I know what Hell is like.

I can accept the fact that your Hell is very personal and I hope you did not take my comments as insults.

Cindy

Wouldn't think of it.

Quote from: Zylphia on February 12, 2012, 06:31:35 PM
I didn't suggest it. D;

I just said that is what I would do.
I don't mean anything by it at all.

I'm just a horrible person. :c

No you're not honey, you are just very young and probably very sweet! I had instantly been reminded though of a person who had told his sister that he was contemplating suicide because his life was a mess. He was such a constant whiner that she finally said out of a complete sense of exasperation, "Then go for it!" he killed himself that night and she's had a tough time dealing with her own feelings having said what she had said. That's what caused me to make my comment to your post the way I did. It's always best to be uplifting to those who are suffering from crippling emotions and disfigurements that eat away at self esteem.

Yeah I'm sweet, but only because I don't want people to know how shallow I can be in my young age. :c
But I try my best to be nice, and to help people when they ask for it. I can't be good all the time.
I think there is a bit to much spice and not enough sugar and nice though Shantel. :U

Still to stay on topic if I were actually in the same situation not sure what I might do, I'd probably still go for transition.
Where a cool half mask, awe yeah. lol I'd find a way to still look awesome, since people think I am awesome now.
Does wonders for my confidence when people talk to me.

For Heaven's sake, Zylphia, stop apologizing for your existence like you do in this thread.
The only thing that is horrible, is that you crawl on the ground and apologizes for having opinions.

You need to get stronger and stand up for your opinions- not excusing yourself for having them.

Different people have different needs, and so does also trans-persons, as they are people. Hence, what makes some other people happy, will not make you happy, because your individual need and version of happyness is your own, and least of all, not for others to judge, and if they do, let them know that you are not them.

Quote from: Zylphia on February 13, 2012, 08:58:38 AM
Where a cool half mask, awe yeah. lol I'd find a way to still look awesome

Heehee, I was thinking the same thing :| Getting a really cool / beautiful mask or something Or maybe a hairstyle that covers half the face all the time (yea, i watch too many cartoons ) .

Heya folks,

Normally i'd keep shtum and start a thread in the Intros bit but this topic concerns me a lot and Id like to throw in my two cents.

A few years ago when i was a cock-sure, 18 year old guy, I had the world at my feet - beautiful gf, good looks, confidence and no problems whatsoever. But as time went by, i knew I was living a lie and was a girl trapped in this strange body. I discussed this with a gender therapist but she wasnt helpful in the slightest, in fact was almost discouraging and I left feeling both disgusted and ashamed at my self and my intentions of transistioning. I vowed to try harder at this 'guy' malarkey - regularly going to the gym, turning into a real 'player', and - if im honest - a bit of a douche.

Well, fast-forward one night and I was walking home from a club. It was dark and I was slightly drunk, albeit far from wasted and very much compus mentus. I ended up taking a shortcut home through a supermarket car park and came upon a gang of Neds (Scottish Chavs/Guidos(?) in America) beating up this teenage boy. My alcohol-and-testosterone-fuelled conscience thought, "Screw this, a chance to beat up these scumbags AND be a hero!" So I get myself involved and (if im allowed to be slightly boastful!) get this boy up and free from the mauling he was receiving. However silly me loses focus of the danger and I managed to get 2 glass bottles smashed over my face as I was helping the victim to his feet.

After hitting me, the cowards fled into the night and the victim also scarpered away with not even a thank -you or acknowledgement at all. I ended up getting home, (somehow) drove myself to the hospital and received upwards of 80 stitches (i lost count) down one side of my face. The police come and I file a report etc etc and after trawling through hundreds of facebook profiles and youtube gang videos, manage to find someone I recognise from that night and they eventually go to jail for 3 years (justice sucks!).

