that while Jdinatale do not necessarily identify as male, he, nonetheless and obviously, do not identify as a female either. And, as Jdinatale have not put any other Gender symbol on the profile, it further gives the message that the reader self is free to gender Jdinatale as see fit.

And while on this very topic, Jdinatale have said himself that he is a Autogynophilic- Not a Transsexual.
This is important, for according to the ->-bleeped-<--theory, Autogynephiiles are not females in males bodies as the TMTF-ranssexual are, but fetishistic males trapped in males bodies, as the autogynephile do not selfidentify as a female, but as a male that want a female body for auto-fetishistic and sexual reasons.

As such, titling a Pre-Transitioned Autogynephile as "He" is not an insult nor incorrect.
If, however, Jdinatale explicitly says that he now wishes to be referred to as Female, than I will also title him as such with no hesitation whatsoever.


     

QuotePlease don't think that, because someone has asked a question and received input from others on a topic, that it should be inappropriate to ask the same question again.

Okay, then do you wish that I repost this full post I just one more time for you, then, by that reasoning?

QuoteThe female mind solves problems by talking it out.   In many cases, a female will talk to extremes and a male mind will want them to be quiet after telling them "the answer".

Is that the trannier than thou-attitude at work again, that pops up its head?

Telling the person that gets your undies in a twist that the person is "obviously male" as soon as you find that person annoying, is, indeed that very Trannier than thou-attitude.
Tsk tsk. Please, not at Susan's.

QuoteIt may be obvious to a male who wants it over, done and resolved, but the female may need to continue to talk it out.    Just because a female is talking and asking questions doesn't mean that they will be helped by someone with assertive statements.

Talking something out and asking the same questions over and over is two completely different things.

     

QuoteFemales need to interact, commiserate and sympathize with each other.   It is not necessarily of great importance to them that anything be promptly solved or anyone be declared "right" or "the winner of the argument".    It is often more important that they received support and understanding from others rather than getting information.   Males need to accomplish the goal and resolve the issue quickly.   Females may often be less inclined to accomplish such things, as they are far more emotionally oriented than action oriented.

Oh, I know very well how females and males function Psychologically, as I am very interested in Gender Science. However, not to be confused with Feministic so called Gender "Science", mind you.

     

QuoteIt appears to me that the original poster is simply working through things in her own mind, at her own pace, in a manner that makes sense to her.

      If it irritates you, it is unfortunate.  It is, after all, her own issue to work through.

If Jdinatale is working things through in his own mind, than why not take it with the professional, that is, with the Therapist instead of a bunch of total strangers?
Asking questions is good, however, asking the same questions repeatedly, may cause anyone a tad of irritation, no matter what hangs or not hangs between the legs.

Quote from: Bishounen on January 12, 2012, 09:59:18 AM
If Jdinatale is working things through in his own mind, than why not take it with the professional, that is, with the Therapist instead of a bunch of total strangers?
Asking questions is good, however, asking the same questions repeatedly, may cause anyone a tad of irritation, no matter what hangs or not hangs between the legs.

Listen, nobody is making you read my posts and threads. You seem to be the only one with the problem with them. If you don't like them, the solution is simple - don't read them.

 

I would very strongly suggest that the three of you read the TOS for this site. This is a support site not an attack site. I recognise you are new to the site, so I will be lenient.

If there is another post in this thread continuing this argument I will have to hand out penalties. Put the silly stuff to sleep please.

Cindy James
Global Moderator.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 08, 2012, 09:47:35 PM
I tried everything I could with my therapists to live life as a normal man. But nothing ever worked. We tried every possible therapy techniques and medications. It got to the point where my only option for happiness would be to transition. It's what we determined the next step to be.

"Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth."

Why are the vast majority of heterosexual men not even remotely aroused by the idea of having a female body, even temporarily?  In fact, most find the idea horrifying, despite lust of the female form.  This is a strong indication they possess an intrinsic male gender identity that informs them on their body preference.  You do not seem to have this.  Also, why did you feel this way when you were so young?   ->-bleeped-<- is real, but it's a consequence, not the cause, of gender issues. 

