Hey guys,

This really confused me and I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel about this, but I was working away and a customer approached me and the convo pretty much went like this:

Customer: Have you ever seen Boys Don't Cry?
Me: (Turns around, confused for a second, but acted like it didn't phase me) Oh yeah, yeah saw it ages ago. It's a really sad movie.
Customer: Is it? Really? What happened to her? The girl?
Me: (Sorta got a feeling of how this will play out, but still acted like I wasn't phased). Oh, she got killed.
Customer: Really? By the men?
Me: Yeah.
Customer: Were they arrested?
Me: I dunno, can't remember...
Customer: S**t happens when you pretend to be a man.

Then the customer walks off. This kinda freaked me out. This is the first time he's talked to me, I generally look quite masculine but my voice and chest let me down most of the time. But like, what's creepin' me out is how he came up to me, mentioned a specific movie and then just walked off. I mean, I'm not too sure how to feel about it. Was it just coincidence, which to be honest I really feel like it was wayyy too specific for it to be a mere coincidence. Was it a threat? Does he know? Is the fact that I'm ftm obvious? The only people I'm out to is my ex, my mum and my doctor, so it's not like he heard through anyone.

What's your take on this guys? :S Is it stupid that I'm worrying about this? Needless to say, I walked home looking over my shoulder...

Jack

If you had his information from check out or something, I would have reported a potential threat from a customer to your manager. I don't know if you're stealth or if you're in a situation where you still look sort of ambiguous and hardly pass in real life yet (since you didn't say), but it may be helpful to at least notify someone of the conversation...because that does seem really weird. Personally, I wouldn't want my employer knowing I wasn't born male, but if it really bothers you that much, I would say something.

It sounds more than freaky, kind of like a veiled threat. Is there anyone you can tell? You could say something like "there's a guy that came in here -- looks like this-- and he kind of threatened me" (something on that order).

I don't think you are in any way overreacting.

--Jay Jay

That is NOT overreacting. You need to report this guy ASAP. That is a threat. There is no way of denying this. Why would any customer randomly mention this movie? And what are the chances that he just happens to tell a trans guy. You need to take the necessary precautions.

I definitely think that sounded like a veiled threat. Reading that creeped me the hell out. It is possible you could explain this to your boss without having to come out if you want to, because obviously this customer doesn't have any way of knowing for sure before he came up to you and made that assumption. But that definitely isn't an overreaction to be thinking about it this way. If that had happened to me I think I would be ->-bleeped-<-ting my pants right now. You should definitely tell someone, it is better to err on the side of caution with a situation like that. It wouldn't matter whether or not you were actually trans or were just a woman with a masculine presentation, the problem is he thinks so and went as far as to practically come out and say "watch your back, because that might happen to you."

That sounds extremely creepy and definitely like a threat.  Way too specific to be anything else really.  I mean, old movie, random stranger, not at all related to your work...I don't think it's stupid to worry about it.  Personally, I'd tell my manager/supervisor about it and be more aware/alert when out alone (or even with others, honestly).

yes dude that sounds ->-bleeped-<-in creepy and it seems like a threat to me. i'm sorry people suck. just keep an eye out at work and be safe bro.

That was a straight threat. Does your store have camera surveillance ? If so can you tell your manager that you received a direct threat to your life and need to consult the police.

If you can I would also report the incident to the police.

Take care

Cindy

I don't know what else to add that the others haven't already said, but agreed - a definite threat in my opinion.

Not a threat, it was an insult. I take it as being phrased with you "pretending to be a man" as the subject rather than the part where "she got killed". The movie was just a convenient way to bring up the subject without relating it directly to you. That's how I interpret it, at least.

Also, if you report it to the police they can't do anything. Really he commented on the plot of a movie and did not relate it explicitly to you or threaten to take any action.

It was intimidation, pure and simple.

To add to what I said before, I just asked my friend who's a cop in California and he told me this:

"In order for something to be defined as a criminal threat, the following elements must apply. They have to threaten your life. You have to actually be fearful that they will in fact carry out this threat. The threat is specific, literal, and it was communicated directly to you. It HAS to include all of those, or else there is nothing that can be done."

Quote from: poptart on May 26, 2012, 07:46:38 AM
To add to what I said before, I just asked my friend who's a cop in California and he told me this:

"In order for something to be defined as a criminal threat, the following elements must apply. They have to threaten your life. You have to actually be fearful that they will in fact carry out this threat. The threat is specific, literal, and it was communicated directly to you. It HAS to include all of those, or else there is nothing that can be done."

It's funny you say this, because I was actually going to eventually if no one else did - because people kept saying to report to police and this is the precise reason I didn't suggest that. I've heard of more than a handful of scenarios where someone feels threatened, calls the police, and the police has said they can't help them because the person hasn't done anything to indicate they will go through with the threat and or the threat is too vague.

_Jack_
You're cute in your picture, it looks like a pass to me.

And yeah... that's pretty threat-y sounding.

Quote from: JasonRX on May 26, 2012, 08:25:58 AM
It's funny you say this, because I was actually going to eventually if no one else did - because people kept saying to report to police and this is the precise reason I didn't suggest that. I've heard of more than a handful of scenarios where someone feels threatened, calls the police, and the police has said they can't help them because the person hasn't done anything to indicate they will go through with the threat and or the threat is too vague.

Basically. I mean, suggesting that a character deserved to be killed is far from a crime.
Haha. That's actually a good way to threaten someone if I ever need to - make it as vague as possible. I'll have to remember this... 

Wow.... I don't even know... That is really scary. I don't think there is anything you can do, from the sounds of it, it was just some random customer, They might never even see/talk to you again.

*huggles*

Holy ->-bleeped-<- dude just reading that freaked me out. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

That's a veiled threat. There may not be anything you can legally do to him, but I think your best bet is to bring attention to it, maybe get your manager involved if you're out with him or her and feel comfortable to. I think your best protection is for you to make it clear you interpreted as a threat, as intended, and if something did happen, eyes would be on him.

I definitely agree with what most people have said, it is not just a coincidental conversation. But I think it sounds more of intimidation than an actual threat (but who knows with people, ay?) I think he was probably trying to freak you out, which Im sure has done the trick. Im sure if you knew the guy, like if he was just some stupid nob you went to school with and you knew his threats were empty, then it wouldnt be as bad, but since its just some random stranger, and you have no idea who he is, but that hes guessed this personal part of your life, its creepy.

If anything, Id tell someone, just to make them aware of whats gone on, but not report it as a threat, as he didnt directly threaten you.
He was probably just some twat thinking hes funny.

Wow...that would freak me out. I think you should report him...chances are he wont do anything but still that's creepy.