Quote from: ShawnTOShawnna on May 28, 2012, 06:31:04 PM
Ok well after watching Dr. Oz on oprah's program talk about the gay gene being found in mice and that is also in people. I wonder why someone would all of the sudden be sexually attracted to that which they were not attracted to before due to hormones.
First I have to say it is creepy talking about sexual orientation when the poster looks to be about five or six years old in her avatar photo. However I did look at your profile and saw your age so I realize you are older than that ^_^ .
Like another poster commented it's complicated.
Women tend to be more fluid than non-trans men when it comes to sexual orientation. I think it's because non-trans men operate more on ego and being manly is scary and complicated in the United States of America. A woman can be with another woman and it's not very likely that someone dangerous will get all hostile. However men were taught to get dangerous and hostile and to be repulsed by men who have relations with other men and we (in lower North America) are still working on getting past that. Men tend to be more concerned about what other men think of them and typically try to please other men, this is especially true when dealing with situations where one might be judged as homosexual. It's ironic to me because these men care so much about what other men think and being manly that it screams of homosexuality. I would think a heterosexual would be more concerned with what women thought of him but apparently with groups of non-trans men it's all about some sort of male competition thing, hence all the Harley Davidson's, guns and monster trucks, high-fives and "no-homo".
Women tend to be more fluid in their sexual orientation and they don't risk the same kind of disapproval that men might suffer.
Some times a M2F will seek out sexual relationships with men in order to get validation or approval. Some feel that by having sex with men they will be more feminine or more authentic. However often times the sexual acting out after SRS is embarrassing (to others) and deviates from the norm compared to average women born with all the right equipment.
My own personal observation is that typically, for men sex is about sex but for women sex tends to be about relationships. Women who have very close female friends may engage in what would be considered "sex" by most males, even if those males are mostly fantasizing. I know that as a basically heterosexual woman sex for me is about bonding and relationships, more-so that it is about sex itself. Honestly after being on hormones for over a decade and after having srs over eight years ago I have changed to the point where an orgasm every nine days or so is plenty for me and I could really care less if I ever have sex with another human being ever again. However I would love to be in love with someone, I would love to be very close, to share a great relationship and to have intimacy. That does not mean that I crave sex. Sex for me might be a side-effect of a relationship. But I will not seek anyone out for sex because it's just not part of me to do that. Typically I would tend to have sex with a man who was very into me because I would desire a strong relationship and the sex is something the man would tend to want from me. Also I have only ever had an orgasm with another person one time after SRS and I am not driven to have them. I crave intimacy, not sex, something my male friends don't, can't or won't understand.
Finally I have found that as the kind of woman that I am, I am interested in a protector/provider. My experience so far has been that men tend to fulfill that role better than women do. I have noticed that when I have been with women it has been all about splitting things down the middle and my experience has been that other than a friend and maybe some intimacy, there are no real benefits to being with a woman for me. In order to have a protector/provider I need a man. So that aspect of relationships would cause me to choose a male for a partner and that is something that goes beyond "sexual orientation".
I think a lot of women are like me in this regard and they don't even think about it consciously because most women never lived in the wrong life previously or had to transition. So those women tend to take things for granted without really contemplating the dynamics of it.
So as you can see it isn't all about "sexual orientation" and as far as I am concerned "sexual orientation" tends to be more of a non-trans male thing than a woman thing. This whole preoccupation with with sexual orientation and what turns someone one, what someone is drawn to visually etc. That is mostly a testosterone experience (in my humble opinion and experience).
And I think that is why women tend to be more accepting and more fluid, because they aren't looking at it purely as an "attraction" thing. They look at it more as a practicality issue. My experience having gone "m2f" is that men are driven by their testosterone hormone whereas women are not driven. That is why typically in the past women had the power in relationships, the man would chase after the woman and the women (not driven to have sex) would pick and choose her suitor and she didn't have trouble holding out on the sex till after marriage (typically). Now days we are being told more and more that women and men are exactly the same animal and want all the same things. And I have seen women trying to live up to that expectation having unhappy lives and relationships that fall apart quickly. Women are getting used collectively and have less and less to show for it. And often times m2fs hear about the whole men and women are exactly the same and run with it because they feel like accepting that as being true brings them closer to their goals when really all it does is make the world an unhappier place full of chaos.
There are exceptions to the rule but exceptions aren't the rule. And many of the people who are convinced are wrong because that is how life is. My experience is that my body was a lot different when it was dominated by testosterone and it affected me and made me different than being on estrogen and not having male genitals. It isn't just about bodies but our bodies affect us and make us who we are because we aren't gods and goddesses, we are human animals and a bird is different from a monkey, a tree is different from a flower and a man is different from a woman and that is why I transitioned. If men and women were exactly the same I would have had no reason to transition, I could have instead said, "presto chango" and been a girl. Also this is why most non-trans people have such a hard time accepting people who transitioned because in their world your body makes you who you are. Well it is true in our world too but we have Science on our side and that is what transition is all about. Sorry I got rolling there and had trouble stopping myself.