Amen Shiela.  How can I add to that?

Cindi

I think some TS people are successful because of their dysphoria.  Some dysphoric people will fall into alcohol and drugs to ease their pain and others will become chronic overachievers, very successful outwardly but empty on the inside.  Two different ways of trying to escape the same demons.  I wasn't a miserable failure as a male, I was very successful, but it was all a lie and I always knew that.  I simply couldn't believe that other people never saw it.  My transition was shocking because no one saw it coming and no one had any inkling of how I felt inside.  I think this makes the dysphoria all that more unbelievable to others.  Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much.  Real men don't have to work too hard at being men.  A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion.  I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.

Dawn

Well said Dawn.

Yea... Dawn has incredible insight does she not?  Very nicely put.

Cindi

Quote from: DawnL on September 01, 2006, 08:43:56 PM
I think some TS people are successful because of their dysphoria.  Some dysphoric people will fall into alcohol and drugs to ease their pain and others will become chronic overachievers, very successful outwardly but empty on the inside.  Two different ways of trying to escape the same demons.  I wasn't a miserable failure as a male, I was very successful, but it was all a lie and I always knew that.  I simply couldn't believe that other people never saw it.  My transition was shocking because no one saw it coming and no one had any inkling of how I felt inside.  I think this makes the dysphoria all that more unbelievable to others.  Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much.  Real men don't have to work too hard at being men.  A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion.  I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.

Dawn

You have summed up my life

Buffy

Some dysphoric people fall into fantasy as well. Living a different life though games or whatnot.
^*shrug* That I did, and I certainly never have become an overachiever, to my dismay

Overachiever here, and proud of it. And no, transitioning will not pave the way for further success for me. In my mind, I am successful because I do what I want, when I want, and don't worry about superficial things such as what other people will think of my actions. This, of course, is not to say that I don't care about others' feelings; of course that's not the case. If I could, I'd make a point of it to allow every person on earth to live his/her own dreams.

That said, I wasn't a failure at being female. Of course, I'm not quite certain what the definition of being female is. Did I look pretty and whatnot with a skirt and blouse? Sure. But I felt awful in that get-up. Did I attract men, and even date many? Yeah. Sad to say, but I did. It was all to cover up for the fact I knew I was different, but I did it. I've even dated quite a few guys who I would say were my ideals... not as boyfriends, but as men I'd like to be. I excelled in school, which I could just have easily done as a man, made good friends, worked decent jobs, and even fell in love with a couple amazing women who to this day I swear loved me back.

So being male, as I know I truly am, doesn't mean that things will improve. In fact, I may even suffer some shortcomings from the fact I will be, externally, a man... no more people opening doors for me, nobody picking up the tab after a dinner date, no free taxi rides... but I figure it's about the same. Ambition is ambition, and while having to stumble through my first 24 years as a female hindered me slightly due to the uncomfortableness of it all, I overcame it. It's no different with my being TS. There's nothing wrong with being female. I love women; I'm almost to the point of worshipping them. But I'm not one. That I know quite well. My ambition, my striving to overachieve, will remain, as always, regardless of transition.

Anyone who says otherwise just doesn't understand what it's like to know themself.

Rafe

While I fell into drugs while an adolescent I didn't keep it up and I think I'm a classic underachiever.  People who achieve are noticed and I wanted to remain anonymous - still do as a matter of fact - even though I like to be acknowledged for my accomplishments I find myself holding back in order to remain "safe."

I don't think I was a failure as a man, I just think I never let myself succeed as much as I think I could have had I been comfortable with who I am.

helen

Quote from: DawnL on September 01, 2006, 08:43:56 PM
Successful people still transition, still risk everything simply because the effort needed to maintain that enormous lie becomes too much.  Real men don't have to work too hard at being men.  A woman passing herself off most as male most of her life has to work incredibly hard to maintain the illusion.  I never used to put much stock in the "woman trapped in a man's body" theory but I do now.

Dawn

The transsexual always transitions; otherwise she loses the battle and perishes.  I'm happy as a woman.  Could never be a man.  I don't change this life for anything.