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Are transsexuals homosexual?

Started by x zOeY x, March 18, 2012, 04:03:22 PM

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x zOeY x

I'm only just posting this now as it's very hard to talk about, please understand before making any insensitive comments.

My wife left me when I came out to her a couple of months ago, and the reason was that because she wanted to be with a heterosexual man and not a homosexual man.
I've been thinking since then, are transsexuals homosexual?
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Trixie

Some are, some aren't. If a transman likes men, he's gay. If a transwoman likes woman, she's a lesbian. If a transman likes woman, he's straight, if a transwoman likes men, she's straight. It's pretty simple really.

I'm bisexual.
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April Dawne

Trans people are like any other people: we can be straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, or any other orientation. Sexual preference and gender expression are mutually exclusive.

~*Don't wanna look without seeing*~

~*Don't wanna touch without feeling*~




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A

Transsexual women are not men. Therefore, a transsexual woman who likes men is heterosexual, and vice versa.

Some have yet to understand, though.
A's Transition Journal
Last update: June 11th, 2012
No more updates
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Amazon D

I am a 14 yr post op celibate asexual woman so let me know when you find out.
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Raya

Yes. Except for the ones who aren't.

My advice, don't get caught up in terminology. She did, after all, also call you a "man". She likely used "homosexual" because that's the only word she knows to describe anything outside of her comfort zone.

If having the coveted title of "straight" is that important to you, I'd think long and hard about transitioning. By transitioning, you failed to "stay in your place" as a "man". To them, nothing you do is "straight" anymore. If you go through with this, you need to accept that any relationship you have with anyone might be branded queer or "homosexual" on that basis alone. Once you transition, the only way out of that are total stealth and suicide.
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Beth Andrea

*exasperated sigh* Some */exasperated sigh* people only think one way--"once a man, always a man."

Even if we modify our dangly bits, take hormones, etc...doesn't matter to them. We have a body that, at one time, was male. Therefore, we will *always* be male.

Seems to me that they are unaware that we have a mind and a soul which is the defining element of "maleness" and "femaleness."
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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MacKenzie

Quote from: x zOeY x on March 18, 2012, 04:03:22 PM
I've been thinking since then, are transsexuals homosexual?

  Some might say that transsexuals are really just effeminate homosexual men in denial while others say that can't be because there are lesbian transwomen. Sadly I think most cis gender people see us as gay men who took it a step further or even sexual perverts.  ::) 

 
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shortNsweet

Fact: Sexual orientation and gender are completely different. As you can see from previous posts, transsexuals can be straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
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Jennifer.L

Sweety :)  a lesbian relationship is much different from a hetro relationship.  Think of how guys are suppoed to be sweet if they open door, or the girl will let the guy win?  You don't really have to fit any one mold like that in a lesbian relationship.  Or atleast I sure don't.  I'm a but kicking, smartypants that loves to be treated like a flower.  I don't have to hid the fact that I'm emotionally and intelligently strong.  I can be the one in heels or we can trade off.  It's jsut what ever the two of you like.

Sure it's more complicated but well.  Honey if you feel like a lesbian, having a dick doesn't mean that much.  You probably still want to think about SRS becasue if you like Gen-Girls  they don't always like that surprise.  But well that's life right?
Live your life.

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azSam

No. Transsexual's are not inherently homosexual. I like men, I consider myself "straight".
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Joelene9

  AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!   I spent decades trying to tell others the transsexuals are not usually gay.  That was one of the misconceptions I had to put up in the past! 
  Joelene
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Rabbit

Quote from: Samantharz on March 18, 2012, 08:22:32 PM
No. Transsexual's are not inherently homosexual. I like men, I consider myself "straight".

Hehe, I like men... and consider myself gay :P

That is why things are just so confusing for people... everyone has a different way of thinking about things.

Really, in the end, it is just an issue of semantics... call it whatever you want, it doesn't really matter in the end ~shrugs~
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pretty

Quote from: April Dawne on March 18, 2012, 04:08:54 PMSexual preference and gender expression are mutually exclusive.

Quote from: shortNsweet on March 18, 2012, 07:51:02 PM
Fact: Sexual orientation and gender are completely different.

I don't get it when people say stuff like this as if statistics don't exist and it works as an explanation for why the majority of MTFs like women but only a small minority of cis women like women.  :-\
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azSam

Quote from: Rabbit on March 18, 2012, 08:26:02 PM
Hehe, I like men... and consider myself gay :P

That is why things are just so confusing for people... everyone has a different way of thinking about things.

Really, in the end, it is just an issue of semantics... call it whatever you want, it doesn't really matter in the end ~shrugs~

I guess it's more on how you view yourself. I am female; I see myself as female, I feel female, so I am simply a female. My attraction to Men would mean that I am "straight".
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Annah

Quote from: x zOeY x on March 18, 2012, 04:03:22 PM
I'm only just posting this now as it's very hard to talk about, please understand before making any insensitive comments.

