Hello All,
    Im Gypsy, and I am so grateful I found Susan's Place!   
    On Christmas night after we tucked our children into bed my husband fought with himself to come up with the courage to come out to me as a transgender woman. We have been married for 3 years, together for 5 and I have known him just under a decade. Needless to say I was and sometimes am a bit shocked. I never expected this. I have no idea how to deal with this. BUT I have made up my mind, I AM STAYING! I fought with myself quite a bit over the first few days but I came to realize that I didn't fall in love with C. because he was a man. (Granted for me this was a perk, I am in no way a Lesbian or BiSexual, Or I suppose I wasn't LOL) I fell in love with C. because he was C... From where I see we have a bond that cant be explained. C is my soul-mate, the one constant in my world, and the crazy glue that holds me together. I don't think I could leave even if I wanted to.

I want to support her in every way BUT, I am scared, I am slipping in and out of a very dark place, and I am very very confused. I dont know what I am looking for on this site but I do know I am grateful to know that there are other TSO's out there. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone!

Hi GypsySoul 

Welcome to Susan's    There is allot of great info. and support here including a significant other forum

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Hugs

V M

Welcome to Susan's. 

It is always great to hear from a SO, especially one who is working hard to be supportive.  Love is never something to be ashamed of and I applaud your courage to stay even if it makes others label you.

Regardless of what you need to say or ask, someone here will listen.  Sometimes we can even offer suggestions that have worked for us.

It isn't an easy path you have to walk, but it IS possible.  Don't give up, you can make it work if you want.

If you have any specific questions, just ask away.  As V M said there is even a SO forum.  I'll see if I can get my wife to drop by.  She isn't as much a forum watcher as I am, but I can always ask her to jump on a thread if you have questions that need a SO's perspective.

Hi

Hi Gypsy, look at that, you're already learning how to navigate the site! It's nice to meet you. I stay away from offering marriage advice since I have no experience, but there are lots of people here that will be able to answer your questions. We're always here to talk to. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

Hi Gypsy,
A very big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. You are to be commended for your outstanding courage and conviction. It's my long term belief, people like yourself (Significant Others) are the real unsung heros of this community. While most of the men and women here (& I use those terms in the appropriate dimension) have known for some time, that all in paradise is not rosey, it's the Significant Others like yourself that are brought into the 'play' during the last Act, and perhaps expected to appreciate the entire performance based on small segment of the overall story. Subsequently the daunting exponential learning curve leaves some bewildered to the point of exclusion.

I hope you are able to achieve a greater understanding and insight, through this unique family, not only for 'C', but more importantly, for yourself. After all, you really didn't 'sign on' for this part of the journey, but you have acquiesced your needs and desires for the greater purpose of relationship. A highly commendable character trait.   

I amplify Jeneva's comments on love and the fact that there will always be some one here to listen. I wish you both, complete fulfillment of your needs and desires.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Hi Gypsy and welcome from another Aussie Sheila.  I second everything Catherine has said.  As they say, love conquers all", but only if we allow it to guide us.  It sounds like you have a marriage that is strong, and will become stronger during your journey.   My wife and I divorced long before I started my transition, so I had to do it alone.  I think you are truly wonderful.   Big Hugs.

Karen.

Your story is somewhat similar to ours.  My husband came out to me after we had been married for 11 years.  She offered to leave and provide monetary support to the kids and me.  I said no to that and said that I love her.  I feel the same way about my spouse that you do yours.  I firmly believe we are soulmates. We compliment each other's personalities.  I've always been the tomboy to her more feminine ways.  It all seems to flow easily. 

I'm so glad that you are determined to stay together.  You will need to be stronger than you have ever been. It has been over three years since Jeneva came out to me.  The first year was the hardest for us.  We officially came out to the world on September 5, 2011 in our blog at www.dragonflydreamsfarm.com if you would like to follow our story there.  If you haven't already told your parents, learn from my advice, tell them before coming out to the world. :/

I wish you and your spouse the best of luck and welcome to Susan's!

Quote from: GypsySoul on February 26, 2012, 01:17:26 PM



Thank you everyone for your support and thoughts.

Dragonfly, It would appear we are more alike than just our stories. When I made my log in ID Dragonfly was the name I chose first, it was taken (obviously =D) by you. Also, it is C's dream, as well as my own, to own a small farm here in VA. Just found that to be interesting/amusing. You and Jeneva are an inspiration to me. Walking proof that contrary to how I feel sometimes that surviving this is possible. Thank you. And thank you for your advice, my family is an already strained relationship so I worry a bit about the reactions we will face.

Gypsy,

That is just about the coolest thing that I have ever come across!  We must be kindred spirits.  I absolutely love dragonflies and have several dragonfly tattoos also.  We do love our little farm.  It is one of the most relaxing things to come home from work and play with our animals.  There is nothing quite like having a goose come up to you when you are sitting on the ground and put her head on your shoulder for a hug. If you don't want to stay in Virginia, N.E. TN has good farmland too.

The situation that we share is unusual, especially for this area.  We were very determined from the beginning to stay together.  Some people are just idiots who think they know better about something that is none of their business.  I have found that I am stronger than I realized when I told my mom that if I had to choose between her or Jeneva, Jeneva would be the winner.  She has since decided to accept what is happening.  It was really tough on many of our family members and we have lost touch with many of them.  On the other hand, we have gained so many new and wonderful friends after coming out.  I guess it all works out in the end.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Hang in there.  You will have rough days, but they will get better and better.  If you need anything or need to talk, I'm here.  I truly mean that.

Blessed be,
Shannon

Quote from: GypsySoul on February 26, 2012, 01:17:26 PM
Also, it is C's dream, as well as my own, to own a small farm here in VA. Just found that to be interesting/amusing.

If you are ever near the western part of VA (Bristol is in both TN/VA and it is part of the larger metro area we live in) you are welcome to come visit with our animals.  Or if/when you are able to get started on your own, you are welcome to hatching eggs or even chicks/ducklings/goslings/poults/peachicks if we've had a recent hatch.

Now you just need to talk C into joining too so we can offer her support too.  Just remember, like Shannon said, "It does get better."

Hi GypsySoul,

I am new here, mtf cd, welcome and so admire your courage and stick to it attitude in your marriage. I agree with the guidance of my new family here. I have explored the internet a lot to find answers to me being who I am. A Youtube video I saw a couple of years ago may clarify your situation as a SO. Author Herman Wouk's son transitions to Lolanthe Woulff (Lannie to friends). Lannie who got married while in transition from male & had not changed names so is legally married in California to Joleene. I love how she sees Lannie, her expression jumped out at me & felt this is so right and the truth, her quote

"I fell in love with this human being, I love Lannie, the person behind the eyes. I don't see gender."

She put it so concisely. The mind & spirit is who we fall in love with and it shouldn't matter if we change our gift wrapping appearance from our body frame out.

If interested on Youtube just key in Lolanthe Woulff in the search, and the video is Transgendered Author Lolanthe Woulff With Her Wife Joleene. Bless Joleene.

That is a wonderful human revelation that could be shared in the SO forum, but I can't post there.

I hope this may help you.

Respect & power to you in your journey & good luck with college. Be good to yourself. Hope C becomes a member.

Hugs

Jamie