ANYWAY, throughout the intervening months I come to the realization that douche-bag me is not who I am. . At the start, i felt that I couldnt go on as such an ugly monster. Whenever i was alone at night, or by myself at work i would feel really low and the act of ending it all was always just around the corner. Some days i'd wonder how it would feel to just let go. But then, what of my dreams of becoming who I am meant to be? What about finding love with Mr Right? What about boring all these people on Susans with my anecdotes?!

I realised that suicide was not an issue. In my mind I had always felt it was the easy way out. I didnt want the actions of a gang of scumbags define who I was or what I did with my life. I got my act together and am now currently on low doses of estradiol and with the support of a totally new and very encouraging therapist. I still have a nasty scar that covers a lot of my face - which as a self conscious diva - is a real pain in the bahookie! Whenever I am out I feel very self-conscious and find myself inadvertently covering my face with my hands or sitting in certain positions so as few people see me as possible. Early in my journey however, i discovered the wonder of makeup (my "Paper-bag over the Head" idea wasnt catching on for some reason!) and I felt a new lease of life. The makeup doesnt cover my scar completely but just wearing it really boosts my self esteem and I can look people in the eyes again. Something that seems so small and insignificant to most but for me was like feeling 100ft tall .

Your friend has much more courage than me to undergo her journey. My paltry injury is nothing compared to what shes been through but hopefully my post can reveal that all is not lost. If she stays true to herself then she can be who she wants to be. That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. I hope this helps 

Sorry for boring y'all and (incase i had forgotten!) Heya! XXX

Quote from: Bexi on February 13, 2012, 06:40:07 PM
Your friend has much more courage than me to undergo her journey. My paltry injury is nothing compared to what shes been through but hopefully my post can reveal that all is not lost. If she stays true to herself then she can be who she wants to be. That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. I hope this helps 
Sorry for boring y'all and (incase i had forgotten!) Heya! XXX

And you Ms. Bexi are a truly sweet human being, my very best to you for a very kind, selfless and thoughtful post!

QuoteQuote from: Bexi on Today at 07:40:07 pm

    Your friend has much more courage than me to undergo her journey. My paltry injury is nothing compared to what shes been through but hopefully my post can reveal that all is not lost. If she stays true to herself then she can be who she wants to be. That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. I hope this helps 
    Sorry for boring y'all and (incase i had forgotten!) Heya! XXX

And you Ms. Bexi are a truly sweet human being, my very best to you for a very kind, selfless and thoughtful post!

Aww thanks for the lovely message . Lmao there should be a crying-whilst-smiling-like-a-goofball-smiley!

I just dont want others to waste years of their lives wondering "what if" or being dissuaded from their dreams by the comments of the nay-sayers.
X

Quote from: Bexi on February 13, 2012, 06:40:07 PM
Heya folks,

Normally i'd keep shtum and start a thread in the Intros bit but this topic concerns me a lot and Id like to throw in my two cents.

A few years ago when i was a cock-sure, 18 year old guy, I had the world at my feet - beautiful gf, good looks, confidence and no problems whatsoever. But as time went by, i knew I was living a lie and was a girl trapped in this strange body. I discussed this with a gender therapist but she wasnt helpful in the slightest, in fact was almost discouraging and I left feeling both disgusted and ashamed at my self and my intentions of transistioning. I vowed to try harder at this 'guy' malarkey - regularly going to the gym, turning into a real 'player', and - if im honest - a bit of a douche.

Well, fast-forward one night and I was walking home from a club. It was dark and I was slightly drunk, albeit far from wasted and very much compus mentus. I ended up taking a shortcut home through a supermarket car park and came upon a gang of Neds (Scottish Chavs/Guidos(?) in America) beating up this teenage boy. My alcohol-and-testosterone-fuelled conscience thought, "Screw this, a chance to beat up these scumbags AND be a hero!" So I get myself involved and (if im allowed to be slightly boastful!) get this boy up and free from the mauling he was receiving. However silly me loses focus of the danger and I managed to get 2 glass bottles smashed over my face as I was helping the victim to his feet.