In my opinion, if you ever want peace in your life, you'll have to forget all these labels and see how HRT works out for you over the next few months.  I hope your family would be a bit more understanding, since you didn't just casually succumb to your feelings, but rather fought your feelings vehemently for many years.  After all, I never fought my feelings and gave into them immediately... and I still have my family.  It's wrong and unfortunate that you'll lose yours after all of your resistance. 

I wish the best for you, jdinatale; I hope you get this all sorted out and live a happy fulfilling life.  : )

Quote from: Inanna on January 15, 2012, 06:30:13 AM
Why are the vast majority of heterosexual men not even remotely aroused by the idea of having a female body, even temporarily?  In fact, most find the idea horrifying, despite lust of the female form.  This is a strong indication they possess an intrinsic male gender identity that informs them on their body preference.  You do not seem to have this.  Also, why did you feel this way when you were so young?   ->-bleeped-<- is real, but it's a consequence, not the cause, of gender issues. 

In my opinion, if you ever want peace in your life, you'll have to forget all these labels and see how HRT works out for you over the next few months.  I hope your family would be a bit more understanding, since you didn't just casually succumb to your feelings, but rather fought your feelings vehemently for many years.  After all, I never fought my feelings and gave into them immediately... and I still have my family.  It's wrong and unfortunate that you'll lose yours after all of your resistance. 

I wish the best for you, jdinatale; I hope you get this all sorted out and live a happy fulfilling life.  : )

My family just has a terrible attitude towards my gender identity disorder that stems from ignorance and the unwillingness to become educated. I told them how I tried so hard to be a man for 20 years and how I worked diligently in therapy for 2 years trying to extirpate these thoughts from my head. Their response? "Well keep on trying! If you pray hard enough, the lord and savior Jesus Christ will heal you! Don't ever give into these feelings, they are of Satan." My mom actually told me that a demon was inside of me giving me these thoughts.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 15, 2012, 11:31:02 AM
My family just has a terrible attitude towards my gender identity disorder that stems from ignorance and the unwillingness to become educated. I told them how I tried so hard to be a man for 20 years and how I worked diligently in therapy for 2 years trying to extirpate these thoughts from my head. Their response? "Well keep on trying! If you pray hard enough, the lord and savior Jesus Christ will heal you! Don't ever give into these feelings, they are of Satan." My mom actually told me that a demon was inside of me giving me these thoughts.

Isn't it odd how some Christians extrapolate that being trans is wrong, even though the Bible says absolutely nothing about it (only a mention of crossdressing)?  They seem to think of it as an extreme form of gayness.  Maybe you could stress the point that you only like girls.  Or you could ask them to find a verse that condemns your desire to be a girl.  You could also mention that it's wrong to lie, and that's how you see living as a boy.

Quote from: Inanna on January 15, 2012, 02:11:55 PM
Isn't it odd how some Christians extrapolate that being trans is wrong, even though the Bible says absolutely nothing about it (only a mention of crossdressing)?  They seem to think of it as an extreme form of gayness.  Maybe you could stress the point that you only like girls.  Or you could ask them to find a verse that condemns your desire to be a girl.  You could also mention that it's wrong to lie, and that's how you see living as a boy.

The bible might not have any references to being transgender, but my family is mormon and our church officially states, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

So I can never win no matter how much logic and reasoning I do. If I say one thing and God says the other, God wins in my family's eyes.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 15, 2012, 02:28:41 PM
The bible might not have any references to being transgender, but my family is mormon and our church officially states, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

Okay, so they view gender as existing separate of the physical body (premortal, eternal identity and purpose).  In that case, shouldn't they accept that your physical body is only a part of your actual gender?

And if they believe God would never mix together male and female attributes in the same person, physical intersex conditions sort of blow that concept out of the water

Anyway, since gender is viewed as so important in their eyes, wouldn't it be that much worse to spend your whole life lying about it?

