When I was young I used to enjoy playing with boy stuff and most of my friends were boys, I did also play with some girl toys but I never enjoyed them as much. I remember I used to wish I was a boy and even dressed as one at one time when I was 10 until the kids at school teased me and I went back to dressing like a girl.

I'm almost 20 years old now, and ever since I reached puberty I've been watching straight porn, but I never picture myself as the girl, I always picture myself as the guy who's doing her. I don't really ever find guys attractive. I pretty much drool over women.

Now here's the confusing part, which makes me unsure of if I'm just a lesbian or maybe a transgender. I mean it makes no sense to me. I act like a boy, and I have mostly boys hobbies other than shopping, and I feel like I think like a man would (except for how I want to dress), and I want a penis...but I still want my face to look like a womans, and I want to wear girls clothes. I enjoy doing my hair and makeup and looking pretty.

I'm honestly so confused by all of this. Can anyone give me any insight of what they think??

Just look at girly gays and some "->-bleeped-<-s"
They like theyr boyish parts, but present girlish, why couldn't be FtM like them

For me the real test was really seriously asking myself if I would still want to be a femme at the price of being forced  to spend the rest of my life on an island without any human contact ever.  The answer was a resounding yes.

 There are plenty of women who would like to have a penis from time to time, and there are plenty of women who think like men do - as there are men who think like women do, to varying degrees on both sides.

There aren't really boy or girl hobbies either - just stereotypes.

If you're male, you'll know it, and if you're not... then you'll know it. If you don't know, then perhaps you are thinking about it too much; and if you found out that you were trans, what would you do? Transition? If that would be the case, then I would hope that you would transition purely because that's what makes you happy.

That's what matters, after all. Do what makes you happy, and feel obligated for nothing further. And also... lighten up. Taking things too seriously is a headache! Unless you're like me and thrive on drama.

You might read the androgyne forum posts. This can help people figure out if they are maybe both or if this is not them at all.

--Jay Jay