I moved in with the love of my life about 6 months ago, took a big risk moving to a new state.

I freaking love him to the bottom of my core.  That kind of love where you just feel happy and warm holding their hand, feeling their skin, laughing with them, just all of it.

he just broke up with me.  he left the apt to spend the night with a friend.

Only place I have to go is back to NC with my parents, and I JUST freaking got my TN drivers licence.  he and I have been together about 2 years I would say.

he broke up with me with a letter, and I had no idea that this was coming.  not in my wildest dreams was I expecting this.  Guys I am hurting so bad right now.  I am angry, I am scared, I am heartbroken, lonely, confused, almost every emotion is running through me.  I keep going between states of slamming pillows against the wall, to smoking as many cigs as I can, to being completely numb and staring into space, to sobbing my freaking eyes out.

The only "person" i have to comfort me is my cat.  I have friends here but they are new friends, i dont want to be a blubbering mess around them.

I just dont know why this has happened, he says he has changed, we have grown apart.  he says he doesnt love me anymore.

I feel like part of me is gone, i feel like I will never be happy again.  I feel like no one will ever compare to him, i will never love anyone as much as him.

I feel like doing myself in, I wont but I wish i could.

Feeling your pain dear

{{{Hugs}}}

Man that sucks but hang in there Elijah. I've been there and honestly the person I loved like that I couldn't ever get them completely out of my mind. It's like people say, that only time heals. Right now it's gonna hurt and there's really not much you can do about it except lean on your friends a bit and get through any way you can.

Aww man, so sorry to hear this. I know right now this will be impossible to believe but you will love and be loved like that again, you really will. Do you play any instruments? Write? Anything to channel some of those emotions right now would probably help you feel a little better. Take care dude and feel free to send me a message here if you're looking for someone to chat/vent to.

thanks everyone

and I write and paint, but dont feel much for writing right now and i have no canvas's

Quote from: Elijah on April 16, 2012, 12:31:09 AM
I have friends here but they are new friends, i dont want to be a blubbering mess around them.

I recently have had some issues and I totally feel you on this one. I've only recently been willing to let new people much into my life, and the folks I've met are cool but I don't want to be that guy.

Quotehe says he doesnt love me anymore.

This is the part that destroyed me in my last breakup. It was my first relationship to last more than a year or so, and I didn't, well, he didn't say anything ahead of time about not loving me. When I heard that phrase it wasn't long after hearing its opposite.

The only person I had to comfort me was my kid, and I can't put her in the role of comforting me. I regret how much she saw me cry back then, but nobody is a machine. Getting rejection from a loved one is awful.

Btw I don't paint anymore but used to be if I didn't have canvas I would just use cardboard, or stretch t-shirt cloth over a homemade framework.

Oh yeah and hey Elijah hang on as best you can. Of course life sucks right now but you aren't alone.

yes, the i dont love you anymore felt like a blow straight into my heart.

literally shaking right now, probably dehydrated

The shock of this, just all of a sudden the person you love is gone, like he died, because he doesnt love me anymore, and that makes me feel like the most worthless, ugly, pathetic unwanted thing in the world

Oh man, I can only imagine how much that hurts.  We may be long distance, but feel free to vent as much as you need.  Also yeah, cats are fantastic listeners.  It may be overwhelming, but do what you can to keep yourself safe, happy, and healthy.  You're a great guy, and you owe yourself that much. 
I'm sorry that all I can offer is some words and a long distance hug, but know that we're all here if you need us.

Well. You know you aren't worthless, ugly, pathetic, or unwanted, but I've hesitated here for awhile because you can't, like, just say that and expect it to help. Urg. When I felt like that I had a computer that could run youtube and xfinity and I remember watching a lot of family guy and a show about a dead girl who becomes a reaper and brings other people from life into death. I don't know that watching that stuff helped though or if it was just better than sobbing or smoking cigarettes.

It certainly sucks big time Elijah.  Have a big virtual hug.
It will take a while to get over this, but you will in time.  Grieve for the relationship that has ended, properly.  Take as long as is needed darl. 

If any of your friends ask what is wrong tell them, and let them offer what ever support they give.  It will make a difference, even if they can't actually do anything to take away the pain.
You have lots of friends here too, so vent any time you need to.

Karen.

sldkafjasdf

HOLY F*** MAN

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO LEAP THROUGH THIS SCREEN AND HUG YOU?!


Please please please don't feel worthless. It's horrible that he's done this to you, and in such a cowardly way!
I've been reading your stuff since I first got here and you're AWESOME and AMAZING and if i could meet you in real life, I'd be an annoying friend you can't get rid of.

D: waaant tooo heeelp!!

I'm really, really, sorry Elijah.

As Kyyn said, you seem like a really cool guy too.

I wish there was something I could do to help you out.


I can't imagine how much this must suck.

That's horrible! -big hugs-.  It's not your fault though.  This person shouldn't have made you gone through all the red tape.  Inside and Lexical has it right though.  Your heart will mend over time and you will find someone else.  There are over 7 billion people on this world so don't lose hope.  In the meantime do whatever you have to within reason in order to feel better.  Eat junk food (not too much of it), play violent video games, swing a baseball bat at the tree....whatever.

I'll probably be doing all three today so yeah my next rage of playing Call of Duty Black Ops will be for you.    Don't worry I am going to frag some n00bs and then run over some civilians multiple times in GTA for you buddy.  Hang in there.

Oh Elijah, I'm so sorry.  You aren't worthless, far from it.  Hang in there 

Quote from: Kyyn on April 16, 2012, 04:13:24 AM
sldkafjasdf

HOLY F*** MAN

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO LEAP THROUGH THIS SCREEN AND HUG YOU?!


Please please please don't feel worthless. It's horrible that he's done this to you, and in such a cowardly way!
I've been reading your stuff since I first got here and you're AWESOME and AMAZING and if i could meet you in real life, I'd be an annoying friend you can't get rid of.

D: waaant tooo heeelp!!

This ^^ 

gotta say mate, you're one of the guys I look up to on here.

Sorry Dude --- I can only imagine your pain.   Feel free to grieve .... losing a love one is tough.  Do what you need to do to release as much pain as possible ....then wake up one day and decide to move on.  You have come a long way these past couple years.  That which does not destroy us will only make you stronger.  Maybe and extended trip somewhere would help.

I am so sorry things have fallen apart for you, I know we've never spoken really but I've seen your posts and I could tell how much you love him. I hope so much that things get better for you soon, it's really painful when you don't see it coming at all. As others have said, you are an awesome guy and I only wish the best for you!

The guy is a loser. Breaking up by way of a letter, seriously? Such a coward. Sorry Elijah. I feel your pain but time will heal it and you'll look back at this event in your life and lyao.

Big virtual hug to you, Elijah.

I'm sorry you are going through this. All I can say is try and find something to funnel your energy into to, get out, keep busy, do anything but sit around feeling terrible. Talk to your cat, seriously. I have a snake, and he is the least affectionate animal in the world, but talking to him helps. He doesn't judge me, even when I have snot all over my face. It is hard losing someone you care about, especially when they walk away from you. I haven't lost my partner, but I have lost a few people and one of them was very dear to me. When she walked out of my life I was crushed, because she was one of my oldest friends. Time has a way of healing wounds.

On a side note, I only know you as well as this forum allows, but I know from reading your posts that you seem like a good guy. You deserve better. You do not deserve to have someone walk out on you in such a way. In no way is it your fault. He didn't have the *insert whatever word comes to mind* to talk to you. Hang in there man. And I echo what others have said, if you need anything you can always PM or email me. I might not be there in person, but I hate to see a brother hurting.