I have depression and I have been on prozac, welbutrin, and zoloft.  While they did seem to make me feel less depressed they also messed with my sex drive, prozac did nothing to the drive, but completely killed the ability to orgasm, and zoloft killed both of them.

I stopped taking all of those.

My depression is back and I really dont want to be on meds because of what they do to my sex drive.

What can I do to make myself feel less ->-bleeped-<-ty? What can I do to get rid of the suicidal thoughts? Right now I just feel like life is so petty and unimportant, dull, boring, insignificant, it would just be easier to die, ya know?

I do meditate sometimes. I get plenty of sleep, and I have made friends that I hang out with when I feel up to it.

Hi Elijah,

sorry to hear about your depression!
Is your depression caused mainly by trans issues, transition or the lack there off?
If any of this applies, you might try to make small steps towards fulfilling your needs and reaching goals. The forward motion is always having positive effects regardless how small the steps.

I myself started doing sports. Jogging and jump rope to be precise. Oxygen saturated brain and good physical condition helped me to pull through the worst of it.
Starting transition helped the rest.

Having friends is good thing and meditation helps of course too, so you are doing some good things for yourself.
What about your hobbies, interest or volunteering for some non-profit? This might help you find some meaning, excitement or calling in your life!
I don't know what part of the world you live in but here is US national suicide prevention hot line if things get worse: 1-800-273-8255
There are bunch more informations as well as other communication options: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

hope things get better!

I use my light box in the winter and even during the rest of the year. I think it helps. Before I lived alone, I used to have a small master bedroom with a big sliding glass door. I would open the vertical blinds and hang out in bed for an hour or more with a book and a cup of coffee or tea. That definitely helped.

I try not to let my blood sugar spike because that seems to mess with my brain. So I don't eat a lot of carbs.

I get exercise about six days a week.

I see my therapist once a week and occasionally twice in one week.

I inject T once a week rather than biweekly.

I got to a social event once a week.

I talk to my cat. I'm not as close to him as I was my last cat, but any port in a storm. Anyway, he picked me out, so I had no choice.

I try to be positive, but I don't think it's really natural to me. Still, every little bit helps.

I still don't meditate. As soon as I can meditate without feeling that it's touchy-feely, maybe I'll pull it off.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is something you may find of interest. It's been shown to be effective in treating depression, and not a medication in sight. Just talking.

Quote from: envie on March 18, 2012, 10:49:55 PM

Is your depression caused mainly by trans issues, transition or the lack there off?
If any of this applies, you might try to make small steps towards fulfilling your needs and reaching goals. The forward motion is always having positive effects regardless how small the steps.

some of it is my trans issues, but some of it just day to day life (which is good because I am moving on in my transition) but most of it is just chest dysphoria, my boyfriend is trans and has already had surgery and though I am happy for him, it gets to me a lot.

Quote from: Arch on March 18, 2012, 11:03:48 PM
I use my light box in the winter and even during the rest of the year. I think it helps. Before I lived alone, I used to have a small master bedroom with a big sliding glass door. I would open the vertical blinds and hang out in bed for an hour or more with a book and a cup of coffee or tea. That definitely helped.


I get exercise about six days a week.


I inject T once a week rather than biweekly.



I still don't meditate. As soon as I can meditate without feeling that it's touchy-feely, maybe I'll pull it off.

I have heard of light boxes, are they expensive? does it really work?

I need to exercise more, or work out cause back when I did I think it helped a bit.  One time my boyfriend and I were both depressed, and we went for a long walk downtown and felt much better.

I used to do my shots weekly rather then bi weekly, but didnt notice a difference

How did it make you feel touchy feely? just curious

I think you can get just as much benefit from certain bulbs (do some research) or just going outside or sitting next to a bright window. Depends on your options. If the weather is foul, or if it's cloudy, the right indoor light can help.

You can get cheaper light boxes, but mine was probably a couple of hundred a few years ago. It all comes down the bulb and the intensity.

I have also found that doing things, even just a couple of small things, helps me to feel less depressed. I'll do anything and call it an accomplishment. I washed a mug and a spoon for coffee? Okay, I washed some dishes. I made the coffee? That's a task. I rinsed out a couple of empty bottles and put them into the recycling bin? Good job. Sometimes a couple of small tasks will lead to bigger ones.

I'm reading a book on meditation, and it is all about getting in touch with yourself and focusing on your breathing and stuff like that. Some of other things I've read talk about imagining yourself in a pleasant place or a happy space...that's touchy-feely to me. Ugh. If I could get past that, maybe I could get some benefit from meditation.

lol only reason I am interested in the light thing is that I hate sunlight, its so hot and bright

oh, I suppose you can look at meditation that way, but when I meditate I dont really feel like I am connecting to myself, I feel the opposite, disconnecting to myself and everything else, its like everything is black and I am not thinking or moving, just breathing.. maybe I am doing it wrong haha

Quote from: Elijah on March 19, 2012, 02:04:31 AM
oh, I suppose you can look at meditation that way, but when I meditate I dont really feel like I am connecting to myself, I feel the opposite, disconnecting to myself and everything else, its like everything is black and I am not thinking or moving, just breathing.. maybe I am doing it wrong haha

That sounds more like Transcendental Meditation, taking you to a place outside yourself. Not wrong, just different.