Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 05, 2012, 02:20:47 PM
I didn't miss any point because there wasn't a point, you were a typical boy who wore typically boy clothes and wore your hair short like a typical boy (a rather tall boy at that).  I will have to dig out my old pics from the 70's and 80's where I didn't wear boy clothes, I didn't have short hair and I wasn't conforming.  I've never worn a tux in my life!

You seem to be looking for excuses or some kind of confirmation because you are insecure about your situation.

I was not a typical boy, that's very unfair of you to say that, you don't know what happen to me and how I was raised.I lived at a catholic boys home, do you think I was able to wear women's clothing there?! I would have been punished severely by the priest. I even had a roommate who was a guy and in secret i kissed him and he kissed me and we both were fantasizing that we were women taking turns playing games. Later on though he raped me and it changed how I felt about all of that for a long while.

If you had the life I had you would be very insecure and unsure as well.

I am glad that you still wanted to know about my test results in the other thread though even though you think this is all pointless.

Quote
Sephirah said this :
Can't say I wasn't expecting this particular outcome, but the thread is far from pointless.

Fascinating insight into how people's minds work.  Not pointless at all.

Quote"please reassure me" in all your threads; and that is just fine with me, to some degree we all need validation.

Yes! I need to be reassured and confirmed, I do not like being all alone in this small town with no one to share my feelings with.

QuoteI didn't have short hair and I wasn't conforming.  I've never worn a tux in my life!

I needed to address that too. So women can't wear suits then? Women can't have short hair? Haven't you met a tomboy before? They are not conforming at all! Did you even think for a minute I could possibly be somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum?

ShawnToShawnna, I like the way your "signature" line is changing.  I'm proud of you.

You haven't had it easy, and I'm glad you are doing better.

Are your test results back yet?

Quote from: ShawnToShawn on June 05, 2012, 02:44:03 PM
I was not a typical boy, that's very unfair of you to say that, you don't know what happen to me and how I was raised.I lived at a catholic boys home, do you think I was able to wear women's clothing there?! I would have been punished severely by the priest. I even had a roommate who was a guy and in secret i kissed him and he kissed me and we both were fantasizing that we were women taking turns playing games. Later on though he raped me and it changed how I felt about all of that for a long while.

If you had the life I had you would be very insecure and unsure as well.

I am glad that you still wanted to know about my test results in the other thread though even though you think this is all pointless.

I grew up in a strict Christian background, forced to go to church and I was sent to a rough all boys school near London in the late 1970's where I got my head kicked in by eight or nine boys at once, this happened most days for 5 years. I was called 'girl' and I used to go home with blood and cuts all over my face! my parents didn't help me move schools and I had to put up with it.

My background was not easy but I still stuck to my principles. I wasn't anything like the other boys and they knew that. They used to joke that I had a vagina and that if girls liked me they were lesbian's!

I hated the look that boys had with short hair and I grew mine out when I was 12, at one time it was long at one time I could sit on it. I felt revolted by boys shoes and clothes and used to find androgynous sneakers and wear girl's jeans and tops.  I also almost got raped as a teenager after going to a music concert but managed to fight they guy off and run away and hide.

I am interested in your genetic testing results as it's very important and you need to find this information out for your own satisfaction, but be prepared for disappointment if they don't come out as intersexed.

Thank you for sharing some of your history Naturally Blonde, I really appreciate that a lot. 

Well even if my tests show nothing that suggest any sort of intersexed condition, there is still something there very strong and I need to start feeling comfortable about it and be able to embrace if truly for the 1st time in my life without fear. 

Okay, before this thread goes down a road it's really better off not going down, let me say that no one here has the right to judge anyone else for the choices and experiences they had in their lives.

Our lives are our own, and lived in our own way. So can we be careful to avoid comparing experiences to determine if someone is 'genuine' or not, please? That's close to violating the terms of service.

And also, if someone doesn't like the contents of a thread, and it's not against the rules of the site, just look at something else. There's enough at Susan's to keep everyone's interest without having to comment on whether a thread has merit or not.

Quote from: Sephirah on June 05, 2012, 03:17:22 PM
Okay, before this thread goes down a road it's really better off not going down, let me say that no one here has the right to judge anyone else for the choices and experiences they had in their lives.