After hitting me, the cowards fled into the night and the victim also scarpered away with not even a thank -you or acknowledgement at all. I ended up getting home, (somehow) drove myself to the hospital and received upwards of 80 stitches (i lost count) down one side of my face. The police come and I file a report etc etc and after trawling through hundreds of facebook profiles and youtube gang videos, manage to find someone I recognise from that night and they eventually go to jail for 3 years (justice sucks!).

ANYWAY, throughout the intervening months I come to the realization that douche-bag me is not who I am. . At the start, i felt that I couldnt go on as such an ugly monster. Whenever i was alone at night, or by myself at work i would feel really low and the act of ending it all was always just around the corner. Some days i'd wonder how it would feel to just let go. But then, what of my dreams of becoming who I am meant to be? What about finding love with Mr Right? What about boring all these people on Susans with my anecdotes?!

I realised that suicide was not an issue. In my mind I had always felt it was the easy way out. I didnt want the actions of a gang of scumbags define who I was or what I did with my life. I got my act together and am now currently on low doses of estradiol and with the support of a totally new and very encouraging therapist. I still have a nasty scar that covers a lot of my face - which as a self conscious diva - is a real pain in the bahookie! Whenever I am out I feel very self-conscious and find myself inadvertently covering my face with my hands or sitting in certain positions so as few people see me as possible. Early in my journey however, i discovered the wonder of makeup (my "Paper-bag over the Head" idea wasnt catching on for some reason!) and I felt a new lease of life. The makeup doesnt cover my scar completely but just wearing it really boosts my self esteem and I can look people in the eyes again. Something that seems so small and insignificant to most but for me was like feeling 100ft tall .

Your friend has much more courage than me to undergo her journey. My paltry injury is nothing compared to what shes been through but hopefully my post can reveal that all is not lost. If she stays true to herself then she can be who she wants to be. That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. I hope this helps 

Sorry for boring y'all and (incase i had forgotten!) Heya! XXX

Bexi, that was such an inspiring story you wrote, the best on this post. I am impressed at how open you are about yourself especially something a lot of us wouldn't wanna share you really are an inspiring person and you seem to have a good attitude. I guess some of us don't realize how small our flaws are compared to other's.

I have an idea.

Your friend will know that many will avoid talking about her scars.

Use that. Present as she really is. Just stand there, bold as brass and think to herself, go on, say something.

I think you'll find that, once she takes the plunge, it will be surprisingly easy.

Let's face it, what's the worst that can happen?

Your friend already knows what it's like to be alone and lonely. People avoiding her because of her appearance. She sounds as if she is on the road to accepting that aspect of herself.

But one thing is very important. I am no suggesting that she is less valuable as a human. I know some black people who take that approach. Especially those who may have emigrated here so are use to living in a society where people don't notice the colour of their skin. It a matter of letting it bother you, so it will bother others.

Quote from: Cindy James on February 13, 2012, 02:05:55 AM
Support her with your love and friendship. She has problems accepting herself  but once she finds that people can and do love her then she will start the journey to acceptance.

Looks are not everything by any means, but young woman and TG woman in particular can get hung up on them for a while.  There is a gorgeous Australian woman who had her face blown off by a shotgun blast from a jealous ex-boyfriend. She was physically very attractive. Little remains of her face, but she is still a gorgeous woman because she accepts people and loves them. Once you can do that your looks do not matter at all.

In the case of your new friend she needs that support to carry her through.  If you do take on this difficult task you will have a friend who will walk through the corridors of Hell to support you. If you cannot then be a friend to her and treat her with love and respect.

But one thing is for certain, you are a fortunate person to have met her and to have befriended her.

Cindy

Hello

Well said Cindy, the woman's name was Kay Nesbitt , we have people here worrying if they pass and I don't know how
Kay has the courage to go out everyday and people are always staring and pointing at her.
She is inspirational and a real human being.
Looks are not everything.If anyone has the time look for Kay's story then we may stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

Namaste'

Atomic Kitten