Granted, a fire burned your hair and eyebrows off.
I wish I could dunk.

Quote from: bballshorty on April 19, 2012, 03:15:12 PM
Granted, a fire burned your hair and eyebrows off.
I wish I could dunk.

Granted, you are now given the super ability to jump high but you lost both of your arms in an intense arm wrestling contest.

I wish I was able to transition.

Quote from: Malachite on April 19, 2012, 03:59:51 PM
Granted, you are now given the super ability to jump high but you lost both of your arms in an intense arm wrestling contest.

I wish I was able to transition.

Granted, but you transition to an ostrich instead of a male. 

I wish I had a six-pack.

Granted.  You have a six-pack, pity it's a half dozen of KB Gold, the world's worst beer.

I wish I was already fluent in French.

Granted.  You are fluent in French but that languaged died 40 seconds ago so no one will speak it or understand it but you.

I wish I had a sour slushie from the gas station.

Granted, you have a sour slushie. That is, it's filled with soggy sour gummy worms.

I wish school was over for the year, and that I got straight A's.

Granted.  School is over for this year but next year they are extending the school period by another month.  You get straight A's but according to a new law an A is failing now.

I wish I had a cheesecake.

You didn't kill the fish.  It killed you.

I wish I had a soda.

Wish granted you get a soda, but it's only the carbonated water.

I wish I had a more masculine build.

Granted.  You turn into a meathead losing 84 percent of your brain function.

I wish I didn't have to use the bathroom.

Wish granted, you use the restroom where you are.

I wish I had $100.

Granted.  Howeven an unexpected bill came up that costs $100 exactly.

I wish I had more video games.

Wish granted, however your gaming systems were stolen and now you can't play the new games.

I wish I had wings.

Granted.  You are given an extra hot bucket of half-eaten chicken wings.

I wish I found more money on the ground.

Quote from: Malachite on April 24, 2012, 11:36:34 PM
Granted.  You are given an extra hot bucket of half-eaten chicken wings.

Thats just gross -.-

Wish granted, but you're arrested for "stealing money".

I wish I was reborn as a cat.

Granted.  Too bad you got ran over by a truck when trying to cross the street though.

I wish I was a tapeworm waddling in a bucket of water....

o.O wish granted but after infecting someone you're killed off but medication

i wish i could shoot lazers out of my eyes

Granted.  You accidently zapped a mirror and the laser bounced back on to your forehead burning it to the core of your brain.

I wish I owned Gamestop.

wish granted but it tanks and you now owe the US goverment thousands of dollars (and theres an angry mob of gamers at your front door)

i wish i had a job

Granted.  You are overworked and tired as you work 108 hours a week.

I wish I had a McDonald's Ice Cream cone.