I'm sorry, guys.  I don't know where else to put this.  I'm really not liking being trans at the moment because it's so damn hard being trans in this state.  First my gynae talks to the Gender Unit here, which has a monopoly on trans treatment, and tells me that they told her that it's illegal to perform a hysterectomy on me because it's not for "medically necessary" reasons.

Next, I get on a Yahoo! group especially for Aussie guys, and try to reach out to find a gynae here who can perform my hysterectomy - then basically get accused, by other transguys, of trying to bypass the Gender Unit because I don't want to abide by the Standards of Care.  WTF?  Never once did I say I was avoiding the Gender Unit because I didn't want to abide by the Standards of Care.  I said I was avoiding them because I'd been told by multiple people that the psychiatrist emotionally and verbally abuses patients.  I don't want to deal with that if I don't have to.  Why was it assumed that I was trying to "circumvent" the Standards of Care all because I wanted to find out the name of a gynae surgeon in South Australia who would do my bloody hysto without going through the Gender Unit? 

Most of the guys on that site go to the Gender Unit and love it - and I don't know if they got offended because I wasn't going, too, or what.  But it feels like I just keep hitting my head against a brick wall.  I'm so sick of it.  This state has to have a ridiculous illegible legislation that no one can seem to interpret or understand which makes all surgeons in the state think that they'll get a big fat fine if they so much as touch a trans patient.

I'm not out to avoid any "timelines" - and one guy told me that no gynaecological surgeon would "touch me" without abiding by the timelines set forth in the Standards.  WTF.  I'm not TRYING to avoid timelines!  I just want to find a damn surgeon in THIS state who will do it - I don't care if it's ten years from now!  I'm so down I just feel like disappearing.  Everything you have to go out of state for apparently - hysto, chest, for my wife to have IVF...it's ridiculous. 

Dude, I'm so sorry.  I wish I knew what to say.  Would your GP know of a Gyno that would do it or would he/she just refer you to the Gender Unit too?

Now that I've been getting out and about a bit more and meeting some more of the local guys, I've learnt something about the psychiatrist you are talking about.. It seems to be the gay guys he mostly has issues with - and even then, it's not all of them..

Thanks, Paul and Kelly

Paul, I don't know - we assumed this one would be fine with it, but she spoke to the gyno affiliated with the Gender Unit who convinced her it was illegal.  I don't know if the next gyno would do the same thing.  *sigh* 

Kelly, that seems to be what I'm understanding from talking to some other guys.  I may end up having to see him, but maybe my being in my 30s and straight, even though it's a shame he hassles gay guys, may help me out. 

I'm just tired of the run-around, ya know?  I wish I could get definitive answers, but there never seems to be any.

I'm truly sorry to hear this is happening to you. I know what it's like to feel "stuck" and at times feel like being trans just isn't worth it. Then in your head you tell yourself it isn't like this is a choice but again, it's much easier just pretending to be a lesbian. I am not in your EXACT situation but I feel like I fall under a grey area of a lot of things. I'm sorry people have to be so ignorant. You would think that men and women who work as therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists would be so much more knowledgable or at the very least open-minded but that isn't always the case. There are always the bad eggs.

I know this seems random, but maybe if you had the money, would you ever consider doing the surgery out of Australia?

And, on another note, when it rains, it pours. I know when things get bad for us as trans guys, they can get extremely bad. But it always gets better. You have your wife! As long as you have your partner in crime, she should be able to give you the support and encouragement you need to keep on going!

Been there done that,
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When I feeling down about how things work out, I use to think it could be worse. I think about people from middle east who have no choice to transition unless they find a way to escape from everything they know to the unknowned, and then I hope it will turn better in time.
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I know the advice is pretty useless for your situation but its what I do,
I know theres time you really hate your situations, I also had to travel to get the right kinds of threatment, all you can do is to rage for a time and after that time keep your mind clear and think "Okay, this is some s*** what do I do about it?"
and move to your goal. If it requre that your gonna spend more money, time, and travel then do it, if its worth a better threatment and people who threat you right.

Thanks so much for the support, Stewie and Natkat   It really means a lot.  Stewie, I have considered going to the US for surgery and it may even one day be necessary, especially if I get a metoidioplasty.  If it's too much BS I may just get everything done somewhere else - I understand the reason behind legislation and Gender Units, but IMHO sometimes they just cause more harm than good.

I thought that must be you Kreuzfidel. I joined the same group a while ago and found them to be singularly unhelpful. I've had a little help from one or two guys on there, but most of them seemed keen to make me go the exact same route as them, or to completely dismiss any ideas I had of doing things differently. I also found quite a few of them to be rather condescending, which I note you took the brunt of in their replies to you.

As I tried to say to you once before I think, ultimately only you know what is best for you. And as even I, all the way over on the eastern side of the country, have heard bad things about the clinic, I'm not surprised you'd rather go your own way. I would say the best thing you can do is call some gynos yourself and ask if they're comfortable with dealing with trans patients; you can do it annonymously and it's probably your best bet of finding someone who will be happy to work with you.

The problem you may find yourself with (and that I personally would be wary of), is that if you do end up forced into following this specific path with the clinic and don't toe the line completely, they may taint any resources around you and make things even more difficult for you to accomplish on your own. I faced that issue twice locally (once in my own city and once in Sydney), when I worked with two lovely endocrinologist, both of which were forced to tell me they couldn't help me after two equally horendous phsychiatrists stabbed me in the back.

I do know for a fact that it isn't illegal in your state (even if it were, all you'd have to do to get around it is find an understanding surgeon willing to site medical necessity), but it will be finding a gyno who can't be bullied into believing that which will be the hard part. If the very worst comes to the worst Kreuz and you can't find anyone in your own state to help out, you have a friend here who can get you to an understanding doc, and who you can stay and recover with.

I'm so sorry you have to go through that mate.  This may not help but have you tried looking at Youtube videos of guys who had their hysterectomy in Australia to see how they went about getting it?

@ Bane:  Thanks, mate.  Yeah that's what I was worried about, too - the fact that I've heard the clinic will sabotage your efforts to go elsewhere once you're in with them.  Oh well, what will be will be.  I may just take you up on that offer, too, mate   You're a real friend - it means a lot.

@ Malachite:  Thanks...yeah, I've tried searching on YouTube, but I don't see anything that helps.  That's okay though - at least I still have options, just gotta dig deeper.