Or gorgeous transgirls. :s Feels terrible man, sometimes I feel like I'll always look like a... well a ->-bleeped-<-.

You guys know this feeling?

It's like a world of cookies and icecream. Cookie is some pretty good stuff, it is crispy and warm and all sorts of other great things. Icecream is also great, but for different reasons! It is cold, and melts on your tongue, and mmm so creamy.

But, I'm an icecream sandwich. I can try to hide all my icecream center, and say I'm just a cookie... or I could hide my cookie and say I'm just icecream... but really, my icecream isn't as rich as pure icecream. And my cookie isn't completely like a normal cookie. And, well, there are billions of normal cookies and normal icecreams around anyway.

But, well, an icecream sandwich is pretty dang good. People don't judge icecream sandwiches as they do a normal cookie... and they don't judge them as they do just icecream... they judge an icecream sandwich as the entire thing, how the cookie and icecream come TOGETHER to make one really tastey snack.

So, I'm just gonna rock the entire icecream sandwich thing I don't want to have to feel ashamed of my cookie bits or my icecream bits

My feelings of despair have turned into hunger.

I don't go to my local transgroup meetings very often for several reasons - the strongest of which is that there are ->-bleeped-<-s there who pass better/are prettier than me, have been blessed by Fate with fairly androgynous looks and small stature, hands and feet - and have NO desire to transition.
It's so unfair that it makes me want to spit.   I come home depressed and hyper aware of all the things that are not right about me.......... whereas if I don't go at all, I forget about my shortcomings and wander through life just being ME and fairly happy about it.

- though yeah, sometimes I see cis women day to day and do get jealous ....... but so do cis girls get envious of other, prettier girls so I can live with that.

I don't care about comparisons, I'm the only me I know of

I would say half the time I really do not care, but when I do care I am scraping bottom and it sucks.

I comfort myself by knowing that many - if not all - ggs are just as prone to compare themselves to other more –attractive- ggs. They do seem to suffer less pangs though, - unless very plain pimply teenagers.
Why on earth would we be the exception – and when going through puberty?!

Guys do it less by far - and if they are well grounded, not at all.
None of: my car, my house, my kids, my dog, my dong, my girl friend/wife, my friends, stuff.
For straight cis-guys to look at other dudes and wanting to be or look like them is a big no-no! It be considered gay! Oh MY!

So we tend to bring this attitude into our girly side - and suffer.
Oh, did I suffer early during transition! I did share my notions with older ggs and they had managed to get over it long ago - said it was puberty causing it mostly (with me –-- and them at the time).

I'm lots better with it these days - it is absolutely related to all things GID, - do NOT forget that.
If and when GID is mostly taken care off, so be most all of this comparison jealousy.

Looking like a guy at times... well some ggs do, getting straight out of bed, neither too pretty a picture either.

Lastly, how many females (by comparison) would you notice you would NEVER want to look like?
There ARE plenty! At least for me... so?
Feel like a big butt, mommy arms, bad skin, bad hair cut, no dress sense, a scowl in place of a nice smile, and a walk like a worn out trooper, etc. etc.

So, just give yourself a break, I suggest :-)

Axélle

People don't compare me to genetic girls but I often compare myself to them. I'm very self critical and look at many females, especially females of my own age to make comparisons. I think I'm of average height and physical proportions compared to other women in the street but my boobs are way too small. I also notice women of my age have bigger butts and I've been working on that and there is some improvement.

Quote from: Rabbit on February 15, 2012, 09:31:46 PM
It's like a world of cookies and icecream. Cookie is some pretty good stuff, it is crispy and warm and all sorts of other great things. Icecream is also great, but for different reasons! It is cold, and melts on your tongue, and mmm so creamy.

But, I'm an icecream sandwich. I can try to hide all my icecream center, and say I'm just a cookie... or I could hide my cookie and say I'm just icecream... but really, my icecream isn't as rich as pure icecream. And my cookie isn't completely like a normal cookie. And, well, there are billions of normal cookies and normal icecreams around anyway.

But, well, an icecream sandwich is pretty dang good. People don't judge icecream sandwiches as they do a normal cookie... and they don't judge them as they do just icecream... they judge an icecream sandwich as the entire thing, how the cookie and icecream come TOGETHER to make one really tastey snack.

So, I'm just gonna rock the entire icecream sandwich thing I don't want to have to feel ashamed of my cookie bits or my icecream bits

What an awesome metaphor and philosophy. I love it.

Nicely put.

Quote from: V M on February 15, 2012, 10:51:06 PM
I don't care about comparisons, I'm the only me I know of

Considering the current period of human perception, social, psychological and spiritual evolution; it is a gift to even be here. Take a look at history and geography and see the incredible lineage of connective tissue making up the whole of the collective human body. Quite remarkable. One little unevolved, immature comment should not figure into it really, and for me, it doesn't.

I don't get compared by other people to other TG or GG, but I have caught myself comparing.  In those times, I think of these lines from Desiderata:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Quote from: Heartwood (Alex) on February 15, 2012, 08:37:56 PM
Or gorgeous transgirls. :s Feels terrible man, sometimes I feel like I'll always look like a... well a ->-bleeped-<-.

You guys know this feeling?

I KNOW I am a very unique, unforgettable person. There isn't anyone else like me to compare to

Being honest I see a LOT of genetic girls I would NOT want to be. I'm happy with who I am today.