QuoteSo I can never win no matter how much logic and reasoning I do. If I say one thing and God says the other, God wins in my family's eyes.

They're interpreting, extrapolating, and commandeering God's message for their own purposes, which to me seems much worse.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 15, 2012, 02:28:41 PM
The bible might not have any references to being transgender, but my family is mormon and our church officially states, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

So I can never win no matter how much logic and reasoning I do. If I say one thing and God says the other, God wins in my family's eyes.

I don't know whether you'll be able to change your parents' minds, but you can at least win credibility by stating how contradictory the bible is and use their own arguments against them.

For example:

In Deuteronomy 23.1 it states "He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off shall not enter the assembly of the LORD." - that doesn't sound good for anyone considering SRS, but then take the passage from Isiah 56:4-5:

"For thus says the Lord: to the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast to my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument better than sons and daughters, I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off."

Despite the slightly amusing pun, it rather flies in the face of the previous statement, doesn't it?

From Corinthians 5:19 - People may argue that body modification is wrong:

"If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you yourselves are his temple"

But from Mark 9:43-47:

"If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."

There are many ways to interpret this, but it can be easily interpreted as God still accepting you if you modify your body.

You may have heard this:

"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God."

but in Galatians 3:28:

"there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus."

and John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Also, if your parents where clothes combining cloth and linen, the Bible doesn't allow that either!

I am not anti religion, and while I don't strictly practise a religion, I do believe in the possibility of a higher presence, and do respect the positive elements of the human spirit that religion can bring about. However, religion can often be misused as a tool to oppress, particularly by quoting from the bible using select information. However, with the above quotes, you can at least argue back and give them something to think about.

Also, you seem to be close to your twin sister as mentioned in other threads - what does she think of it all?

Quote from: jdinatale on January 15, 2012, 02:28:41 PM
The bible might not have any references to being transgender, but my family is mormon and our church officially states, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

So I can never win no matter how much logic and reasoning I do. If I say one thing and God says the other, God wins in my family's eyes.

According to my LDS friends, the Bible and the Book of Mormon are the "word of God" ... so long as they are translated correctly

I suppose "so long as thet are understood correctly" might apply, a well.

Quote from: Beverley on January 15, 2012, 02:31:51 PM
OK, so let me ask the unthinkable - would you leave home if it meant you could transition? What would the outcomes of such an action be? You know your parents, we do not.

As a thought experiment, what would happen?

Beverley

There are costs and benefits to every decision. By living at home I really am getting a killer deal - free room, board, utilities, laundry, a car, etc. I haven't had to take out ANY loans throughout college. I actually get paid ~$2,000 a semester by my school, just to go to school. Let that sink in...I get paid to go to school. If I moved out, I would lose all of those aforementioned benefits plus the $2000 (it would go towards living expenses). I would probably have to take out a loan.

Sure, I would LOVE to be able to get out of this guy mode. But you have to make wise decisions in life. I think the smartest move is to save money and endure guy mode as best as possible for the next 1.5 years until I graduate.

Of course, the cost to staying at home is...enduring guy mode for 1.5 years. Plus the stress of hiding all of my physical changes. Plus the strain of not being able to express my true self.

Costs and benefits.

Quote from: Inanna on January 15, 2012, 02:43:30 PM
Okay, so they view gender as existing separate of the physical body (premortal, eternal identity and purpose).  In that case, shouldn't they accept that your physical body is only a part of your actual gender?

And if they believe God would never mix together male and female attributes in the same person, physical intersex conditions sort of blow that concept out of the water

Anyway, since gender is viewed as so important in their eyes, wouldn't it be that much worse to spend your whole life lying about it?

They're interpreting, extrapolating, and commandeering God's message for their own purposes, which to me seems much worse.

Here's what my bishop told me: "You are a male spirit in a male body. You were a male before you were born and you will be a male after you die." He said I just have been natured and nurtured to THINK I am a girl, but I'm not REALLY a girl. How do you argue with that?

