Well me Girls and Boys,
Auntie Cindy has been talked into her advice column.

I have a team of helpers to discuss your most depraved  intimate , blackmail problems.

The advice is free.

The answers may not be 

Cindy, the whip, James

Ooh! Spanking!! 

Auntie Cindy, please, I promise to be good!

Crack

Awww.    Down home Under advise.  Always good.

Sis!

Dear Aunty Cindy,
  I hope you can advise me.  I am in Hobart.  Should I have a sexual relationship with someone from Launceston, as he is obviously from the family that live in the North of the State?   I am concerned that my family will think I should choose a partner from the family that live in the South.  What should I do? 

Yours sincerely, Noreen Bogan.

I've been bad! I stepped on a crack, didn't look both ways before I crossed the street, and threw a rock at a squirrel. What do I get?! Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: justmeinoz on April 11, 2012, 05:34:55 AM
Ooh! Spanking!! 

Quote
DINGO:
And after the spanking, the oral sex.

Hi Cindy, thanks for starting this, I am sure that some of the people that really need it will be using your wisdom.  Thanks and aloha.

Jennie

Quote from: justmeinoz on April 11, 2012, 06:24:34 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy,
  I hope you can advise me.  I am in Hobart.  Should I have a sexual relationship with someone from Launceston, as he is obviously from the family that live in the North of the State?   I am concerned that my family will think I should choose a partner from the family that live in the South.  What should I do? 

Yours sincerely, Noreen Bogan.

Dear Noreen

Sexual relationships in Tasmania are now limited to Tassi Tigers, there are far too many inbreeds of other creatures.
Cold showers are suggested, in fact any sort of shower is recommended for people of either family.
Aunty C

Quote from: Devlyn on April 11, 2012, 06:28:49 AM
I've been bad! I stepped on a crack, didn't look both ways before I crossed the street, and threw a rock at a squirrel. What do I get?! Hugs, Devlyn

You need to find the squirrel and place it in your knickers for two hours, then check for remains of nuts.

Aunty C

Quote from: Jamie D on April 11, 2012, 05:41:33 AM
Auntie Cindy, please, I promise to be good!

Crack

Too late, bring the CRACK branding iron. Now bend over

Aunty C

Dear Aunty Cindy,
    What is this shower of which you speak?  Is it something you have on  The Mainland?
Noreen.

If you center that CRACK branding iron, the A in crack goes right over the crack in the A! Hugs, Devlyn

Dear Aunty Cindy,

I have a date with a guy next week, is it cheap and sleazy of me to sleep with him on the first date? Or should I make him work for it?

Hugs,
Kelly

Quote from: justmeinoz on April 13, 2012, 07:05:46 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy,
    What is this shower of which you speak?  Is it something you have on  The Mainland?
Noreen.

In Tassie this is called rain. Go to a store buy Omo sprinkle over body and stand outside anywhere in Tasmania for 10 mins and get soaked. If you catch cold and die this is a positive in evolutionary terms.

Love
Aunty C

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 13, 2012, 08:03:30 AM
Dear Aunty Cindy,

I have a date with a guy next week, is it cheap and sleazy of me to sleep with him on the first date? Or should I make him work for it?

Hugs,
Kelly

You need to make him work for it. Giving him a glass of water would be sufficient.

Aunty C

Quote from: Devlyn on April 13, 2012, 08:00:51 AM
If you center that CRACK branding iron, the A in crack goes right over the crack in the A! Hugs, Devlyn

Dear Devlyn,

Please take up a study to determine which end of the body the A should be.

Aunty C

Dear Auntie Cindy;

Since you are from the land down under, does that mean we need to do the opposite of any advice you give us here in the states?

Dear Aunty Cindy

I'm rather tall with long blonde curly hair and fairly well developed breasts and I'm planning to do a bit of gardening over this spring and summer

Should I wear a bikini and a pair of cute pumps with maybe a festive tropical sarong about my waist? Would a large brimmed floppy hat and beach tote be fashionable? Also what color lipstick and nail polish do you think would work to tie it all together?

Your's truly,

         Jungle Betty

Quote from: JoanneB on April 13, 2012, 08:41:55 PM
Dear Auntie Cindy;

Since you are from the land down under, does that mean we need to do the opposite of any advice you give us here in the states?

Since the average American can't pass wind without instruction, what hope is there for any of them to take notice of my stunning advice?

Aunty C