Quote from: Steffi on February 15, 2012, 10:16:06 PM
I don't go to my local transgroup meetings very often for several reasons...

I've never been and honestly had no interest in going to TG meetings or outings etc. I find I really don't have a lot in common with most of the TG's I meet.

Quote from: Stephe on February 17, 2012, 12:10:50 AM
I've never been and honestly had no interest in going to TG meetings or outings etc. I find I really don't have a lot in common with most of the TG's I meet.

Same here.
They often seem ever so self-centred it's off-putting.
Me this, me that, me don't get this, or that.
And am I PRETTY...?! and what do you think... like a bunch of 15 year olds.
Quite pathetic.

Axélle

Quote from: Stephe on February 17, 2012, 12:10:50 AM
I've never been and honestly had no interest in going to TG meetings or outings etc. I find I really don't have a lot in common with most of the TG's I meet.

I've never been to any TG meetings or outings etc. I have no desire to frequent that type of lifestyle.  That's not an example of someone who is full time is it?

Quote from: Beverley on February 17, 2012, 11:46:55 AM
Ok.......


What do you think goes on in one of those meetings? It is a bunch of people with something in common coming together to explore and perhaps enjoy that commonality. The same could be said of chess clubs, bridge clubs, sewing circles, vintage car rallies, exhibitions, etc.

How does a TG club differ from any other kind of club?



I am sure it was not on the list of 'Things You Must Not Do If You Are Full Time' that they gave me

Beverley

It's closeted, it's not real life! it's usually people hiding away in safe havens specially created for T's instead of going out in outside world to normal secular pubs , clubs or concerts.

There are days where I curse to the stars. But on the whole, I keep telling myself that its not a contest and that I have strengths that are mine too. Mine might not be in the beauty department, but its okay. Being plain means I blend in to the population better, rather than stand out.

Quote from: Rabbit on February 15, 2012, 09:31:46 PM
It's like a world of cookies and icecream. Cookie is some pretty good stuff, it is crispy and warm and all sorts of other great things. Icecream is also great, but for different reasons! It is cold, and melts on your tongue, and mmm so creamy.

But, I'm an icecream sandwich. I can try to hide all my icecream center, and say I'm just a cookie... or I could hide my cookie and say I'm just icecream... but really, my icecream isn't as rich as pure icecream. And my cookie isn't completely like a normal cookie. And, well, there are billions of normal cookies and normal icecreams around anyway.

But, well, an icecream sandwich is pretty dang good. People don't judge icecream sandwiches as they do a normal cookie... and they don't judge them as they do just icecream... they judge an icecream sandwich as the entire thing, how the cookie and icecream come TOGETHER to make one really tastey snack.

So, I'm just gonna rock the entire icecream sandwich thing I don't want to have to feel ashamed of my cookie bits or my icecream bits

love it! mmm... icecream sammich!

To the OP  you remember when I complimented your pix in another thread.  You are one of those "fairy faced girls" that I used to envy the crap out of when I was younger.  I actually changed my avatar so you can see I'm not completely adverse to make up.  This is a pix that a friend of mine forced me into make up and gussying up.

Envy of female delicacy is something I understand very well even as a cisgendered girl.  I can never ever wear heels because I am a hulking 5 11 girl.  I literally buy one pair of shoes for each season and wear them until they fall apart.  I envy envy envy so much those petite girls around 5 7 who seem to have miraculously been born with flat stomachs and thin body.

I have issues with an enlarged mons pubis.  I'm serious when I tell you that if you reached down the front of my pants my mons pubis is probably bigger than any penis you will ever find.  So I can't wear tight fitted skirts or pants that ride up because I have a camel toe that looks like I decided to stop giving birth and throw on a pair of stretch pants.

I envy envy envy those Playboy type gals that are fit and tiny and sexy.  I have been called  a ->-bleeped-<- many times.  I've also had people just flat out call me sir on several occasions.    And I'm cis.

So I learned a long time ago that "The longer you look in the mirror,  the uglier you get."

So stop it.  You're pretty and delicate looking.  Unless you are hoisting cows over your shoulder during the day  I would not clock you at all.   


One thing I mentioned in another thread is that the difference between cis and trans is that cis girls learn really fast what works and what doesn't.   I will never be   Jennifer Aniston or Sienna Miller.   But I can be Uma Thurman or Annie Lennox on a good day.  Work what you have and ignore the rest.  There's not too much you can do about it. 

Love yourself for you.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
― Oscar Wilde

Quote from: mixie on February 18, 2012, 01:09:49 AM
Love yourself for you.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
― Oscar Wilde

Oh I am  happy being me.  I do have a lot going for me. I get gendered now every time on the phone and I've not done anything to change my voice. A friend pointed out that I sound more and more like a girl when I talk. I'm 5'5, so height isn't an issue for me. I don't need a tracheal shave since my adam's apple is pretty much non-existent. I have hair growing back in on my hairline and then some. maybe my hairline will be lower after all.

All in all, I got very lucky it seems. I may not be busty or stunningly beautiful, but I will be very happy to be myself, wether I get compared to a  Genetic Girl or not. And it must show because people I work with have noticed I smile way more than I ever did before. I need to get some laser work done to my face, that's the only real concern I have at this point, but I'm too happy these days to lose sleep over it.

I'm just a girl who was brought up as one of the boys and I have an outie instead of an innie. It happens.