Our lives are our own, and lived in our own way. So can we be careful to avoid comparing experiences to determine if someone is 'genuine' or not, please? That's close to violating the terms of service.

And also, if someone doesn't like the contents of a thread, and it's not against the rules of the site, just look at something else. There's enough at Susan's to keep everyone's interest without having to comment on whether a thread has merit or not.

No one is better than anyone else no matter how we arrived here.  We can compare hard luck stories till the cows come home and I don't see myself as any more 'genuine' than anyone else here. That's your analogy Sephirah, not mine!

Back in the late 1960's and 1970's, in my youth and adolescence, I wish I'd had the knowledge and courage to face my dysphoria.

Some of us recognize and act immediately.
Some of us do so belatedly.
Some of us are oblivious and lost.

I'm glad I found friends here to help me find my way.

Good god people! It was a interesting little experiment. I quite enjoyed it. If you don't care for it then LEAVE this post. Stop whining

More trans than thou commentaries are just sad.

A lot of trans people get hooked into validating their decisions with tidbits from the past that have often morphed into something akin to evidence.  Like they are reinterpreted based on the revelation that they are actually [target sex] or true sex or trans or whatever and it is a matter of digging back into the past to confirm that they are trans and that they are doing the right thing.

The thing is that's all well and good until it becomes pathological.  Unfortunately there are plenty of trans women who do nothing but tell stories about the past, probably because they never transitioned in real life and like the high school jock who scored that winning touchdown they reach back into their memories for a feel-good moment.

The past will never make you feel good about the present.  What will make you feel good is accomplishing your goals.  Deciding to transition can be difficult and uncertain feeling.  But you will know if it is right for you once you begin making progress.  Don't substitute nostalgia for progress.

Noey Nooneson : That doesn't really apply to me, I did not have very many feel good moments back then. Im also not pathological, i am just being honest and seeing things more clearly.

Quote from: Noey Nooneson on June 06, 2012, 03:37:37 AM
More trans than thou commentaries are just sad.

A lot of trans people get hooked into validating their decisions with tidbits from the past that have often morphed into something akin to evidence.  Like they are reinterpreted based on the revelation that they are actually [target sex] or true sex or trans or whatever and it is a matter of digging back into the past to confirm that they are trans and that they are doing the right thing.

The thing is that's all well and good until it becomes pathological.  Unfortunately there are plenty of trans women who do nothing but tell stories about the past, probably because they never transitioned in real life and like the high school jock who scored that winning touchdown they reach back into their memories for a feel-good moment.

The past will never make you feel good about the present.  What will make you feel good is accomplishing your goals.  Deciding to transition can be difficult and uncertain feeling.  But you will know if it is right for you once you begin making progress.  Don't substitute nostalgia for progress.

Great post Noey! that is exactly the point I was trying to make about this thread but you are far more intelligent and articulate than I am at presenting an answer.

I was a boy in most of my life. I was in hiding most of it but I conformed because I was afraid of getting my butt kicked by the neighborhood kids everyday. I got in fights, played basketball (even though I thoroughly sucked at it)... typical boy nonsense. I didn't like myself, but I felt it was something I had to do. I had a secret life that nobody knew about, where I'd get on chat rooms to meet guys that would treat me like a girl. My mom found out about it at kept me from it, so I kept quiet about my life from then on out.

Life thru my teenage years was a giant mistake. It was the biggest mistake of my life and if I could do 1 thing different in life it would be to just suck it up and tell my mom that I loved girls clothes, I loved barbies, I loved playing house etc when I was 6. I was a giant wuss about it.

But I'm okay with it all. It doesn't make me any less of a woman now. I'm happily living as a female, almost a carefree lifestyle too (as far as you can say carefree for someone who is trans). In fact the guys I live with say I'm a bit tomboyish, and they love me for it. My tomboyish sister in law calls me a girly girl barbie doll, and SHE loves me for it.

In short, I am me and I'm okay with it. My past doesn't make me any less of who I am as a girl today. I don't think it makes anybody less of who they are as they see themselves. I don't see any reason to try to feminize who I used to be to validate who I am today.