Quote from: Assoluta on January 15, 2012, 02:54:21 PM
I don't know whether you'll be able to change your parents' minds, but you can at least win credibility by stating how contradictory the bible is and use their own arguments against them.

For example:

In Deuteronomy 23.1 it states "He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off shall not enter the assembly of the LORD." - that doesn't sound good for anyone considering SRS, but then take the passage from Isiah 56:4-5:

"For thus says the Lord: to the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast to my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument better than sons and daughters, I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off."

Despite the slightly amusing pun, it rather flies in the face of the previous statement, doesn't it?

From Corinthians 5:19 - People may argue that body modification is wrong:

"If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you yourselves are his temple"

But from Mark 9:43-47:

"If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."

There are many ways to interpret this, but it can be easily interpreted as God still accepting you if you modify your body.

You may have heard this:

"A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God."

but in Galatians 3:28:

"there is neither male nor female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus."

and John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Also, if your parents where clothes combining cloth and linen, the Bible doesn't allow that either!

I am not anti religion, and while I don't strictly practise a religion, I do believe in the possibility of a higher presence, and do respect the positive elements of the human spirit that religion can bring about. However, religion can often be misused as a tool to oppress, particularly by quoting from the bible using select information. However, with the above quotes, you can at least argue back and give them something to think about.

Also, you seem to be close to your twin sister as mentioned in other threads - what does she think of it all?

Here's the thing about my church (LDS/Mormon): We believe in modern day prophets who receive revelation from God. Unfortunately for transgender members of the church, these "modern day prophets" have "revealed from God" that being transgender is immoral and against God's plan. You can read more about the official stance here:
http://lds.org/family/proclamation?lang=eng

Ah, my twin sister is my best friend in the whole world. We are super close and do everything together. Unfortunately, she is tied with my mom as being my biggest opponent. She tells me that I'm a guy, that I'm doing wrong, and that I should try harder to make things work as a man.

Quote from: jdinatale on January 15, 2012, 10:14:14 PM
There are costs and benefits to every decision. By living at home I really am getting a killer deal - free room, board, utilities, laundry, a car, etc. I haven't had to take out ANY loans throughout college. I actually get paid ~$2,000 a semester by my school, just to go to school. Let that sink in...I get paid to go to school. If I moved out, I would lose all of those aforementioned benefits plus the $2000 (it would go towards living expenses). I would probably have to take out a loan.

I left my home, lived on campus and received an additional 8,000 dollars in scholarships for being an "out of the closet" fulltime transgender person in college. The scholarship would not have applied if I was a dependent or had not transition.

Also, I received a 6,000 scholarship from my school under the Johnson LGBT scholarship fund plus another 6,000 scholarship for academics. I have a surplus of 15,000 dollars a year in pure scholarships (no pay back). After rent and utilities I have 10,000 dollars left. I have I would not have received this if I stayed at home, stayed a dependent, and did not transition.

Of course, I am not saying you should transition and move out because you can get more money...i am just showing you can benefit better than what you think.

QuoteSure, I would LOVE to be able to get out of this guy mode. But you have to make wise decisions in life. I think the smartest move is to save money and endure guy mode as best as possible for the next 1.5 years until I graduate.

Only you need to make your own decision and only you know what is best. I tried your way and I didn't get to transition until I was 35....and even then I took a chance. I find transitioning a lot like planning for pregnancy...no time is a good time. You just need to make that decision.

QuoteHere's what my bishop told me: "You are a male spirit in a male body. You were a male before you were born and you will be a male after you die." He said I just have been natured and nurtured to THINK I am a girl, but I'm not REALLY a girl. How do you argue with that?

How would i argue that? I would punch holes all over his fragile and misogynistic theology. I would quote many passages and then break them down.

However, the truth is, I would leave his church because he is a Bishop....he wont be changing his mind anytime soon. I wouldn't stay in a church where anyone would belittle me and try to use the Bible as a weapon.

Invite him over to my church.

The LDS is a lot like my formal denomination I worked for. I left it and went to a more loving church.