My wife left me when I came out to her a couple of months ago, and the reason was that because she wanted to be with a heterosexual man and not a homosexual man.
I've been thinking since then, are transsexuals homosexual?

I am having a very hard time believing you.

You say you are married but your pic shows a 16 year old kid and you say that's you.
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Annah

Quote from: pretty on March 18, 2012, 08:26:30 PM
I don't get it when people say stuff like this as if statistics don't exist and it works as an explanation for why the majority of MTFs like women but only a small minority of cis women like women.  :-\

While I do agree that lesbian MTF seem to be like common place, I still believe whole whole heartedly that sexual orientation and gender are different.

It would be interesting to see a serious study conducted to see how many trans women are lesbians. One site I used to belong to, I felt very out of place because whenever I mentioned my boyfriend in their chat they wigged out. I swear...I was part of the 3% who liked men.

A facebook transsite I belong to, I did a poll. Out of 350+ transwomen who did the poll, only 11 liked men.

I think this is the only serious trans website I have ever been part of where I do not feel like I am in the 3% range.

There is nothing wrong with mtf liking women. Please do not misunderstand me. I would love to know the reasoning behind it (the reason why the gap is so large between hetero and homo tgirls).
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A

Trans women tend to transition after having had experience with women, and it's not rare that they have an active relationship with one.

I think all that proves is that experience and environment play a non-negligible role in sexual orientation after transition. That, and exposure to T probably increases the chances of feeling attraction towards women. They were interested in women "because of T", then transitioned, and never felt the need to change, since they had "learned to love women" already.

On another field, maybe being into women is an encouragement for some to transition. Accessorily, homosexuals tend to be more accepting of gender differences, but most importantly, I think there might be a feeling of moral conflicts in MTFs who are into men. They, or their friends and family, might think that transitioning would be fleeing, trying to "excuse their gayness".

Or, uhm, maybe we tend to want to stay away from men, since our own body could have traumatised us in a way that everything guys do is undesirable to us.

It could also be some kind of craving for feminity. It's lacked for so long in our lives that we would not only seek it in ourselves, but also in people close to us.

And women are thought - the general opinion is probably exaggerated, but I don't think it's entirely false - to be more accepting of differences in people close to them than men. Be it the (discutable) fact or the rumour/opinion, maybe it's an encouragement to lean towards women.

Finally, maybe "moderately dysphoric" trans-ish MTFs tend to transition less if they're into men, since being gay could put them in an environment where, sexually, they can probably imagine feminity from the gay bottom's point of view, and socially, they can be feminine with less social repression, because of the preceedingly named more accepting environment there is in homosexual communities.

It can probably explain at least part of the gap... Maybe.
A's Transition Journal
Last update: June 11th, 2012
No more updates
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pretty

Quote from: Annah on March 18, 2012, 09:00:40 PM
While I do agree that lesbian MTF seem to be like common place, I still believe whole whole heartedly that sexual orientation and gender are different.

It would be interesting to see a serious study conducted to see how many trans women are lesbians. One site I used to belong to, I felt very out of place because whenever I mentioned my boyfriend in their chat they wigged out. I swear...I was part of the 3% who liked men.

A facebook transsite I belong to, I did a poll. Out of 350+ transwomen who did the poll, only 11 liked men.

I think this is the only serious trans website I have ever been part of where I do not feel like I am in the 3% range.

There is nothing wrong with mtf liking women. Please do not misunderstand me. I would love to know the reasoning behind it (the reason why the gap is so large between hetero and homo tgirls).

Right. By the way I don't have an agenda or anything, I just don't think the kind of dogmatic insistence by some of the trans community that gender and sexuality can't possibly have any sort of connection at all is helping anyone.  It's convenient and it's obviously false, for whatever reason. We know they have a definite correlation and that's the reality. I mean, it's pretty clear that they have to have a correlation because gender and sex are usually in harmony and there are two sexes for a reason. Whether people wanna go down the nature or nurture street with that is another question and it's a can of worms I am not sticking my nose in  :)
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apple pie

Hmmm I don't mean to be offensive at all, but one of the reasons why more trans women seem to like women compared to genetic women is fairly obvious to me...
Genetic men tend to like women more, don't they? And trans women are overwhelmingly genetic men. *shrug*
Whether that affects sexuality a looot or just a little is something else. But I'm fairly sure it is one important factor.

Two things can be different but correlated / have a causal relationship. "Education" and "income" mean completely different things, but they are correlated / have a causal relationship.
Sexuality, sex and gender are also completely different things. Any male, genetic or trans, may be sexually attracted to men or women (BMWs go in the latter category - not sure about bananas...). But there are pretty clear correlations between them... and probably causal relationships as well.

On the other hand, I don't think that sexuality has a very strong correlation with which gender one prefers to be with. I connect much much better with girls and prefer to be with them, but I am rather unlikely to be playful with them in the ways I am with guys I'm attracted to... it feels very different. (I wouldn't say I definitely wouldn't, though; I do have a little sexual attraction towards girls as well...) And I think many other girls feel the same as well.
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